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Is it right?
A week months back I was informed my friend gave someone else a hand-job. She's 14. I know, to some people this is normal, but we live in a nice small town where nothing like that ever really happens. Here it's different. I asked her if there was anymore and she 'swore on her music' I told her to never let him back in her house again because she claims he forced her into it. (She's in love with music, anything that has to deal with music). SO, naturally I believed her. Yesterday I found out new information. She had given a hand-job twice, a blow-job one, made out alot and let him feel her up. She never told me. She claims that she's scared, I would be too. I'm so mad about her not telling me. I'm her 'best friend'? Why don't I feel like it?
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Well, your friend is growing up, and wether she believes that its okay for her to do these things isnt really up to you. Let her know that you're worried about her and that you dont appreciate that shes been keeping things from you. Tell her that you're not comfortable with her doing these things with the boys that she hangs around with and that you're just trying to look out for her.
Since shes so young, I can see the issue here though. And if it gets any worse, i would go to her parents about what shes been donig. Its really not healthy for a young girl to be donig this that advanced sexually. Let her know that you would go to her parents though, don't use it as a threat-- just let her know you are concerned
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At 14, everything is confusing, and nothing is simple. Your friend probably knows the same thing you do about the small town bit and is afraid of being judged. So, forgive her for not telling you what you ended up hearing from someone else.
Next- you must speak to her about what you heard... you can't say for sure what's true and waht's "small town talk" anymore.
After you confront her (and do it lovingly and as a best friend) talk to an adult that you trust and respect. Your mother, a teacher or school counselor would be best. Tell him or her what's going on with your friend. Your friend may need some real intervetion here... there could be bigger problems that just the inappropriate acts she's been doing.
Good luck!
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I know that you are probably really angry at her but whatever she is saying then you have to think can you really know that it is the truth for sure? She may have been scared yes but she should have told you that way you could have tried to help her. Tell her that she has to say no to these guys becuase they will just use her again and again and it isnt fair! Hope i've helped you
luv shelly
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anonymous -
First off, by you restricting her from this guy gives her the impression that it's wrong. So if it were to continue, she would not tell you. Why? She's afraid of getting into deeper trouble with you and scared that you will criticize her like you already did.
I know you were only trying to look out for her because the jerk forced her into it, but really, telling her not to do it isn't enough to prevent it from happening. If she's a type of person that is a push-over and cannot stand up for herself, I suggest you take action and talk with this guy and tell him to back off. That or even go with her to tell her parents; they should understand because it's not her fault if he forced her. You could even get the police involved to file charges against this guy for making her do something against her will. But if she is capable, let her do it herself. After all, it's her problem and she needs to deal with it.
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Perhaps she's embarrassed to? What she is going through is just as new to her as it is to her and she was probably really worried about telling you because of your reaction. By being a best friend you have to be there for your friend even if you don't agree with what she is doing. By getting angry you will push her away and therefore it will be difficult for her to tell you more. The more you get angry the more she won't tell you. You need to show your support and let her know that even if you don't agree with what she is doing, you will still listen to what she has to say.
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She didn't tell you because it was none of your business. Sounds mean of me I know but it isn't. I agree that she is to young for all that but you are not her keeper. You won't want her knowing your personal business when you get a boyfriend either. At least I should hope not. Best friends can be best friends without knowing every single thing about the other person. :)
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first off you should ask her if the information is true. its very easy for rumors about one person to get started. you dont feel like her best friend b/c shes not including you in her life at the moment. and dont worry the things she is doing are perfectly normal when you start getting olderyou probly will only know a few people who havent done these things.
hope i could help!
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You don't feel like you're her bestfriend because she doesn't consider you as such. She doesn't want you to know she's doing those things for the reason that maybe you'll get angry. These are the things we can conclude if your sources are reliable. What if the information is wrong? If it is right then confront her. See if she is lying or not when you ask her. You'll notice by the way she acts. After that, tell her the consequences that might happen and convince her not to do it anymore. If she does not listen. Just let it go. You've done your part as her bestfriend.
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