|
i can`t take it anymore.
I've been having alot of problems with my life latley ; and it's all starting to really weigh me down.
1) I was diagnosed with scoliosis the other week. Now I might have to get a brace or even surgery.
2) Today I went to the dentist to get my gums checked out before I got braces on. Turns out my lower gums are weak and I need surgery to fix them. Then I need two permenant teeth pulled then I will finally get my braces on.
3) I'm going to be kicked off of the cheerleading squad cause I will be missing 7 games during my recovery from the surgery. I will also miss several practices with my every other week check-ups on my back.
4) My dad's getting a pay cut in 2 weeks.
5) We're moving.
Since my dad is getting a paycut ; we are watching our budget. Now that I have all these surgerys, and other problems, I will cost my parents over $8,000 in treatments ; check ups ; and surgeries. My mom is constantly reminding me that I'm the one thats costing them so much money. There is nothing I can do about it though! I didn't purposley screw up my back. I didn't all the sudden decided I want weak gums to have to get surgery and cost them thousands of dollars. What do I dO ? I can't take the guilt and pain. The Surgerys are scaring me half to death, my mom isn't helping, and all of my families troubles are my fault. Help is appreciated .. if it's not to much to ask.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Its deffanatly not your fault and your mom should not be putting the blame for this on you.
You could talk to your school councler or you could talk to your doctor about something that you could to to lower the cost of your surdury.
Just remember that none of this is your fault at all and no one should tell you anything different
I hope i've helped cause im kinda new at this and I hope things start looking up
Signed
Morbid
]
Your family stress level is way off the charts. First of all you have to understand, no matter what anyone else tells you none of this is your fault. I'm really concerned that you have a parent that would even consider for a second putting the blame on you. What you need to do is contact your counselor at school. Let them know what is going on for you. They may know of some free family stress counseling that you and your family can go to. Your whole family is suffering and that is why your mother is saying inappropriate things right now. She feels everything is out of control and she has to put the blame on something she can touch, feel, and smell. It helps her cope, in a sense, have something solid to put the blame on (whether it is true or not). Not fair but this is what people do. Trying to confront her with her irrational behavior may exasperate the situation instead of settling it. She may be someone who, while under stress, can't think rationally. That's the reason for the counseling. If you cannot get your family to attend counseling then you need to see to it that you do. This will help you to deal with the stress. Your father may be taking pay cuts, but does he still have health insurance for the family? If this is something that is not covered by his health insurance or if it is and the $8000 is the co pay (wow) you can contact some free clinics in your area. They usually operate on ability to pay basis. If they can't do your operations personally they will have recommendations as to where you can go to get some of these costs cut. What is important here is that you find ways to reduce your stress level. You will come through your operations with greater success and recovery if you are more emotionally stable. Your family is highly dysfunctional right now so you cannot find solace here. As much as we here on Advicenators would love to solve all problems, we can't in one short answer. It just doesn't work that way. Please seek outside consultation somewhere. You can find it in a friend of the family (preferably an adult), extended family member (grandparent, uncle, aunt), churches are full of people who are willing to help out and some of them are psychologists/psychiatrists. Sometimes these people will donate their time for church members. Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. Good luck!
Namaste,
LULABELLE
]
I know your situation. I have the same back problem but i didnt have to have surgery. The best thing is to relax and these kinds of things are things in life that test you. They will work out. What if they did one surgery at a time instead of both at the same time. There are programs where you can get insurance for that type of thing that way you only pay payments. I pretty sure there something like that around somewhere. Your right this isnt your fault and you shouldnt blame yourself and feel guilty. My family is going through a similar struggle sometimes it is hard to get by i mena me and my brother are in college we had to go to JCC so we could get in free and that is a good idea. Well i work a job and i sometimes have to lown my mom money to buy groceries or whatever. The thing i do is pray. He hears me and he makes things ok for us. Maybe if you did the same maybe you woul dget the same results as me.
]
Holy crap I'm so sorry. I feel really bad and I really feel that if I could donate some money to you I would. Oh wow.... Yeah maybe try to work someplace that doesnt require much work but you can still earn money. Also talk to like a school consuler or something about these problems. Im soooo sorry
]
I'm sorry about the scoliosis and all of the other problems that you have. Your parents have to understand that it ISN'T your fault that you need surgeries! they shouldn't take it out on you. All I can tell you to do to make you feel better is to PRAY, it helps me a lot with my life. When I pray to god about a problem in my life, he answers it, I feel so relieved and happy after I pray. I hope I helped. (THIS IS IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON'T THEN TRY COUNSELLING (SP?) AND A LONGGGGGGGGGGGGG TALK WITH YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THE SITUATION THAT YOU ARE IN)
]
Your family troubles aren't your fault. Your parents must have been wayy stressed out to blame it all on you. Like you said, it's not your fault your back needs surgery or your teeth need to pulled, etc. When they chose to have children, they chose to take on the responsiblity of raising children, knowing full well that there are risks and such. It's not your fault, so don't take it too hard.
If you're missing so much cheerleading practice, then you shouldn't worry too much about being kicked off. Talk to your coach, if you're going to be kicked off, know that it wasn't because of your abilities, more because you dont have the time.
I don't know if this helps much, but i want you to know that your mom shouldnt blame/remind you that you 'cost them so much money'. Don't feel guilty about it.
]
More Questions: |