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little fights
me and my boyfriend are continuously having little fights over nothing.... i think its because we hang out all the time and when were not hanging out together, were on the phone with eachother. i think were just too into eachother and i think we need to have lives besides eachother and i think that will really help. how do i not talk to him as much and see him less. because i love him and i always want to see him. weve been dating for over a year and were both 16. thanks!
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Talk to him about it, tell him you need a little space, or maybe you could invite some girlfriends over more often, so he wouldnt want to cum over then..or talk to you while you are having fun with them..or just dont call him much..maybe he will get the hint..i hope i helped sum!
♥
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Everyone needs space from being with anyone constantly. It's healthy and actually makes life more interesting. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders to realize that you both need some time away from each other. Good for you!
You guys have been together for a long time and that then means you've been spending an inordinate amount of time together if you two are always with one another and always on the phone. When two people are constantly with one another (and this can apply to any friendship or with a family member) there is the likelihood that small things begin to get on each person's nerves. Thus the "little fights."
Try talking to your boyfriend and tell him that you think that the two of you need to spend some time with other friends and doing things separately from time to time. Let him know that you're not breaking up with him, but that you think you two would actually be more interesting to one another if you had some separate interests. It would give you more to talk about and would also help each of you grow as individuals. Too often couples run into problems when they allow themselves to become almost as though they are ONE. A relationship is much more apt to survive if each person retains their individuality. You guys don't seem to be encouraging too much of that now.
So, take up an art class, or yoga, or anything that you might find interesting. Look at your local recreation center's calendar of classes and see what you might be able to afford and what sorts of classes are offered. Encourage your boyfriend to do the same, but take separate classes! Try to have a night or two when it's just a girls' night together when you have friends over to watch a movie, go out for a bite to eat, see a movie, etc. Again, encourage your boyfriend to do this as well. Make sure you create some time alone - without your boyfriend or your girlfriends. Read, write in a journal, take up a hobby.
Try limiting the length and frequency of your daily phone calls. You don't have to stop them entirely, just be more aware of how long and often you guys talk. If you develop some other interests in your life, you won't miss the constant chatting so much.
Sometimes when one person in a relationship wants to have a little more space the other person gets scared. Be aware that this may happen and be gentle and reassuring with your boyfriend. Remind him that you're trying to do something not only for yourself, which is definitely healthy, but that you're trying to do something to make your relationship better. Tell him that's it's gotten silly how you guys argue over such little things and that this way you two should be able to avoid some of that. (Of course arguing over little things will always be a common occurrence in relationships, but certain things can be done to make that happen less frequently.) Let him know how much you still love being with him and will definitely want to do things with him. And then, when you guys are together, see if you can think of special things to do that will make that time even more memorable. I bet if you both really talk through this that he will agree with you, even if not at first. Just stick to your guns and start branching out with your interests. Sure, at first it may seem a little tough to not be with him all the time. This has almost become a habit for you and habits are hard to break. But if you work hard enough and remember how healthy this will be for you and for your relationship, I know you'll be able to do it. And, you'll probably be even more thrilled to see and talk to him!
Good luck. I think you're approaching this whole thing very maturely. I hope your boyfriend can do so as well.
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I think you are absolutely right about having a life separate from each other will make you both more happy. Now you just need to get down and do it.
So make plans without him. Dedicate a night to your girlfriends, or hanging out with your sister or mother. Rent a movie you like and he wouldn't want to see. Maybe decide one weekend you'll work on a project like a painting or baking or some such. Keeping yourself busy will help you learn to enjoy yourself separate from him.
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Just tell him you think that you guys spend way too much time together and that it would help your relationship if you took a week off or something from hanging out or whatever. It's really helpful. It will help you realize how much you guys mean to each other. Trust meeee <3
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