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I still love him...
My boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 months ago. We went out for 2 and a half years (I am almost 21 and he is 22). I thought I was over him but I realized I still love him. He says he doesn't love me in a romantic way anymore, just as a friend (we are still best friends, the breakup was mutual). We had broken up because we argued alot, but never about anything serious. I realized now that I love him still and I want to get back together with him. We had something great (and we still do) and he even says it was the best two and a half years of his life. He says he doesn't want to be with anyone right now but nothing much has changed since we broke up (we hang out all the time and everything, we just aren't intimate). I want him back so badly because he makes me so happy, he can make me laugh when I am sad. I don't know what to do. I can't get over him (I don't want to either, I want to be with him again) because I love him so much and it hurts to think of him with someone else. What should I do? What do you think about the whole situation?
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It's only been two months and you haven't severed any ties. Of course you still feel this way. Tell him you want him back and want to work out your problems. If he isn't interested then you need a looong break (no contact) to get over him. Trust me, as long as you are "friends" you won't get over it. You can be friends....next year this time. You need time.
(female/24)
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I'm very sorry that you guys had such a long relationship that ended so suddenly, its horrible when things like that happen. But i suggest that you tell him how you feel. If he doesnt know, how will he do anything about it? If he at least knows you still have strong feelings for him & you miss how things used to be, then he might think about it and see that he still has feelings for you too. Most people who have long relationships especially in your circumstances for 2 & a half years.. dont just get over someone that easy, i would bet that he still has some kind of feelings for you deep in his heart and you telling him that you still love him will make it easier for him to see that.
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This is a very tough situation to be in and I know that it hurts to be so close TO someone and not be as close WITH them as you want to be.
You mentioned that you are still together all the time, just not in an intimate way. It's possible that your ex-boyfriend hasn't really had an opportunity to sort through his feelings. I suggest that you let him know how you feel and then tell him that you think it would be best if you didn't spend so much time together for awhile. This will give him some time to see what his life is like without you by his side and perhaps he will remember his romantic feelings for you. It will also give you an opportunity to move on a bit yourself and grow a little as an individual. The first time you were together was riddled with arguments, so you shouldn't want to jump back into things exactly as they were before anyway.
I know the idea of time apart is not appealing to you because you care so deeply for him, but the status quo sounds like it's difficult for you also. Time apart should help you both to find clarity on your feelings for each other. I can't promise that you will like the outcome but it beats being stuck in the "friend rut" that you are in now. Best of luck to you.
Kind wishes,
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Tell him how you feel. Communication is crucial for any relationship and friendship. You said you seemed to argue a lot. While that is part of any relationship, I think you might find it beneficial to try to not argue as much. I know its not over serious things, probably what they call 'nothing fights' [no offence]. Try working on what the problem is, whether its your temper, your tendency to let things slip out, etc. Ask him if he could try to do the same too. There is nothing wrong with saying to yourself: you know what, let me just stop this before it goes any further because neither of us is getting anything positive out of this.
Ask him if he would take the time to sort out his feelings about you. While they may be just as strong as they were before, or even stronger since he might be missing you as a girlfriend, that is something you need to know - it could just be that he would rather have you as a friend than a girlfriend. Whatever the case may be, give him time to sort out his feelings and let him be open to you. I know that sounds obvious, but sometimes that can intimidate a guy to not say everything on his mind - when it seems like he might get an unexpected or unwanted reaction for what he says.
Wait things out a bit and see what happens. The most you could do would probably listen to what he has to say and be there for him as a friend when he needs it...or even just because. Don't take this the wrong way, but you are in a good situation in comparasion to like a situation where he hates you and is avoiding you. You are still friends with him, and if he wants to keep things like that, try to be understanding and still care for him - he might even come to the same realization you have and have a change of heart =) Don't give up your hope, but at the same time be willing to accept whatever his thoughts and decisions may be. I hope that helped, feel better and good luck.
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