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I have a friend who is over weight and is always saying Im so fat!! Even though she kind of is I dont want to be mean so I say no your not.I dont want to keep lieing to her but I dont want to just say Yeah you are.How can I just make her stop saying she is fat and ugly without hurting her feeling.I rate high..PS If we say something mean to her she freaks out and says omg I cant belive you just said that.
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wow...i have the exact type of friend and the way i got her to stop is...i said to her "ya know when you call your self fat and put your self down it gets really annoying so can you please stop saying it" now she stoped saying it so maybe you should try saying something like that to your friend...never tell her she is fat b/c she might go and stop eating...so try telling her that it gets annoying when she says it
i hope this helps please tell me what happens!!
<3samXoXsam
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You are absolutely right not to just be nice and tell her she isn't overwieght. Next time she goes on about how fat she is just agree with her.
Good responses to the "I'm soooo fat" whine include "Yea, so what are you gonna do about it?" or "That can't be a nice way to feel."
You can't solve her problem for her, but you aren't helping her by lying to her either. If she keeps whining or getting angry with you, you might simply want to resort to saying "I don't want to talk about this with you" because you just can't get anywhere with someone who only wants to whine and complain and be comforted but not take any action to accept themselves or improve themselves.
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Just say to her "I don't think you are, I've seen people ten times bigger than you, you look fine to me." Tell her if she has a problem with her size, then she needs to do something about it instead of complaining about it. Say that saying that you're fat isn't going to shead any pounds. She needs to work at it- Work out, eat healthy. Complaining isn't going to get her anywhere. You need to tell her to do something about it.
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Hmm.. Well if it were me, it might go something like this:
Her: I'm so fat!
Me: Well, if you're unhappy with yourself, I guess you need to either change it, or just accept it and learn to like yourself the way you are.
If she asks for help on losing weight, don't tell her to diet. Tell her to exercise. Dieting will lead to more weight gain in the long run (and can be unhealthy), exercise is healthy and promotes real fat loss.
If she keeps whining, and she won't exercise to do something about it, I would tell her that she needs to stop whining and just learn to be herself and not worry about size.
If all this fails and she still whines, you did your best. That's when you might just say... "Yeah, I guess you are kind of fat, thanks for pointing that out, I never would have noticed." ;-)
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The next she says that, say that she shouldn't care what she looks like because she is a wonderful person or that you like her just the way she is..
if she keeps asking it she is just fishing for compliments from you
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What you could say is that she needs to get into shape , to stay fit,and healthy.Recommend that she should go to a gym to workout and go running on the machines they have and go somewhere like Bally Total Fitness which is where I go so I could stay nice and fit.But you cannot tell her she's fat of course because you don't want to hurt her feelings and how thoughtful of you!What is best for her to go to a gym near where she lives so she doesn't have to travel far.
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Hmmm...The next time she says it ask her why she puts herself down all the time? Tell Her that you like her just the way she is. Ask her if she really thinks she's fat does she want to go outside and go for a run or fo situps?
What I have observed over the past few years is that when someone says they're ugly or fat(even if they're not), they want other people to tell them that they're beautiful. Most of the time they are insecure about their appearance and need reassuring. STOP ressuring her and offer her alternatives
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Tell her how you feel because you can't get someone to know how you feel unless you let them know whats bothering you. And if she still does it or says your mean then she's not a godd friend. Tell her all this time you could have said so many things but you didn't because you care.
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