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in love with 2 guys...long term boyfriend?or high school cru
I am a 25 year old female with a huge life decision to make.I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. And i love him with all my heart, he's pretty close to being perfect. Hes kind, caring, smart, athletic, he's the whole package. And of chorse im not satisfied. My problem is, i still have a crush on my high school crush...i know it sounds silly because high school was 8 years ago for me, but yes there has not been a single day since high school where i have not thought about him in some way. After high school we kept in touch at college for about a year, and after that we kinda lost touch. But that didnt stop me from thinking about him all the time. I always compared every guy to him, and every guy i dated i always told myself if "Bob" (my high school crush) were to ever come to me and say he wanted to be with me i would breakup with whomever i was with and date him. About 2 and a half years ago me and "bob" found each other again. We began talking again, it was like we never lost touch, we picked up where we left off. The problem was that i had a boyfriend whom i really care about and love. "bob" on the other hand was single. And since i already believe that him and i are soulmates i thought that was a sign, because he is so gorgous that him being single wasn't bound to last long. Just like high school every female that lays eyes on him instantly is drawn to him. I have opted not to tell him my feelings because of my boyfriend. Him and i still talk on occassion, and maybe once or twice a year we hang out and catch up on "life". I have found out from sources that he too once had a crush on me in high school. And when we do see one another he always asks if i still have a boyfriend and when he finds out i do, he asks if im happy, and if i see a future with me and my boyfriend. He has been in and out of a few relationships, but i know the time is going to come soon when he thinks he has found the person he wantst to spend the rest of his life with, and when that happens i would have lost my chance to tell him anything forever. And this just kills me because i want him so badly. I want to be able to tell him everything on my mind. I want to tell him that i love him...yes i do love him, but i cant tell him that cause its not fair to my boyfriend. But at the same time this is just killing me inside. All i want to do is just get everything out in the open so i can have a sense of relief. Im curious how he would respond to my feelings. i truely believe he is my soulmate, i have always been drawn to him. i believe he is the person im suppose to marry. Whenever i have dreams of him (which are often) i try to hurry and go back to sleep just so i can be with him. What do you suggest? am i crazy? is this jsut a silly crush?...well i dont think its just a crush because the crush evolved to me loving him....and you see the reason wny i never told my crush my feelings when i was single was because i am really shy, and i thought that he was too perfect for me and that he could have any girl he wanted so why would he choose me....and i use to push him away big time a few years back because i was affraid of my feelings for him, and i was affraid of getting hurt if i told him. But now i feel an almost need to tell him my feelings just so i can get on with my life. What do i do? please suggest....
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you should tell him your feelings, but you shouldnt drop your man. he came at the rong time. ya, you probly will be able to get on with your life after you tell him. but inless you two are truly just friends afterword, you probly shouldnt see him, sence it would be out in the open. and if you have had a boyfriend for 5 years, there's gotta be something to that. you shouldnt ruin it for a highschool crush. hope i helped
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Your boyfriend deserves someone who feels about him like you feel about Bob. Tell Bob your feelings and see how he reacts. That will let know if he feels the same way about you. But please don't do anything until you've left your boyfriend move on. Good Luck!
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You're not truly happy if you're with someone who you don't like as much as someone else. Sure it may not be fair to your current boyfriend if you say something to Bob, but neither is living everyday thinking about Bob, and about how you'd rather be with Bob. This is one of those decisions where if you make it, and it hurts someone else, it really isn't selfish and unfair. You need to be fully happy with who you're with for them to be fully happy, so if I were you I would say something to Bob.
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Okay, there's a big difference between having a crush on someone, loving someone, and being compatible with someone. I'm going to pose a question to you that I want you to really seriously think about. One of my very good friends asked me the same question about a year ago and it is a huge part of what helped me get into the relationship that I am still in today, which is a very happy one. Are you attracted to him physically or emotionally? Don't answer it right away and think about it for both guys. Think about it a lot. Physical attraction and emotional attraction are very different from each other. Love is having a deep connection with someone that can take quite a bit of time to build. You can love the way someone looks and the way someone acts, but to love someone means to love their mind. Love is loving someone's personality, their values, their thoughts, their beliefs, and what they know. "Just like high school every female that lays eyes on him instantly is drawn to him." That right there tells me that you are attracted to Bob because he is good looking and maybe a little bit because you "can't have him". You are really overrating him in your mind. I'm not saying that you don't like him emotionally or that you don't love him, but you are focusing in on physical attraction, which is not a good thing. The most important thing in a RELATIONSHIP is compatibility. You can love someone to death, but be completely incompatible with them. Don't throw away your happiness with the amazing guy that you're with. There is no such thing as a "soulmate" or "the one". Crushes come and go, love can even come and go sometimes. There are so many people out there that you could end up with that you would be completely happy with for the rest of your life. Fantasies aren't quite the same when you actually live them. Be thankful and glad with what you have, because even though there are other options out there, you KNOW that you one you have is a keeper. If you separate and go off with Bob, maybe you'll be happy together, but if you aren't your current bf probably won't and really, sad to say, should not take you back. It's okay to think about Bob and fantasize about him and wonder what it would be like to be with him, but don't throw away the dream you have for a dream that might not come true. <3
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Well for startes your not crazy. I'm was and am in the same place that you are in. I have always thought of my high school crush and I tryed to find him but couldn't. But your crush is there. If I were you I would tell Bob how you feel about him.After you tell him you might be able to move on with your new boyfriend. Everyone told me that your suppose to be with the one the is your soulmate. But I don't think that is true. Hope I helped.
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go and at least talk to the one from HS, I mean, if you have been thinking about him ever day, then you have to go and see him! because if you go with the other guy then you will still be wondering about HS-dude. You can go and visit the HS-dude as a friend. and just ask him if he still has feelings.
Gotta go to school- I'll add more later!
Please leave feedback and tell me what you want me to add more of!
-Kellzie<3
:)
I hope I helped!!
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