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Karma With A Twist..
i'm 15 and my ex boyfriend is 16.. we broke up back in july.. we'd been going out for 9 months and 2 weeks prior.. we were both of each others longest relationships.. we broke up alot before but this time it was for good.. well in october i found out i was 5 1/2 months pregnant.. ya i know.. he was alittle supportive but not until he found out i was going with adoption because i don't want to be a mom and there's no way i could handle that change right now.. finally in late december he started to call & come over -- it was a big change becuase he wanted nothing to do with me all summer & i hate to admit it but i was even told by 2 counselors & my mother that he was honestly my "first true love" & when he left i hit rock bottom & of course i'm still not over him.. but my problem is -- one of the times he came over we were hanging out as friends & the next thing i know we were making out & doing things we used to like we were going out again but when i asked him later on why we can't just go back out he said he can't just jump back into a relationship but that he truely did love me & i believe it because i'm pretty positive i was his "first true love" too.. so now when we hang out (which is not alot at all maybe 1 time every 2 weeks) we act like we're going out.. we hold hands & kiss & tell each other we love each other but there's 2 girls in my grade he flirts with soooo much & they want him all of a sudden & they are definitely competition material & i know he likes them but don't know if he wants them.. yet he tells me he hasn't done anything with any other girl since we broke up & he just misses what we had.. yet he doesn't act like he plans on having us get back together.. so do you think i honestly have a chance & just need to wait & MAKE him fall back in love with me or is he possibly just using me when no one's around to get what he wants & once the adoption's final he'll just leave again for good..? i'm still madly in love with him & i don't want anyone else - yet i don't want to play friends with benefits if thats all it's going to be but i'd do anything with him if it'd make that spark come back for me.. what should i do??
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If he does truly love you and want you back then he most likely would have asked you back already. I think that either he is just looking for someone to hook up with and stuff or that he actually does want to be with you but is putting it off because he knows youre not going anywhere no matter what hes doing. and if he thinks that then things are not going to change. and he is right that you cant just jump right back into a relationship.. but i wouldnt wait around for it to happen.. and you lucky that he is being supportive cause a lot of guys can be supportive but dont hang out with the girl, theyll just let them know that if you need anything theyre there.. and i also agree with the girl who told you to play hard to get.. it works most of the time.. if you do that and he doesnt want you back and stuff then you know he was just messing with you..
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You might of been his first love but its obviouse he's using you now. he tells you he loves you but dosent wanna get back together with you thats the weiredst thing ive ever heard when guy truly loves a girl he wants her to be his and only his,if he really "LOVED" you like he says he does he'd have already asked you to be his girl and been really romantic about it, thats what love really is.other wise its just lust and infatuation. i can tell that you love him and want him back, what you need to do now is act diffrently towards him and test his true feelings for you. i know you might lose him in the process but its better then in the position your in now, and remeber this is only to see if he really wants you in the end.
what you need to do
1. Dont say you love him any more, when he says he loves you just smile and say i know you do dont say it back unless he asks if you love him back then just nod. the point is to stop reeasuring him of you love and commitment to him
2. Decrease all the cuddling holding hands and start making excuses to decrease seeing him
3. Dont tell him everything that goes on in your life have a sense of mystery, if he asks whats going on in your life just saying nothing and change the subject.
4. Last but not least make up some story of a guy hitting on you but laugh about it and say something like "i still got it". he'll defiently get jelouse and feel like his he needs to do something to make sure your not moving on
*do this for a week and hopefully if he does feel that stronlgy towards you he'll do something about it, the key here is to get your man wanting and falling for you again, and remeber guys all ways like it when you play hard to get, or if you seem un intrested he'll chase after you again*
hope things go well and this works
syireen
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Can't you see? He's just trying to have a fuck buddy. You may be his first tru love but still, guys have only a one track mind.
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See, you COULD go with the incredibly immature, revengeful advice given below, but then you would have screwed up your life (and most likely your potential child's) life for the next 18 years just to make your ex feel shitty, and he'll feel shitty enough as it is when it finally hits him that he's being a complete and total douche bag. It might not be until he's older, but trust me, he'll feel the guilt eventually.
Still put the kid up for adoption. You didn't seem like you were wavering on that decision, but I just thought I'd reemphasize that point. It's very smart and brave of you to do this.
Get rid of this guy. The fact that he has the audacity to go and flirt with those girls and then go and tell his pregnant ex that he still loves her is completely mindblowing and awful. He will cause nothing but pain for you no matter what. Please stop acting like you're going out with him.. if anything, not kissing him or what not will probably just make him want you more, and by the time that happens you'll likely have realized there are bigger and better things out there. You might not even have to put effort in to get rid of him if he leaves when you put your child up for adoption- and in that case he wasn't worth it anyway. A worthy guy would respect your decision of what you do with your life.
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no.1 keep the kid
no.2 claim child support and screw up the assholes life for 18 years
no.3 you win he loses
lol seriously.. next time you see him.. DONT GIVE HIM ANY! no kissing, no holding hands, nothing.. tell him if he wants it to be that way.. then he has to start seeing you at least 5 times a week for 3 months before anything starts.. if he loves you.. and wants to be with you he will wait.. if he just wants sex.. he will tell ya to get lost.. so there ya go :D
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I think it was smart of you to go with adoption that way you can still find where the baby lives and be a part of its life. Now the x tho i think he is just useing you to get some. I think you need leave him in the past before you get hurt again. I understand this can be hard but it needs to be done. It seems like he will be there but he wont always be there. those other girls are most likely on his mind when he is with you. he is trying to do the right thing but just cant stay focused on the person who needs the attention. I am sorry to be hard but you need to see the truth
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