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well here it goes..
i like this boy who i have dated in the past (let's call him *j). He tends to drink a lot as well as smoke. However, now he has cut back a lot on smoking. My friends think that in our previous relationship he didn't treat me right. Well, he did cheat on me with other girls while he was drunk. But, he confessed. On valentines day (while we were going out) he gave another girl a card saying he loved her. Yet, knowing me.. i just let it go. About a month after that incident we broke up, and now we are starting to like eachother again after a break of about 2 months. However, this time he is treating me different & way better. He actually calls me now as well as asking me to do stuff outside of school. He even calls me when he is around his friends, which he like never did in our previous relationship. Now i am debating as if he really has changed and wants a commitment or if he is just the same. Last week, he kissed me.. & that is giving me mixed signals. Now, i like him even more, which is killing me because how do i know he is a different person.
<33 HELP NOW PLEASE.
*i rate high.
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all i can give you is a quote told to me by my former boyfriend's brother when i was in a past relationship:
"hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me"
meaning, if someone has the nerve to hurt you, shame on them. that was their mistake, and you were too good for them. but if you let that same person in your life again- with the opportunity to hurt you again, which- trust me, they will- then shame on yourself for lowering your standards for someone who at one poin in your life made you feel miserable. the best part of having a man in your life is to have someone to make you happy. if at all you get the sense that he's ot fullfilling that duty, then let him go, girl.
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okay! i think you should just be friends with this J cause he most likely is wanting you just because he cant get anyone else cause they dont want to be with someone that smokes and drinks and is a cheater. I do think that if you get him going on the right track he could become a really good guy! Hope i helped!;)
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You really won't know if he's changed unless you try it again. You're already liking him even more so maybe you take the risk again. Just don't put up with any nonsense this time and don't wait for him to change again. Smoking while not real pleasant is not against the law. I would be more worried about the drinking. Especially since it tends to make him do things he later regrets. Like cheating. So, if you want to try it again go ahead, just be prepared because it may not work like you want it to. :)
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People can change, but they don't usually. I would go ahead and pursue the relationship, but take it very slowly, and be on my guard. At the first sign of trouble, I'd dump him hard and fast.
People tend to say "once a cheater, always a cheater," and I've only seen one case where it wasn't true.
Maybe you could start out as friends. Spend more time around him, but don't get too serious too quickly. If you do pursue a relationship with him, be very careful, and remember to look out for yourself. Good luck.
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He's still the same jackass.
Never go wtih someone that it didnt wokr out wtih the first time.
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He really changed for good. I guess he got the point that he has hurt you a lot before and he decided to change. He really does like you so make sure you keep your relationship just like it is now. The past is that past and its over. He cheated on you but you forgave him. Dont let that bother you. It seems like he does want to be a better boyfriend so let him. Its really good how he is treating you right now. He is a different person now but for good. You could talk to him and ask him why all of the sudden he changed into the person he is now. Good luck with everything!! ♥
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