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What do guys look for in a girl? It seems like all the guys go for the sluts and they don't want an actual relationship.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This is an awfully hard question to answer. Because the truth is, most guys - particularly in their teens - aren't really READY for an actual relationship.
Now, to be fair, that's not true for *every* guy. Some are more mature than others, after all. The problem is figuring out which are the mature ones, and that can be hard to do.
My *guess* is that the smarter a boy is, the better chance he has of being mature enough for a relationship - but that's definitely not a guarantee. There are some awfully smart people who are TERRIBLY immature.
So it comes down to your own judgment. If a boy seems to be thoughtful, and considerate, there's at least a chance that he may be ready for a real relationship. But you can never be 100% sure, because life doesn't work that way.
To be fair to boys, you can't really put all the blame on them. There are a number of factors involved.
One is that boys really do mature more slowly than girls, in many ways - particularly emotionally.
Another is that hormonally, teenage boys are in overdrive. Girls are, too, but nowhere NEAR as much as boys (of course there are always exceptions). It's hard for boys to think clearly when they're thinking about sex - and they think about sex nearly ALL the time.
Honestly.
Our culture, too, shares some of the blame. Advertisers and pretty much everyone in the media target teenagers as one of the groups with the most disposable income; and they know that the one sure way to get the attention of a teenage boy is with sex, in some form.
Our culture is saturated with sex. Not that there's anything WRONG with sex, mind you; it's wonderful. But it's being *used* on TV, in films, in music and magazines, to sell stuff. And that encourages boys to think of women as nothing more than sexual objects.
Once you get a boy thinking that way, he'll be a better target for advertising for life. Unfortunately, he's likely to be stuck thinking of woman as sex objects for the rest of his life, too - or at least, he'll have that tendency.
I'm not saying that there's an evil group of advertisers and pop culture producers who sit around planning to corrupt and ruin the world's boys. Not at all. They've just found out what works to sell products, and they're doing it. Unfortunately the side effects either don't matter to them, or they're not even aware of them.
It's also interesting that more and more, some girls are buying into the idea that their whole worth is based on their *value* as sex objects. So they become "sluts", as you put it. They're as victimized as the boys are! Both end up with damaged self-images and are handicapped in their ability to have an adult relationship for the rest of their lives.
This is kind of depressing to talk about, to be honest. It makes me feel old. But I don't want to leave you with NO hope. There *are* boys out there who have the potential to relate to you in a mature way. I've been out of the high-school scene for a long time, but I'd guess that it's still true that the ones to look for are the ones who are a little shyer, a little more intellectual, a little more thoughtful. Some of them, to be brutally honest, are geeks.
It's important to remember that even those boys with potential are still BOYS, which means that it's smart to take things slowly - when boys start moving fast they tend to think less and make mistakes. At which point it's easy for them to snap back into sex-object mode, and do something stupid, or thoughtless.
I'll be very honest. I never did ANY dating in high school (the first girl I really dated was my wife, much later). So my view is totally an outsider's one. But over the years I've observed and thought about this issue a LOT. And my conclusion is that it's certainly possible for teens to have a worthwhile, meaningful relationship - but it's not easy.
On the other hand, maybe the thing to do is jump in and have fun. You're only a teen once, after all. Don't let worrying about finding the perfect relationship stop you from having SOME fun!
I didn't start dating until my 30s. To tell you the truth, now that I know what it's like, I really wish I'd started a lot earlier. So be careful, but please don't miss out the way that I did. I eventually did start dating, got married, and have a wonderful little boy now, but sometimes it does make me sad to think of the 17 years that I wasted, and the opportunities that I let slip through my fingers.
Life can be a tough balancing act; you need to find a way to make the most of it, without screwing up and making irredeemable mistakes. Sometimes I wonder how any of us make it through unscarred.
But of course we don't. We all have our share of scars. The point is to have the good choices outweigh the bad, I guess. And to know, at the end of the day, that you did your best to make every hour, every *minute* of it worthwhile.
Good luck!
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Guys make act that way... but tust me all they want is sexual stuff from the girl... so don't lower yourself to their level. Stay the same you you've always been. In the long run they will want a real girl, a real relationship not just a slut who can give them what they want for 10 minutes then be done. hope i heleped!
Stay beautiful! stay you!
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Thats true most guys go for sluts because its easy and guys are lazy. Some are not and do look for other girls. Personally i dont like girls who sleep around. for what guys like look at this
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Guys are weird when it comes to this. It really depends on the type of guy. Not all guys go for the "slutty" type of girls, but a lot do. That's their problem. When they're with a "slut" it usually doesn't work out because they run around on their boyfriends. So yah, they'll get sex out of it but they won't have an actual relationship. Boys only like these type of girls for one reason, sex. It's not the type of girl they would bring home to mom.
♥ Krissy
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