|
i dont have friends
every friend i have, i talk about, except one who is a grade younger than me. i talk good things about her but sometimes she can really make me mad and sometimes i get teased cause shes only in 6th grade and i need to "get some friends my own age". there this girl i really like in my grade but im like the only person in my skewl that likes her, and im trying to fit in so i pretend i dont really like her. i talk about everyone. its really bad! im a real bitch. i want a best friend. its pathetic!
please tell me what i can do. thank you
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Heya babe. From what you posted, it seems to me like you might be saying that you want to change. If so, that's wonderful. You feel like you have to be fake and mean in order to fit in with everyone around you. But I bet you're not a mean person inside. So is that the problem? You want true friendship, and you want to surround yourself with nice people, but at the same time you want to be socially accepted. I understand that.
When I was your age, I got picked on a lot. The popular crowd either hated me, or just ignored me, depending on the day. But I had really great friends, who made me smile. So it was all worth it to me. If I could go back and be different, possibly change myself so that I could have been popular, I wouldn't do it. I'm happy with my experiences, and the lovely friends that I had.
My advice to you is to take some time and think. Really imagine yourself, in the life that you wish you had. If you see yourself having true friendships with people, then that's what you should aim for. All you have to do, is tell yourself that you want real friendships, and not the fake ones that do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve better than that. And there are people out there who deserve to have you as a friend, as long as you can change your way of thinking and be nicer. Which I know you can do, because you sound like a sweet girl.
Oh, and if you really like the girl in your grade that everybody else seems to not like, then be her friend anyway. Don't let other people's opinions stop you from being friends with people that you care about. You'll end up missing out on some really great times with people who care about you and love you for who you truly are on the inside. Good luck darling, I really hope you find yourself, and some true friends that can make you smile. Best wishes.
]
Are you reading what you just typed?! The reason why you can't get any friends is because people obviously see that you have a repuatation to talk about people behind their backs!
SO if I were you I'd stop talking about people behind their backs and start being nice!
X_Amanda_X
]
I'd tell you my advice, but you never asked a question.
You sound like a really horrible person. As soon as I saw that you were good friends with someone unpopular and wanted to hide that, I've decided you are the queen of bitches. You are in 7th grade, not like it will ever make a difference what grade you are in, but once you *hopefully* grow up, you will *again, hopefully* find out that having good friends is far better than popularity.
I can't believe she is still your friend. I wouldn't be, that's for sure. If you want to make good friends, stop working so hard to be popular, and focus on (oh boy this is a tough one) YOUR FRIENDS.
]
Trying to fit in ends up being just a huge humiliating mistake. Theres really nothing wrong with befriending a girl that doesn't have a lot of friends. You have to think of it this way, what if you were that girl that didn't have friends? What if nobody in the school liked you? Would you at least want a friend? Would you want one that pretended to be your friend? Definetly not. You'll never make friends by forcing yourself into a group of people that aren't like you, or by making fun of someone or pretending not to like them to impress the group. Sure, they'll laugh at what you say and think you're the funnest person in the world, but do you ever think that maybe behind your back, they'd be talking about you? Of course. You have to know that if you want people to like you, do these things:
1. Never talk about people badly, even if the people that can hear you have no idea who you're talking about. They get an idea of who you are just by hearing you.
2. When somebody needs help, help them, even if people don't like that person. That person needs someone too. And its just respectful.
3. Compliment people. When you see that someone is wearing something you really like, tell them! It makes that person's day even if you don't think so!
Remember, if you follow those steps, you won't have any hatrid on you, and people will really like you for who you are. Most importanly, do not start or act like you are going to get in a fight. That goes along with no gossip!
-TheTeenGirl
]
you should be friends with who you want to be friends with. don't let anyone decide who your friends are no matter what they say. if you want to be friends with her, then go for it & if not juss talk to her about it.
-hope that helped!♥
]
I did sorta the same thing... but not really. I don't go to public school, but you get the idea.
I get teased ALL the time. Sweetie, I know that it sucks. It hurts, it's just cruel. But that fact is not going to stop the teasing. There are basically two things you can do :
Option one : Be who you are, like who you want to like, go out with who you want to go out with, dress how you want to dress, hang out with who you want to hang out with.
PROS : You'll have the time of your life, you'll not regret anything, you'll have TRUE friends and real fun.
CONS : You might get teased, you might not be as popular.
Option two : Do what the "in-crowd" is doing, follow the popular people, make fun of people etc.
PROS : you have a better chance of not being teased and a better chance of being popular.
CONS : You will be a "slave" to the media. You'll be forced to do what everyone else is doing to maintain your status, you will probably never have a best friend.
I went through the phase where I wanted to make everyone happy, I wanted to fit in you know. But the "cool kids" didn't like me. At all. But the "outcasts" did like me. So I bucked up, and decided that I wanted to do what I wanted, wear what I wanted, hang out with who I wanted etc. Still do.
While I only have three "real" friends, those are the best friends I've ever had. One of them is my boyfriend, one is like my sister, the other is just a good guy friend. But I trust these people with my life - literally.
No one is perfect, everyone will make you mad once in a while.
I have friends that are in seventh grade, and I'm a freshman - do I care? No! They and I aren't really good friends, but we talk, E-mail and stuff. If you like the girl that's a year younger than you, then I say hang out with her. If you like that girl who's in your grade, I say hang out with her and get to know her - you never know what one smile and a friendly greeting will do for someone. You could even save someone from killing themselves with a smile and a kind word.
Just remember that while you may be popular in middle school (you're in eighth, right?), when you go into high school, none of them even give a care about your formal social status. Really, I would know. Yeah. And if you make it to the "popular group" in high school, that only lasts four years. Four years, is that worth it? Because after that you're a nobody again. Everyone has different interests and will go to different colleges. None of those guys in your college are going to care about your formal social status either.
You make the choice.
-FunnyCide
]
More Questions: |