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Friend with many problems...how to help? idk?
So.. my friend, whom we'll call stacy, and her boyfriend, whom we'll call sean is what this is about i think. Not so much with sean..but i could be wrong. Stacy for the past 2 months, i just found out has been throwing up her food , and lately she can't hold it down..its a natural thing now, and because she does this, she cuts herself, and cutting herself makes her eat..its a vicious cycle. She wants to tell her mom, but her pregnant sister ran away and her mom is under a LOT of stress, so she doesn't want to put that load on top of it. She knows she has a problem, and i want to help her. But i know i can't do it by myself, she's stubborn. Would it be okay to talk to our schools couselor about this? thanx for any thing you can help w/. Oh, and where sean comes in, i think she's throwing up because of him, she thinks she's too fat? or something maybe? i hope not because he isnt like that. but plz help me. I'm the only one she's told about the cutting
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Dear Friend with Problems,
You are in the unique position to do something that could save Stacey's life. What she's doing is a form of slow suicide, and yes, she needs help! As sometimes happens with people who need help, your friend may not be willing to admit that she's in trouble. The question you need to ask yourself is this: if Stacy ends up in the hospital, or dead, as a result of what she's doing, how will you feel knowing that you could have told someone (a school counselor, teacher, minister, other relative, or her mother) but didn't?
Given that she did, after all, tell you about what she's doing, Stacey may secretly hope that you'll reach out on her behalf. Just know that she is not well (emotionally speaking) and even if she gets angry at you for telling someone, you'll know you did the responsible thing.
Also, google "teen hotlines" or "crisis hotlines" and you will probably be able to find something in your area. Most of the crisis hotlines use toll free numbers and operate 24 hours a day; contact with these counselors is always confidential and anonymous.
It's a touch decision, and I know you will do the right thing.
I wish you well.
Take Care,
Earth Mother
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hey,
my best friend went threw all that when her boyfreind of 2 years broke up with her and told her dhe was to fat to get anyone else, even though she gorgous. She confided in me one day in august I really just wanted to scream and tell her she freakin crazy but I knew it wouldn't help. She told me she wanted help, I talked her into going to the docter. Her docter ended up telling her momma for her so the news was broken more lightly. She needed her mom to know but didn't kno how to tell her. this is very serious. Her tell were rotting from the acid in the throw up. her mom force feed her and started going to the bathroom with her after they ate. your freind needs help and now. if you cant get through to her about maybe seeing a docter explain to her you'll go to the counseler if she doesn't get help. sometimes dractic times call for drastic measures.
I hope everthing works out ok. let me know.
love leah
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First of all you should definately tell someone, anyone about your friend's problem because it could get worse if you don't. And you should tell your friend that their are other ways to lose weight that are healthier to your body. You should also talk to Stacy about the cutting and throwing up because she may just need someone to listen to what she has to say. Oh and before you go tell an adult I would talk to her so she doesn't think you are selling her out or something by getting her help. Best of Luck :)
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It's great that she understands she needs help. I think the school counsellor would be a great idea, or even better a doctor. Both meetings will be totally confidential, so she doesn't need to worry about extra stress for her mother. And with you by her side to support her, I'm sure she will get through.
If she has the internet, I'd like to suggest a site we use in Australia where she can find advice and speak confidentially to a counsellor online.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
best wishes to you and her, stay strong!
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First of all, she obviously trusts you to have told you these things. And it's the first step for her to realize that it is a problem. Stuff like this is impossible to give an answer that will work for every situation, but in this case, talking to your school counselor is a WONDERFUL idea! And you're right, you can't do this by yourself, and neither can she. So the most important thing is to be there for her, and support her in trying to overcome this. You are obviously VERY mature, that is clear by the way you are trying to handle this situation. But stay in there! You might want to read up on other cases like your friend's on the internet or in health magazines for more advice.I must say this, however, THIS WILL NOT BE EASY! But I promise that it will be worth it. Her revealing this to you is a way of her asking for help. Turning away would be the worst thing to do, but you already know that...otherwise you wouldn't have asked.
Just don't give up, and don't let her give up either. Best of Luck!
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