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Boyfriend
Okay.... I have a big question and I dont know what to do.. sooo.. Okay. My mom has this problem that she wont let me date anyone thats 16 and older. I am 14 right now. I was melested when I was 12 by my brothers friend who was 18 at the time. So my mom is paranoid about me having older boyfriends. I think she needs to get through her mind that not ALL guys are the same. She thinks that older guys are more "experienced". So there is this guy. I told my mom alooot about him and I told her that he was a sophmore and he was 15. But then I found out that he was 16!! And like an idiot I told my mom. Now... I like him sooooo much!!!!!!!! He wants to ask me out. What should I say? I like him alot but the thing is is that Ill have to keep it a secret from my mom.
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He sounds nice and he could be okay...but you never know about these kinds of guys. I think its okay to have a boyfriend whose like a year older than you. But alot of tims boys do try to date younger girls since they are 'less experienced" and would do whatever the guy told them too. Alot of girls feel "cooler" going out with an older guy which is why guys prefer younger girls rather than older girls or girls their age. But there are those rare older boys who are genuinely good people. I think you should talk to your mom. Tell her that you are fourteen, youre older than when you got molested, and youre wiser. This 16 year old boy you like is NOT the kid who molested you, hes a whole different person and he desserves a chance. Ask your mom if you can hang out with him in a group of friends and then see how he acts with you and I think you are old enough to tell whats right from wrong from there. :)
~Johanna
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Just explain to her why and maybe invite him over so she can get to know him and will probably let you date him if hes as good as you think he is.
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tell your mom that you like him alot and that he cares about you too and just because hes 16 doesnt mean he'll hurt you and she can meet him if she wants and if she approves you can go out with him and if she doesnt then youll stay friends only friends
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Your mom has every right to be paranoid, but she also needs to really keep an open mind about who you date.
If this guy is into you then you should have him go out on a line and talk to your mother and tell her what his intentions are with you. She'll probably feel a lot more better once she meets him and they sit down and talk. She can get to know him and feel a lot more open to you guys having a relationship.
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Ask him if he would have a problem if your first few dates were at your house with mom getting to know him.
If he is okay with that then approach your mom with it. Tell her he is willing to let her get to know him before you actually leave the house on a date.
Be sure and let your guy know why you need to do this. Otherwise he will just think your mom is goofy.
You also need to have a talk with mom. Tell her you understand her feeling the way she does, but that there are plenty of guys under the age of 16 who can hurt you too. Age isn't really the problem.
When it come right down to it, you are the one who has to learn to trust guys again. You do that in your own way. Good luck, hope it works out for you. :)
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I could see where your mom is coming from not allowing you to date a guy that is much older. Or, a little older in your case.
Talk to your mom and try to convince her not to place judgement on someone when she doesn't even know him. Invite him for dinner so he can get to know your parents and your parents can get to know him. There is really no harm in that.
He is an entire YEAR older than what your mom wants. A year. You were molested when you were 12 by your BROTHER'S friend. Now, I'm hoping your brother is not a sick pervert. He's older, he's **HOPEFULLY** Not like his friend, your mother trusts him.
Say to your mom, "Before you start judging him and saying that he's more experienced, and that he's going to be like every other guy, would you PLEASE just sit with him and TALK to him and get to know him? He's a really great guy and I ::emphasize on the I:: trust him and I know he won't do anything to hurt me like that other boy did. Not all guys are the same. [insert brother's name here] isn't like that other boy, [insert name of male friend here] isn't like them. You can't judge a guy on what you think his actions will be because of his age. What's gonna happen when I turn 15? And then 16? And then 17? Will I have to date guys that are 14 and 15? No, that's not right. I'm sure there are just as many boys at 14 and 15 as 'experienced' as any other guy would be, but that doesn't mean [insert boy you like's name here] is like them."
She really is NOT being far to you, nor to this boy you like. My boyfriend and I started dating when I was 14 and he was 16. He's now going on 18 and I'm 16. He and most of his friends were the least experenced people I have ever met. I was more experienced than him!!
Just talk to her and try to make her understand that he's not like that guy.
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if you truley want my opinion email me at wingly369@yahoo.com
i would be glad to help i just want to have you email me so i know i u actually get my advice
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You aer absolutely right...not all guys are like the one that did that to you. You need to see this in your mom's point of view and then yours. Ask yourself...why doesn't my mom want me going out with older guys. You'll find yourself answering the same thing I'm going to tell you. OBVIOUSLY, YOUR MOM CARES ABOUT YOU! Not trying to be rude or anything but your mom has her right to say that older guys are more experienced because they are that is so true but now you also need to talk to your mom and tell her that you love this kid and she doesnt see your way then you just have to hide it from her because thats wut i do!
I HOPE I HELPED!
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