|
tempermental boyfriend
Hi I'm 19/f and my boyfriend is 20/m. We've been going out for 2.5 years now and like every couple, we have our share of arguments.
The problem with my boyfriend is that he's beginning to develop a short fuse. The reason I say develop is because his anger has never been this bad, not until recently. Fortunately, he doesn't get violent, but he does say a lot of mean and hurtful things that he admits that he regrets later.
When I talk to him about it, he sincerely apologizes, and tells me that when he gets angry now, it's hard to control his anger. It's really bothering me that he's like this because it seems like he gets irritable more often over the silliest of things and his hurtful words are taking its toll on me and our relationship.
We've decided long ago to keep our disagreements and conflicts civil to the best of our ability, and it was working for the most part, but now I'm the only one putting in any real effort.
I know he doesn't mean it, and my question is if there is anything I can really do to help him? I'm usually good at giving myself advice on how to handle situations like these, but I feel I've tried everything. I've confronted him about it, when we fight I hardly raise my voice and I tell him to calm down, I've proposed taking breaks, just anything you can really imagine. Some say that I should threaten to leave him or something along those lines, but trust me, it only makes him more angry.
It's like male PMS or something, he gets more irritable than me sometimes!
And no, it's not because he's sexually frustrated. How I know it's not a problem is because we are very honest and open about sex and everything for that matter; our communication and sex life are great.
So really I need advice on if there is anything I can do (that I haven't tried) and if anyone knows where this sudden bad temperment could have come from? Thanks so much!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ask him if there is anything you can do to help him with his anger and let him now how worried you are and how much you care.
]
Hes stressed about SOMETHING. I know you say he isn't. But it's the root of most problems. If he's not stressed,then it could be his brain blew some kind of anger fuse lately and he may need anger management(make time,he could be angry enough to belt you one day). It could be about sports. Guys do get out of control when shit like March Madness is on.
]
He has to g to counsling or anything to control his anger the reason is almost all cases of physical abuse begin with verbal abuse.. now he might just say hurtful things now but one day he could hit you now i know you are thinking he would never do that but you have to a counsler with him to get his anger under control.
]
ok, heres 2 answers, they both depend on how much you actually like him... 1. if you dont love him anymore because of how he is acting, you need to get out the relationship right now, hes going to eventually turn on you, and then your going to end up like one of those people you watch on CSI that theyre husband or boyfriend didnt like them anymore and killed them, or you will get into an abusive relationship and will be like one of those puppet girlfriends that keep running back for some unknown reason... i dont understand why when a girl gets hit, she just dossnt say "ok its over... until you care about me like you did when we started dating" and leave... if he does anything else call the cops, this is prolly gonna happen eventually, hopefully it dossnt, regardless of if you love him a lot or not... now 2. if you are completly attached to him, then you should just try to help him by saying you neeeeeeeddd to change, like now... have a longggg drug out talk with him, and also make sure theres not anything like drugs going on behind the scenes that he might be in denial about that he dossnt want you to know about... that could affect it... i hope this helped, ill be here for u if you want any other advice or if there are any updates... i hope this gets better, you can email me at wdarea51@gmail.com tell me waht you think of this and if u dont think it will work just tell me what you think is a good idea and ill tell you what i think :) good luck :)
]
More Questions: |