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Finding a true friend for a married couple
What can a married couple do to find an honest friend when no family lives anywhere near them? And the catch is, one spouse is disabled, early 40s, while the other spouse is in the late 30s. The married couple lives in a bad neighborhood where people are prejudiced against your skin color (i.e. "I don't talk to _____ people.") so making friends with neighbors is impossible. Both have bad credit & can't move at the drop of a hat. They're also not in "the middle class". Due to disability, one spouse ends up feeling jailed at home while the other spouse is at work. The one working spouse is then forced to due all the driving after a long hard day at work, and the same working spouse has to do all the housework. Both spouses don't drink and don't like bars, and the zoo in their city is horrible. With both spouses not sharing the same religion, where is this couple supposed to go to find honest friends without driving the one working spouse to the point of exhaustion? What kinds of clubs is the married couple supposed to go to when the disabled spouse can't sit or stand for a long time? Scrabble clubs require you to sit for a long time. It is socially difficult for one spouse to be in a wheelchair and have the other spouse pushing, and have people give you the time of day. Taking buses with this situation is impossible, as the disabled person is thought of as having less worth than an animal, because "they're holding up the rest of the passengers". With the one disabled spouse being sick, it is difficult for both spouses to be out all day Saturday searching for friends, as the sick spouse will have to usually return home due to illness. There does not seem to be a friendsfornicemarriedpeople.com site, so where does this couple go for honest friends? Being able to go to someone's house and pet their dog would be a blessed gift, as it takes away some pain. The only catch is, the couple cannot have a dog in their apartment.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
How about visiting and maybe reading to older people in a nursing home? I know they are much older but a result could be making friends with the staff members, and the family members of those they visit with. Not to mention that some of the elderly are in kind of the same boat. A lot of them are stuck in the home because their relatives kind of park them there and forget about them. All parties would benefit.
Could the wheelchair bound person maybe be of help to a younger person with a disability similar? It may be hard for a young person to adjust. They may benefit from the experiences of someone whose been there. Young people can make good friends too. They also have parents who could be friends.
See if there is an organization in your area called Resource Center for Independent Living, or something similar. They give rides to handicapped people so they might get out more.
There are quite a few things they can do. Some of them may require a little volunteer work but they will be out there meeting people. Hope this helped you a little, or at least maybe gave you some ideas! :)
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As Michele said, volunteer work will definitely help out.
Check out the local library. Libraries often have classes or activities where you can have fun and meet people.
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Hi, I hear you, and understand what you are saying, and I do have some suggestions. And your last statement gave me an idea. But first, here is my suggestion. The disabled spouse will feel much better if he/she is doing something useful, making a difference, and doing important work. He/she needs to find some volunteer work to do. Even though that spouse cannot drive, if you both work together, to find some volunteer work, that your spouse could do, during the day, while you are at work. You could drive disabled spouse there and pick up on return. There are all kinds of places that need volunteers, even if they are in a wheelchair. Senior centers, nursing homes, food banks, family shelters. BOy scouts. (THey can't discriminate, I have gotten young disabled girls, volunteer work at girl scouts)There are senior day care centers, that families bring their seniors to each day, a place like that just needs people to spend time with the seniors. Sitting or standing won't matter. And for sure, the facilities will be handi cap access. Hospitals are another option and they are handi cap friendly. Here is a website that matches volunteers with opportunities. www.volunteermatch.org You can go in and input your statistics, and location and they will match the spouse with a group that needs volunteers.
Now, through volunteering, the disabled spouse will feel better about themselves, because they are contributing. And when we are thinking about others and helping and making a difference, we tend to forget our own troubles, and even pain can become a distant thought, no longer consuming us. AND through volunteering through this agency, you can meet nice people who are worth making friends with. People who won't care what color your skin is, or what religion or care about disabilities. YOu will meet VERY NICE people, like yourselves, because volunteers are wonderful people, they are angels, and they are needed, wanted, appreciated, treasured, thanked over and over.
I guarantee that this will work for you both. It has the potential to change your lives for the better. Oh yes, your last statement about pets, maybe you could volunteer at a dog pound or at the humane society, or even at a veternarian office. You might even find a place that would be willing to pick up the disabled volunteer in case a full day of volunteering is too much.
After a few weeks, the disabled volunteer will have so much new things happening in his/her life, that he/she will be chatting away, and the other spouse will wish for the days when their lives weren't so full. (not really) Even if one spouse is not too sure about this, I STRONGLY urge you to use gentle persuasion to get the person into some volunteer situation.
Now it may take some searching on your part to find just the right situation. The best fit so to speak. But don't give up. I work with nonprofit agencies in Waterbury CT, and I can't think of one that would turn down a person who wants to volunteer. Check your city, I am sure that there are non-profit agencies that could use some help from both of you. You will both grow from the experience.
I hope you take my advice. I know that it can change your lives.
GOod luck to both of you.
MIchele
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I found a site that might be helpful in how to go about making friends when you are disabled.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I hope it helps
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