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College in fall
17/f. My mom is vehemently against my going to college in the fall of this year, she wants me to wait a year. I applied to various schools without her knowledge or consent because I'm not willing to wait a year before going. I sent off my enrollment deposit to the school I'm going to and I've been working with my principal and my Gifted and Talented coordinator, trying to get my mom in to a meeting to discuss the prospects of me going in fall. Well, she's refused to go to the meeting, thinks I'm still waiting a year. I have to send in the tuition and housing deposit and forms to my school, and they have to be signed by a parent since I'm under 18, but I called the school and explained my situation and they agreed that I could sign it myself. So now where I'm at is, I could just leave in fall, go off to my college, and my mom wouldn't have to know until shortly before I do it. I'll only be 17 1/2 by August and I made sure that if she called the police or social services they wouldn't be able to take me back...but now I'm kind of stuck. I have people that are willing to help me move up there and I have a good-paying summer job so I'm set financially, but I don't want to cause a family rift. I'm sick of my mom controlling me, but as much as I want to rub this in her face because of the way she's treated me over the years, I don't know if I can. Do you think I should?
Thanks
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I am GT too, plus my parents/mother are/is the same way, but I don't want to answer this question with that bias so I'll try my best to be fair =)
I think that with your diligence seen in the background of your situation, you should definitly leave in the fall because you will succeed especially with a good education in your pocket. However, I also see the predicament in whether you'll cause a rift, but thinking realisticly, why would parents that try so hard to protect their children want to be on seriously bad terms with them?
I believe if you left, you would show your mother you want to be independent and eventually the bad blood would run downstream and you will also have a college education behind the career of your choice!
Of course, it is your decision. Think logically and make sure you are not disrespectful. Parents don't like that, heh =/
If you have any questions, contact me!
--> mayya
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I definitely think you should. I cannot even begin to imagine why she is so set against you going and I don't know if you have tried to find this out from her at all but it might just be parental angst. I would strongly recommend that if you haven't already, you should try to talk this out with her as soon as possible.
Either way, your education is possibly the most important thing because the choices you make as far as learning right now could well affect the majority of your future. Sadly, this is something I am saying with hindsight.
The point is, however upset your Mum might be at you going off to college and leaving her behind, she will eventually come round and understand that college was something you had to do, for yourself and for your future. If it does cause a rift between the two of you, this may be something you will need to cope with because as a Mother, she should want what is best for you and be supporting you through all of this. Things will work out in time but right now, you need to do this and work hard at it. I'm sure you will do her proud.
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you're doing the greatest thing possible right now. have you talked to other relatives, yet, to see if you can stay with them for breaks and things if your mother won't let you? have you attempted to become legally emancipated from your mother to avoid legal issues? if so, I see absolutely nothing wrong in leaving this fall.
I commend you.
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Wow, this is incredible. You've done all that without your mom knowing? I could never do that, haha.
Why does she want you to wait a year? I was thinking about it and the only thing I can think of is that she doesn't want you to leave or "grow up" so quickly. If thats the case then she should have spent more time with you during the school year knowing that most kids leave next fall. See, most parents don't encourage their kids to wait a year because once they take that year off they might be unmotivated to enroll the next year so its surprising that your mom is doing this.
But if you really want to go to college and you've already gone through everything, then yea you should totally do it. This is your opportunity for higher education and you should take it.
If I was in your situation and I got that far, I'd go for it ;)
♥
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Holy shit. You are one bad ass chick.
Wow... as a just turned 18/f going to college in the fall, I could never imagine being the in place you are, as my parents have always been supportive of my going off to college...
This whole thing sounds more like a maturity issue with your mom... at this point it just seems like she's being stubborn and wants to prove a point. As your mother, she needs to support your dreams. Part of your dream is to go off to college right now. She should be happy and grateful that she has a driven and smart child like you. If this causes a family rift, then so be it. It's not like you're going out, doing drugs, partying every night. You're not doing anything wrong and she shouldn't make you feel like shit for having a little ambition. (or a lot).
Keep in mind though, right now you are the bigger person. If you rub this in her face, you're kind of bringing her down to your level. Sure, it will make you feel great to be like "look what I did- WITHOUT you" but trust me, it will have more of an effect if you just leave and show no emotion for her opinions or reactions whatsoever. I'd say, stay the bigger, more mature person in the situation and you'll be sure to keep what power you've obtained for yourself.
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