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Alright so me and my bf broke up 2 days ago but we are still basicly together nd tryin to fix things... the problem is I dont really want to i dont think. I dont know how I would be able to just end it with him without telling him straight out. Im not good with that sort of thing
People always tell me how i can do so much better and that he is just an ass and all this stuff But i dont think I can do better..
What should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
only you can decide if you want to fix things and get back with him. if you decide you want to give it another shot and fix thiongs with him..then go for it. dont always be so concerned about what others thnk. however, you sound like you have mixed feelings. definately dont toy with this guy..dont make him think you like him and you want to be with him if your not sure.
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If your line of thinking is that you are going to stay with him because you don't think you can do any better then my vote is for a brake up. That is no reason to stay with someone. It's a shame that people have to use the thought process of someone being better or worse than someone else. I wish people would use more constructive statements like...the relationship between the two of you doesn't seem healthy, he dominates your life, he doesn't seem to have much ambition, etc. What I'll say to you is this...there is nothing wrong with ending a relationship no matter how long you've been in it if it is in your best interest to do so. You tried it and it didn't work with this guy. That's ok, oh, and that's what dating is all about. You date different people until you come upon the one person that resonates with you. There will always be disagreement in relationships, but there is someone out there that you will just seem to fit...and you'll know what I mean when you find them. So, if you have to be up front with him, you have to be up front. Have friends with you in case he gets upset and you have someone around to help you if you need it. What he isn't worth is the cost of your happiness and joy of life.
Namaste!
LULABELLE
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To be honest with you, it sounds more as though, for whatever reason, your self esteem is low and you may be staying with him because, as long as he's there, you know that someone wants you.
That said, the fact of the matter is that you don't know what you want right now. Before you make any more decisions about him, you need to work out what it is you want. Do you really care for him or is it just that even for a while, he makes you feel better than you feel you are?
If that is the case, however difficult it may be, you will need to end the relationship. The problem with low self-esteem is that it often leads to a co-dependent relationship, which is okay to an extent but you need to learn to love yourself before being with someone else, because if you don't it will only hurt more if they go away.
Now I don't know this guy and you haven't said why your friends feel this way about him but there may well be a good reason. If you were to detatch yourself from your situation right now, or maybe even imagine that this guy is treating a friend the way he treats you, I wonder if you would feel the same way about him as your friends.
Either way, if he isn't treating you with respect and care then he doesn't deserve you and no matter what you may think, you CAN do better. All you need to do is convince yourself, throw in a bit of confidence and see where it takes you.
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I had the same problem.
I ended up doing thw rong thing, I waited it out until he didn't like me anymore. I realize now that was a bad choice because I had to wait a really long time, and I couldn't show that I liked anyone because I was afraid of hurting him.
You have to tell him flat out how you are feeling, if you don't he'll keep on thinking he has a chance with you and might not ever stop likign you.
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Lets switch roles for a moment and imagine that someone you were with didn't want to be with you, but was too afraid to tell you. They might ignore you, avoid you, pick fights, or maybe start flirting with somebody else well you still sat around confused and hoping it will all work out.
You could do all of that to him and see if he'll dump you but I bet if somebody did that to you, you'd think they were scum, and you'd be right.
There is no 'nice' way to dump a person without even telling them. If you are really so terrible with this, write him a nice handwritten note to end it, but know that it's pretty universally accepted that the nicest way to dump someone is face to face and it is a skill you will need in life.
Don't play games, it's really disgusting to do that to a person, no mater how much an ass he is.
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