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Can someone please edit my essay? My family won't help and I need this looked over by tonight. o.o If you could bold the edited parts..it would be nice. When I rate you.. html shows. (English is not my subject. I know my grammar sucks) thanx
In the movie, October Sky, a couple of boys are stuck in Colewood and they try to get out in the outside world. The boys form together to try to build a successful rocket but they realize it’s not all that easy and they need help from others. October Sky is based on a true story that Homer Hickman wrote.
Obstacles that the Rocket Boys had to go through were forming the group. Homer didn’t mind having his reputation change by hanging out with the science geek, Quentin. His two friends Roy Lee and O’Dell were hesitant to be seen around him at first. Also, getting the materials wasn’t all that simple, there weren’t many science books in their library and finding the right metals for their rocket took time too.
The mine in Homer’s town represents many things in the movie. One stands for failure for Homer as he wants a life without going under ground. When his father gets injured in an accident, Homer realizes he has to take a job in the mine instead of his brother because he’s going off to college. The rocket dream was nothing but a dream that was slowly fading at that point.
Homer realized his dream to build a rocket when he saw the satellite Sputnik soaring across the night sky. He became fascinated with its movement and speed while others probably thought of it as a moving dot in the dark. He wanted to live out of his small town to experience the world outside and live a life without mining. In order to do that, he needed to build a rocket and get it into the upcoming science fair.
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In the movie, October Sky, a couple of boys are stuck in Colewood and they try to get out in the outside world. The boys join together to try to build a successful rocket, but they realize it’s not all that easy and they need help from others.(extremly run on...you might want to fix that) October Sky is based on a true story written by Homer Hickman.
you need to add a Topic sentence for example
During the movie, the boys faced many obstacles...then build onto that
(not enough deatil on obstacles you named one...you need to add why they had problems forming the group)Obstacles that the Rocket Boys had to go through were forming the group. Homer didn’t mind having his reputation change by hanging out with the science geek, Quentin. His two friends Roy Lee and O’Dell were hesitant to be seen around him at first. Also, getting the materials wasn’t all that simple, there weren’t many science books in their library and finding the right metals for their rocket took time too.(REWRITE THIS PARAGRAPH)
The mine in Homer’s town was a key symbol in the movie. One it represents failure for Homer as he wants a life without going (1 word)underground. When his father gets injured in an accident, Homer realizes he has to take a job in the mine instead of his brother because he’s going off to college. The rocket dream was nothing but a dream that was slowly fading at that point.
NOTE you are swicthing your tensense for present to past you need to make sure that they match up
Homer realized his dream to build a rocket when he saw the satellite Sputnik soaring across the night sky. He became fascinated with its movement and speed while others probably thought of it as a moving dot in the dark. He wanted to live out of his small town to experience the world outside and live a life without mining. In order to do that, he needed to build a rocket and get it into the upcoming science fair.
ok these paragraphs dont go together of flow together at all i would reccomend rewriting this you would probably get a 50...but then again i dont know what grade you are in....but my reccomendation is to rewrite it
good luck!!!
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First it is a great movie its my favorite
heres my editing
October Sky is based on a true story that Homer Hickman wrote. In the movie, October Sky, a couple of boys are stuck in Colewood and they try to get to the outside world. The boys come together and try to build a successful rocket but they realize it’s not all that easy and they need help from others.
Homer realized his dream to build a rocket when he saw the satellite Sputnik soaring across the night sky. He became fascinated with its movement and speed while others probably thought of it as a moving dot in the dark. He wanted to get out of his small town to experience the world outside and live a life without mining. In order to do that, he needed to build a rocket and get it into the upcoming science fair.
Obstacles that the Rocket Boys had to go through were forming the group. Homer didn’t mind having his reputation changed by hanging out with the science geek, Quentin. His two friends Roy Lee and O’Dell were hesitant to be seen around him at first but changed their minds throughout the movie.. Also, getting the materials wasn’t simple; there weren’t many science books in their library and finding the right metals for their rocket took time too.
The mine in Homer’s town represents many things in the movie. First, it stands for failure because he wants a life without going under ground. When his father gets injured in an accident, Homer realizes he has to take a job in the mine instead of his brother because he’s going off to college. The rocket dream was nothing but a dream that was slowly fading at that point.
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Heres your essay with my edits, you'll have to decide if you like you way better or not.. thats all i can do for you
October Sky is based on a true story written by Homer Hickman. In the movie, a couple of boys are stuck in Colewood and they are trying to get out in the outside world. The boys form together to try and build a successful rocket, but they realize it’s not that easy and they need help from others.
One of the obstacles that the Rocket Boys had to go through was forming the group. Homer didn’t mind having his reputation change by hanging out with the science geek, Quentin. His two friends, Roy Lee and O’Dell, were hesitant to be seen around him at first. Also, getting the materials wasn’t all that simple. Finding the right metals for their rocket took time and there weren’t many science books in their library.
The mine in Homer’s town represents many things. One represents the failure for Homer; he wants a life without having to go under ground. When his father gets injured in an accident, Homer realizes he has to take a job in the mine since his brother is going off to college. The rocket dream was nothing but a dream that was slowly fading by that point.
Homer realized his dream to build a rocket when he saw the satellite Sputnik soaring across the night sky. He became fascinated with its movement and speed, but others probably thought of it as a moving dot in the dark. He wanted to live out of his small town, to live a life without mining. He also wanted to experience the outside world In order to do that, he needed to build a rocket and get it into the upcoming science fair.
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