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An old friend become enemy
So I'm heading out on a family vacation in a little while. There's someone where we're going who, well, my g/f a few years back cheated on me with this guy across the hall from where I was sleeping (and the week afterwards) at a mini HS reunion with a bunch of friends. In other words, he stabbed me in the back to get laid.
Now, I'm not exactly afraid of seeing him... though I'm not sure how it would turn out if we did come into contact. Anyway, he's the kind of person who (at least 3 years ago) would have the attitude that he did nothing wrong and it's my fault. I haven't exactly talked to him since then, but I just wanna hear some people's thoughts on how you would react to different situations (my co-workers tell me to go sleep with his gf if he has one, but I'm just not interested in something like that). Part of me want to utterly destroy him, part of me wants him to apologize so this isn't between us anymore.
The other thing is, even though it's been over 3 years, part of me misses her, even to the point where I tried contacting her (didn't work). It's not like I want to get back with her, I just want to, I dunno, try to be friends or something. Any thoughts on that?
(Note: rude responses accepted - they're funny. Lame "I don't know but I hope it goes well good luck" responses are a waste of time and bandwidth.)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Since the girl is no longer an issue You can be civil with the guy if you like but I certainly wouldn't apologise. You aren't the one at fault. If anyone apologises it should be him. If you don't like him just ignore him as best you can. No sense in fighting someone over a girl who is no longer in the picture. I wouldn't trust him at all however!
If you ever get in contact with the girl and want to be friends I see nothing wrong with that.
She may not want to, but then again if its been 3 years she may not mind. You should definitely try.
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anonymous -
The way I like to see it is that although there has been some hostility between you two in the past, I wouldn't let it get to the point where it influences your behavior or present life in the least bit.
What he did was unacceptable and unforgiveable, and if I were you, I'd leave it at that. I mean, he betrayed your trust, what are the odds of him being a good guy the next time around?
What I'd suggest is that if you ever did come into contact with him, don't speak to him unless he speaks to you. And if he speaks to you, don't shit talk to him or beat him up, etc. Leave what happened in the past in the past. Although he may be an enemy now, it is no reason to treat him any less of a person. See it this way, be grateful that he betrayed you. You learned that he was a jackass in the end, and it only made you grow stronger.
As for the ex-girlfriend, I know you miss her, but if you do see her again, most likely those ol' feelings will bubble up again, which can lead to you getting hurt again. Just ask yourself, is it worth it?
Good luck dude :)
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hmm lets see if I cant help. im trying to be a christian youth pastor so here goes nuthing. The best thing to do is sit down and have a serious conversation with your ex. tell her how you feel. if you cant get a hold of her send her a letter. You can even talk to her parents. as for the guy your going to have problems with him. as a human id say avoid him altogether but as a christian i have to say tell him what he did was wrong and try your best to avoid a fight.
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okay. closure. you need closure both with the girl and the guy. now it may be hard to talk to the guy without spitting on him or something, but do you best to be realy polite. As for the girl, just see how shes doing, whether or not you bring up the incedent is up to you, but i suggest not unless she does. Just talk to them, get all your questions out, and everyhing you need to say out. closur, my friend, is what you seem to need. i mean im here if you need nething else, i mean something similar happened to me only i didnt know the guy. so just ask me nething if you need it because i feel you.
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Since both the other guy and your g/f betrayed you, it will take a lot for them to regain your trust. I wouldn't apologize since it wasn't your fault. If you can go on being friends without an apology from them, go for it. I only suggest you watch closely for signs they're going to repeat their actions.
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