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scared
...I was just sitting here on my computer, and I get this dark feeling inside of me really randomly, and then I turn my head and I blink and while I blink the feeling gets even worse and I see something torn up when I close my eyes. (i dont know what it was but it made my brain feel like it was rattling) omfg its creeping me out..it makes me feel suicidal. It makes me want to rip my skin apart. I sound completely psycho but I dont fucking know whats wrong with me and why the fuck this is happening!
I have no clue why this just happened..and I dont know why Im thinking this but now I just want to cut the back of my neck and down the middle of my back...I didnt even think this on my own I just got the feeling..and its not going away and I still want tocut the back of my neck. I dont wanna kill myself..I just have an urge to hurt myself and I have no fucking clue why...ive done it before but nowhere besides my arms and legs..
Im really scared of myself its not like I WANTED TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh that's bizarre. Well you likely have very pent up feelings of agression. Get out of your house. Breathe fresh air. You mention you were at your computer. Get out of your house. The longer you stay the more trapped you'll feel...
As a high school student not allowed to ever leave my bedroom as my mother and stepfether continue their conquest of making me into a straight A drugless sexless student... I have been filled with helpless rage. As if I wanted to tear down the walls that confined my being and to rip apart my constraints. And I would hurt myself, I would scratch my self and slam my head against the wall. We seek to destruct ourselves for our bodies seem to be moreorless the prison for our true souls, which were never truly meant to be forced into these routine lives which we must lead.
The best thing you can possibly do for yourself is to get out there... breathe fresh air.. listen to the bird song. Get off the artificial lifeline of television or computer for just a few moments.
BTW this tension doesn't have to be released via self-destruction or morbid thoughts. Sex!
Take it out on someone else... just use protection of course...
And of course if this all still doesn't work... try calm music or meditation (which can be done by finding a quiet place in your home or outdoors and closing your eyes; and focusing nothing but breathing in and out. It works wonders.
.......good luck
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Two things: One, you might have some sort of reaction to the light or screen refresh. Some people whose eyes/glasses/contacts are too good will get a headache from looking at a computer monitor, and it may be something like that. Also, monitor flicker has been known to cause depression and suicidal thoughts (among other things).
Second, is it dark in your room? And/or, have you been looking at something with significantly nonconstant colors? Anything flashing or blinking or changing brightness suddenly? If you have epilepsy or something similar (even if you don't know it), seeing something like that might set it off. There have been cases where people have keeled over dead from playing Diablo II in a dark room.
Finally, have you gotten a lot of sleep lately? If one sleeps too much (generally after staying awake for a long time... 40+ hours, like), after waking up watching something constant like a computer monitor or a book can cause interesting sensations, although I haven't encountered anything like you've described. Although, combined with one of the other things I mentioned and maybe a cold or flu onset, something like that could result, maybe.
Of course, you could be schitzophrenic or have a brain tumor or any number of other things... but for now I'm going to recommend avoiding the computer and talking to a councillor or therapist... anyone with education in the area.
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Have you been dealing with witchcraft, ouija boards, goth bands?
Cutting is the number one sign of possession.
Find a priest/pastor who believes in demonic possession and you will have a better chance of dealing with this.
Sure, you probably think it is crazy... It isn't.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Some advice on finding help:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Since you are in the terrible distress you stated above, Go here:
Go to this link and do what it says. You will feel better. When you are done, write me.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I am praying for you. Let me know how you do.
DangerNerd.
dangernerd@gmail.com
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My only suggestion is that you talk to a therapist. I have no idea what this means, and you definitely dont want to commit suicide!
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ghost possesion insanity hard to say if its a spirit tell it to leave and you are no longer its source or power anymore and it must leave(maybe you used a ouiga board) but this is weird
talk to an experienced person about this like paranormal investagators
Solemnstar
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