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One of my friends (A) said something mean about another of them, and everyone has now turned against A. They all hate her but I still like her. She doesn't sit with us or anything any more and I really miss her and still talk to her, but the others all hate me and have a go whenever I do sit with her or talk to her. I stick up for her as much as I can without offending anyone else, but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle - they treat me like I actually AM friend A and yell stuff at me they've been yelling at her. I'm trying so desperately to not take sides and to stay friends with them all...but everyone is being so stubborn and hate A for such a little thing! They all refuse to apologise and no-one can even consider A's side of things. What can I do? Do I give up the fight and go with one or the other side or do I keep on struggling in quicksand?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
To answer your question from my hard-headed point of view : C - none of the above.
I think your friends need to suck it up. They're playing the game of the united gang, where when one member is insulted, the rest of them turn against the person who said something mean. They may or may not use their own brains in the process. Most of them are probably turning against you and A so that insults won't be yelled at THEM, as well. I think it's fucking immature and indescribably ridiculous, and it just ... it's not worth it.
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Personally I would hand out with A. If the others are any kind of friends at all they will seek you out.If they don't who need them.You are not being the bad guys, they are.
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go with "A" on that one your other friends are bitches that need to find a life
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If it were me, I would chose one or the other. I mean, it's not fair that you're stuck in the middle. You seem pretty stressed out over this. Maybe you could give it a little longer. Try talking to the people against person A and explain why she did what she did. It seems as if you might knwo how friend A feels, since you said the others were treating you like you were her. I would try to be there for friend A. If the others were your true friends, they would let you be friends with whoever you wanted. Just because THEY don't like her doesn't mean you can't be friendly with them all. I don't really know what to say, because I don't know exactly what person A did. If you want to talk to me you can IM me, my s/n is on my advice page.
Hope I helped!
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