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help please!
Ok well theirs to boys.. The one ive been on and off with since last february.. And we've been threw everything you can image together.. He was my first serious boyfriend and we did everything for each other.. But one day he cheated on me.. And its been about 2 months and every since then he's been denying it .. But i know he did and i know he just didnt want me to know but for the past 2months he;s been telling me he loves me and is sorry for everything.. Last night we went for a walk on the beach :) And he told me he loved me and cared about me and i know he wasnt lying.. And one of my xbfs Dan likes me again dont get me wrong i still care about him and what not but dan is taking me to prom and i didnt tell the other one.. and he said if i ever get back with dan he is never talking to me again.. But im deff. going to prom but i dont want to hurt dan because last time i left him for my other boyfriend.. which is the first guy i was talking about.. Should i just tell the first one im going to prom with dan and see how he reacts.. and see what happends from then on?! please help...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
hm, picture yourself as both of those guys, and think of how they'd feel depending on what decision you made. then you'll know for sure what to do. follow your heart :p
good luck,
-Kyle
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well first of all is the other guy gunnna ask you to prom?? b/c if he isnt and then you have no reason to tell im but if he is gunna ask you to prom then you hsould tell him
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The thing is, you can't really know that he cheated on you unless you saw it with your own eyes or heard it from his mouth. Anyone else who claims to have 'seen' him with someone else could just be jealous and trying to split the two of you up.
The same for him saying that he loves you. You can't know that he's not lying unless you wire him up to a lie detector or live inside his head. The following things mean that someone is lying, so watch out for them -
*Touching the nose before, after, or during the lie
*Moving of feet or hands excessviely, i.e. fidgeting
*The pupils of the eye getting a LOT bigger
*Sweaty palms
*Increased heart beat (although those last two can also be due to nerves).
What I'm really saying here is that, if he really did cheat, he probably is lying now, so ... just watch out, OK?
Generally, two-timers, even as adults, say that they love the original partner just to keep them. Hhave you heard the saying, 'don't leave the one you love for the one you like, or the one you like will leave you for the one they love'? If he did cheat, he is probably thinking along those lines. Giving someone who cheated on you a second chance is rarely a good idea. I'm sorry to say this, but there is no way that he loves you if he really did cheat - two timing you means he has no respect for you or your feelings, and respect is a very important element in a relationship.
You need to have a serious talk with him, in a non-romantic setting (walking on the beach...that's a romantic place, it would help you feel more towards him...you want your head to be as clear and neutral as possible). Ask him about his cheating on you - and warn him that you will know if he's lying. If he denies it, offer him your proof - if it is proof, either seen by your own eyes or by the eyes of someone you would trust with your life. If he denies it and you have proof that he cheated, leave him. He is not worth it, and you won't ever be able to trust him again. If he has no worries lying about two timing you, what else will he lie about? Don't sit around and be walked all over like a doormat. How do you know he's not saying 'I love you' to three other girls right now?
On the other hand, if he DIDN'T cheat, then I think you should give the relationship another chance. Or rather, he should give you another chance, because you doubted him without reason.
To me, Dan sounds like the 'one you love' and this other guy the 'one you like'. You say you left Dan for the 'one you like' - and now the one you like has cheated on you, possibly with the 'one he loves'. It all comes down to that saying I told you earlier - 'don't leave the one you love for the one you like, for the one you like will leave you for the one they love.'
I personally think that you should go to prom with Dan. Screw what the other guy thinks - he lost his right to you caring about how he feels two months ago, when he cheated on you. Forget about him - he's not worth it, and chances are he will just cheat on you all over again. Go to the prom with Dan - he wnats to give you a second chance. Take it.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
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huMm.. kinda confussing - i think you should go to prom with dan and have a good time and not worry about what the other guy thinks. it was his mistake for cheating on you and now he is paying the consequence from it. dont feed in to his sorrys. most guys that do cheat on girls do it because their looking for better ((sorry to say)) or peer pressure. if we was looking for better, or she really pressured him into doing it.. it was STILL his decision in the end to go through with it or not. therefor, no matter how sorry he is CHEATING ISNT ALRIGHT. EVER. simple as that. i personally think you should tell the 1st guy how it is and have fun with dan. :)
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oh..tough one.. see i think yoou deff. should go to prom with Dan..and tell the other guy and if he gets to jealous i think thats his loss the first guy needs to realize that you are aloud tgo be friends with other guys..i say follow your heart..
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I think honesty is the best policy here because if this guy finds out that you're going to the prom with dan from someone else this is going to make him even more upset. I'm assuming that dan asked you to the prom before you and the first guy started to get back together? If this is the case you need to explain this to the first guy and explain that you dont know what to do because you feel like whatever you do you're going to upset someone. However, you must take it into account that it is going to be very difficult for this other guy to accept that you're going to the prom with dan if you and the other guy are getting back together. Therefore, see what this guy's reaction is when you tell him about going to the prom with dan. If he's ok about it, he's an amazing guy and everything will be ok but i doubt he'll be ok with it to be honest with men and their pride and everything! So it might come to it that you need to decide whether you'd rather it be that you upset dan and start afresh with the other guy, or forget the other guy and go to the prom with dan. From what you've said it sounds like you'd rather be with the other guy so it looks as if you're going to have to let dan down. This is a no win situation and someone is going to get hurt it sucks! But if it does come down to you letting dan down just tell him the complete truth and apologise but say that you have no choice because of this other guy but you really value his friendship. Sorry if I've got the wrong idea of what you were trying to say- let me know if you need anymore help! Good luck!
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I think that you should just go to prom with a group of friends. You don't want either one of them to be mad at you so you should tell them both the situation that you're in and that you'll dance with them when youre there. Also tell them you dont want either one of them to be mad at you and you dont want to decide so... yupp=) & if you tell dan that you cannot go to prom with him you techniacally wouldnt be "hurting" him. He would understand if he cared. =)) Good Luck.
♥Jessie
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hi did you try to talk to him about the whole cheating situation? let him know that hey you know how would you feel if i went to prom with dan? and be like we're just friends and everything so if you really trust me you wouldn't have a problem with me going right? and take it from there. if he gets mad be like why isnt that i trust you and believe you when you say things and that you dont believe and trust me? but dont start a fight though. and you said that he said if you ever get back with him...you are just going to prom with him i dont think it should be a problem. let me know if you need anything else. hope i helped! take care. x3 SweetStar.
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Yes, tell the other guy your going to the prom with Dan. He shouldn't get mad. If he really cared about you he would let it go. I think you should go to the prom with Dan and have fun. If this other guy likes you, he will wait for you. =)
♥ lAuRa
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Well.. I would Tell your First boyfriend..the truth & how you feel & shit.. ! you feel me?...& tell dan whats going on..
If i helped leave something in my Inbox
<3 Jadelyn
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