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NEEDED: Good advice about "Over-protective Mother"
Alright, I am 16 and I live with my twin sister, my 19 year old brother, and my mom. She has always been pretty overprotective, especially after my dad died of brain cancer. But recently it has gotten uncontrollable. She makes up stupid excuses so I can't go hang out with my best friend. She acts like she doesn't trust me but when I ask her why she doesn't she doesn't give a reason. I have a feeling that the reason she doesn't want me going places is because she doesn't want me growing up so fast. I am going to be a Junior in High school this year and then I will be graduating in 2007 and going to college. She needs to understand that I am becoming more independent and will be an adult soon. She even went as far as keeping me from getting my liscence until I finally was able to convince her to allow me to get it. If anyone has any advice for me about how I can get my mom to give me more indepedence and actually try to listen to my side of the view.
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This was extRemely well put; I'm veRy impRessed.
To be honest, I'm soRt of speechless on this one.
Have you tRied telling heR EXACTLY this??? It's sinceRe, to the point, and makes COMPLETE sense. Is she this stRict with youR bRotheR and sisteR too??? SuRely they feel the exact same way as you, so peRhaps the thRee of you can join foRces and sit down with heR and hold a matuRe, calm, educated conveRsation. Be blunt and completely honest, without being Rude.. as you can see how and why she would feel this way; but it DOES seem to ME that she is oveRReacting.
I'm soRRie I can't be moRe help to you, but I Really DO wish you and youR family the best.
Take caRe.
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Well your mother is going through a tough time right now with the recent death of your father. Try to console her.I know it's gotta be tough for you but like my mother said "Its not you that i dont trust,it's other people." Now you seem like you got your head on straight. Pick a time and sit down with her and tell her whats on your mind when it's just you two.You have to understand that your still a teenager and your mother is worried to death everytime you walk out the door.I'm 21 years old and my mom still e-mails me all the time just to check up thats her job. It'll get easier.Hope i helped good luck
steven
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Hey. First off, I want to say I'm very sorry about your dad. I think that might be one of the reasons your mom is so overprotective. She's already lost someone she loves, and she doesn't want to lose another. But there are things you can do to get more independence:
1) Take responsibility - meaning, doing your chores and homework without being told. For ex. if your mom is going to work late, offer to make dinner for your family. It not only helps you build some of the life skills you need to take care of yourself, but it also shows your mom that you understand that being independent isn't just doing what you want.
2) Be respectful - if you give her the respect she wants, then she'll start treating you like the mature person that you are
Try talking to her about how you feel. She's used to treating you like a child, so it'll take time, but she'll eventually get the message and start treating you with more respect, responsibility, and most importantly, give you more freedom. I hope this helped.
♥ Erin
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Your mother has experienced a great loss, and she needs you to be there by her side. You are right, she probably doesn't want you to grow up and leave her. The only way to stop this, is to tell her what you're feeling. She'll understand what she's been doing to you, and maybe will loosen up. Remind her about what it was like to be a teenager, and being excited about new things such as your liscense. Good luck
♥Arielle
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