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why?
this might be long but i realy have a problem
me and my friend had been best friends since 4th grade and have been there for each other through thick and thin. last year around febuary she moved to a different state.. but we still talked every day. everything was going good up until the middle of october... when i would call her but she wouldnt call back, and shed say she was watching a tv show or was too tired.. well that got old pretty fast, so i sent her something that was like you act like you dont care about me anymore and i get a 'you know i care' we got into a big discussion because whenever we'd talk for a little bit it would be about her... so for a couple weeks we hadnt talked, and then we finally did when i called her and it turned into a hour of crying and saying she still cared. we got off the phone and she said shed call me tomorrow, suprise suprise i didnt get a call. ive tried making casual conversation with her but she is always busy and has to go. then a week later i get a text asking why i havent called her and 'you say im not being a good friend' then it just got into a war and how im making a huge deal out of this... and she turned all of this around to be my fault when i dont think it is.. finally i just told her id have my cell whenever she wanted to talk.
i havent talked to her since and whenever i try to say something shes always like sorry im doing something brb its just stupid and im not sure what to do its like she doesnt want to even be friends with me anymore randomly. she doesnt even im me when were both on... i just dont know what i should do so if anyone has any suggestions let me know... thank you
14/f
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Girl first of all in the beggining you were kind of macking a big deal out of it. but i have to say she is trippin big time! you did the right hthing by telling her how you feel. you call her one more time and if she starrt doing thatt shit again dont call her again because i khnow she dose that she aint no treu friend and of corse ypu could do better.
love me
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Hi There,
As horrible as it may seem she may just want to end the friendship I mean from what you have told us it seems she doesn't care otherwise she wouldn't be putting you through all this. I'm sure you'll find plenty of more friends to hang out with don't worry you are nice sweet person
Anyway Bye for now
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wow this is like the same thinq i went throuqh with my " best friend " when i moved away. lonq distance friendship is hard and takes a lot of time to qet used to. just because you moved doesnt mean she cant continue with her life. give her some time and qive her some space. she is prolly qot alot of thinqs in her hands tryinq to fit in, in school wait til she g
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I think that having a long distance friendship is hard and takes time to get use to. I think you should keep trying b/c if you give up you will lose contact with her all together. Maybe you should find another friend that wont do that to you. I know that she is treating yuou this way and i know that it isnt right. A new friend would help you get through this and give advice and talking to her about might help too. Always start the conversation b/c if you dont do it who will. If you never give up you wont lose.
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There could be all kinds of reasons why she is being aloof. It could be her parents think it would be a good idea if the two of you cooled down on the telephone calls.They may think she should start making fiends where she is. It could be that they think the phone bills are getting to high and they want her to limit her time on the phone. It could be that she is feeling guilty about all of this and doesn't know how to tell you because she thinks it will hurt your feelings. It could be that she is meeting other people and doing things with them which takes up her time, therefore she is out of time and unable to email you as much. There can be all kinds of reason why she is doing what she is doing. One thing I'm sure of and that is she still cares about you. She just doesn't know how to handle whatever it is that is causing the interference. Now as to fault...I think it is the fault of both of you. Neither of you are willing to communicate with the other. An argument can't happen without two people. You both are having expectations of the other and neither of you are fulfilling each other's expectations. Based on the information you've given me, neither of you are talking to each other and explaining what is going on with either of you. You should take the initiative and call her. In your conversation never use the word fault. This word should be banned from the human language. When this word is used everyone looses sight of the true goal of the conversation and simply starts pointing fingers. No one wins when this word is used. If your friend uses it ignore it. No one has told her it should be taboo. Anyway, let her know as you have let us know what is going on from your viewpoint. Ask her point blank if there is anything wrong? Had you done anything to offend her before the big standoff. Tell her how much she means to you and that you are hoping that her new life is filled with new friends and fun. Ask her straight up why she hasn't called you. Don't be accusatory when you do this. Ask her in a sweet little I miss you voice. I guess it boils down to you should be as sweet as possible. Even when she is accusatory. If she becomes accusatory simply reply she has a right to her opinion, but you don't see it that way. Don't disagree with her, but don't agree with her if you don't agree. Now, how can you do this? IT is simple. Use the term "I understand" a lot. Say it anytime she is explaining her feelings (good/bad). Put yourself in her shoes when she is telling her side of things. This is called empathy. You don't have to agree with her conclusions, but you can understand what brought her to them. Then I would slow the phone conversations down to about once or twice a week (unless something special happens). Start making some new friends while you maintain your friendship with your out of state friend. Enjoy life and most of all take care of yourself. Do what is best for you at all times. Good luck.
Namaste,
LULABELLE
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hey ,
this is a big deal!well you could send her emails and do it longer than this and tell her how you feel and then call her and tell her the same thing tell her that you miss her and why she doesnt call you or anyhting like that.I mean i have the problem like that.what you could also tell her is that"why dont you ever call me you say that youll call be but you never call me back so why are you saying stuff that you dont really mean"thats wat you could tell her!well umm g2g but i hope this at least helps you k well good luck with that really big problem.oo ya and its not that long!
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She's probably just got a lot on her mind. Seriously, like I just moved and left all of my friends, and they are constantly calling, IMing, sending me letters & everything. It's nice to know they miss me and stuff, but seriously sometimes I just don't have time to talk. & I don't want to have to explain to them I'm too busy to talk to them because I don't want them to hate me. So I may come off a bit rude.
Although I know what it's like to be in your position. When my friend moved away from me, she did the exact same thing to me, and it really made me mad. Until I moved I didn't realize why she wouldn't keep in touch w/ me. You need to write her a super long letter explaining how you miss how things used to be. Tell her that you think it's unfair the way she's treating you & you want to be happy for her, but at the same time she should have feelings towards you. She should want to talk to you.
Or you could, just give her the cold shoulder for a while. Then see if she talks to you or like misses you so much she NEEDS to IM you and all that stuff.
other then that, just give her some time. she'll come back, no worries.
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