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Hypocritical Husband
Alright, I'm 21, and I'm married to a 22 year old Air Force man. We've been married for about a year and a half now. Anyways, we both work. We only have one car, so my hubby often times has to take me to work, and take me home from work. We live off base, and work on base. Sometimes there won't be a whole lot to eat at home, or I'm really wanting to eat out, and I'll suggest it. Then he'll say,"We don't have enough money, just make something at home." And he'll go to work(the same day), and eat out on his lunch break when he could bring something from home, or come home to eat instead of eat out.
It just pisses me off, because I'm always stuck at home eating left-overs, or scraping something together because we need to go shopping, and he gets to go out to eat. I talked to him before about this, but he CONTINUES to do it. I don't know what to do. I'm sitting here hungry, because there's not much to eat(and nothing good). And I packed him something to eat for when he went to work, but he didn't take it, and ate at Burger King instead(after yesterday he told me we couldn't eat at Burger King because we didn't have enough money). I am at my wits end. He doesn't seem at all sympathetic or sorry when I explain to him my feelings.
And there are times even, when we're in the BX that I want to go eat at the food court, and the only place that's fast enough is Anthony's Pizza, but he doesn't want to eat there because he ate there the night before, so he takes me home so I can make something instead, while he goes back to work. I honestly don't know what to do anymore!
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This one of the stupidest BS fights I have ever heard of. What's the real issue here? If you really want to eat out then make your own money and go out to eat yourself. Is it that you don't feel "taken care of" and you need more attention from him?
(female/24)
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You probably don't wanna hear this: Honestly, it's your own fault. you let it get to this First he starts controlling what you eat, then what you wear, then when and if you can leave the house. The way I see it is that he's already beginning to lose a little respect for you.You may think I'm going overboard with my perception but if your husband isn't being sympathetic to his wife than maybe you should take a better look at the relationship. You let him take over the 'man' position in the house.You probably don't stand up for yourself enouch or at all. You need to let him know that as his wife you deserve to enjoy the same priviliges as he does. And don't let him tell you other wise !
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I know this sucks to hear, but sometimes men change after thet get married. If he has, there is no way to change him back no matter how much love and help u give him. As much as I wanna help, there is only so much I can say. I wish you luck with him and try to reason with him. Maybe make him see eye to eye with you.
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hey, all you can do is talk to him about it and if he chooses not to listen and stil ignores your requests then maybe hes not right for you. hope i have helped. please rate.
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You need to be a little more proactive hun and sit him down and explain your problems simply. You are not happy with the food arrangement and feel he is being a hypocrite when he will not let you eat out but purchases his lunch. Use the money approach with him, since that is his argument with you.
You need to come to some sort of agreement, such as promising each other you will only eat out twice a week. You also need to discuss groceries 'cause eating out is expensive and not nearly as good for you as things you can make at home. So start thinking of foods you like, and ones that would make good lunches. You need to learn how to meal plan, it will save you time and money and angst!
What is wrong with picking up a slice of pizza even if he doesn't want any? Absolutely nothing. Why haven't you gotten groceries for the house? Is taking a cab impossible? Are there no twenty-four hour stores around? Is there no way to have your groceries delivered? You need to take some responsibility for feeding yourself and stop blaming him.
Problems are only unsolvable if you let them be. You sound like you are getting yourself all wound up and upset without seriously considering any other way of dealing with this besides "Well he needs to change!"
Worse case scenario: He might not change. So how are you going to take care of yourself and eat well?
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