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Should we get eloped?
My boyfriend and I are fairly young, but we've been together for a long time. We have been talking about marriage, and both of our families support us and think it's a good idea.
Here is the problem. We're both from different countries. I don't want to have to choose one country over the other, or in other words, one family over the other. Also, I have never really pictured myself having a big wedding. I am pretty shy, and I know making my wedding a huge show would end up being very stressful for me. I would rather have it be a private ceremony between two people that love each other. Also, if we eloped, it would be more affordable.
So does it sound like a good idea? If you're wondering, he is indifferent about how we would get married.
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Why ask us? Shouldn't you be asking you and the people around you if it is a good idea? They're the ones that it will truly matter to.
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Well i know weddings can be stressful but dont u want to share that moment with aunts, uncles, broters, grandma's,grandpa's, cousins, mom, dad, sisters. And your friends?
Ok maybe not
but i would invite some people just not make it a huge thing
have 3 close friends your guy's parents
and thats it
its simple and u both get what you want
just out of curiosity how old are you guys and what 2 countries?
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You should ask yourself: if there were no issue with your families travelling, where and how would you like to get married?
You don't want to elope if that isn't what you want independently of this problem, as you may end up regretting it in later years. From reading your question however, it seems that this is something you'd quite like to do anyway, for a number of reasons - that it's more private, that it's less stressful and that it's more affordable. That it also solves the family issues is a fortunate consequences, and as such, I think it's definitely something you and your partner should look into.
That said however weddings are invariably extremely complicated and some families may be liable to get offended by your decesions, however good your intentions are. If you or your partners family have particularly strong feelings about being invited to the wedding you should discuss it with them first. I'm not suggesting you should allow your families to bully you into a wedding that isn't what you want, merely that you should sit them down and explain the reasons behind your decesion to them beforehand rather than just, say, coming back from Hawaii wearing wedding rings.
Planning weddings is stressful, and it can be difficult to stand up for what you and your partner want in the face of family pressure to have a big or traditional wedding, but your wedding should be your day and it should reflect you and your partners wamt, so be assertive and if you want to elope, do it.
All the best.
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i think you should at least have each others familys there. just like mom and dad or whatever. or have 2 weddings 1 in each country or maybe on a cruise so each family will have to travel
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I got married at the courthouse with just my hubby and our parents. Since we have been married 30 years, I have to say there is nothing wrong with it.
Big weddings with all the hoopla costs someone a lot of money. If it is the couple themselves, it is a pretty stressful thing to start a marriage off being in debt. Since money problems is the number one cause of marital problems, makes no sense to start out that way anyway.
I too shun large crowds, it is your marriage so begin it in a way that makes you both happy.
Now, until you can come to an agreement over where you would live and all that, I wouldn't do anything. Starting a marriage living somewhere you don't agree with is also to much stress to start off with.
Good luck to you. :)
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I know that it is said that your wedding is your day but to a certain extent it is also a day for the families to celebrate your joining together as well and I think it would be sad not to involve them, and it can sometimes cause nasty rifts between you and you families if they feel that they are being excluded from it. What you could do is have a small private wedding and then have a blessing which is a larger more formal event (but it still doesn't need to be huge) at which more of the two families can be involved. A lot of it depends on what money you and your families have available.
I hope everything works out for you both,
Kizlode.
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