|
I have this boyfriend and I need some serious advice. I love him do not get me wrong on what i am about to say. He is an alcoholic. It didn't bother me at first. He used to let me do what i wanted when i wanted and now it's like i have to beg and plead with him to do what i want to do. He expects me to be at his house as soon as i get off work. If i'm not he's mad and we fight. Not all the time but..the majority. He gives me a time to be home and i am . When i tell him a time he says he will do as he pleases.
sometimes he is real mean to me. I cry cause it hurts me. somdays it's like he doesn't want to be together anymore. So then i told him if you want me to leave i will leave. I will get my shit and never come back. Then he pleaded with me . he said no. I love you please don't leave. We play around and sometimes he plays to rough. It's like he doesn't care. I let him go to girls house or even be alone with a girl. But..if i do the same he accuses me of cheating.
He has only hitt me twice out of anger. I buy his cigs,his beer and any thing else he wants.Sometimes he calls me mean names and I've asked him not to. It feels somtimes like he wants hiss cake and he wants to eat it to. Please help me. I don't know what to do anymore.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You need to get out of this relationship RIGHT NOW. Read what you wrote to yourself, think about it, and get out NOW! This is an abusive, controlling guy who's put you in an abusive relationship, GET OUT! Honey, you don't love him, and even if you do you still need to GET OUT!
-Hope I helped!-
...*bUtTeRfLiEs*...
]
You need to tell him to back off and let you do your thing. If he doesn't seem to care about him, then don't baby him. Next time he hurts you IN ANY WAY leave, and do NOT come back, no matter how he pleads. It is a trick. He will only do it again. If he has been like this and doesn't seem to want to change, then you can't make him. The only way he can do it is on his own. If you really love him, you will let him do his own thing, and you do yours.
]
well, okay when i was in school one day, we had a presentor named tom santoro, you should go on his website: www.dearlisa.org
his daughter was killed by her b/f..and if you dont get out of this relationship now.....it might be too late later.
]
well... the fact that your still with him even suprises me! what you are thinking i do not know... i would get out as soon as possible.. and this might sound weird but get either as far away from him as you can and or get a restraining order. if he hit you already twice out of anger imagine what he would do then! and dont breakup with him in person.. on the phone that way he cant hurt you.
]
you said,
"He has only hitt me twice out of anger."
Let's rephrase - "He has hit me twice."
There is no 'only' and no excuses. You have a damn compelling reason to get him out of your life. He's abusive, controlling and an addict. You deserve better. People who love each other do not do the things that he does to you. He doesn't love you, but he doesn't want to lose you because then who would be his errand runner and punching bag?
You can not change him, you don't have that power. Get out of this relationship now.
]
wow this is tough. even tho you love the guy you should really consider breaking up with him. he's making your life a living hell and you deserve to be treated better than that. you really HAVE to do something about it and soon. you should NOT tolerate being abused this way.
]
Twice is two times too many honey. Pack you bags and get out.
Just in case you think I'm being rash, I'll say more:
Even if he had never hit you, the other things point to this being an abusive relationship. A functional relationship is built on trust. He's shows that he cannot be trusted not to hurt you when he "plays too rough". He shows he doesn't trust you when he accuses you of cheating on him. There are several other things in this post that clearly say that he is abusing you. Abuse escalates; it doesn't just get better on its own. It can be cyclical, meaning that after something really bad happens, he might be all apologetic and nice for a while, before it gets even worse.
You said you love him, but keep in mind, most abusers don't change. It takes hard work to change. I'm not saying it's impossible, or that he never will, but I don't want you to fall for the "but baby I've changed" line 3 months after you break up with him, only to have him be nice for a few months before being worse than he is now. If you are inclined to give him another chance, do so only under very limited circumstances. At the very least he should stop drinking and see a counselor about anger management and abusive relationships.
If you can't get out of the relationship for some reason, see a counselor. Look up help for battered women in your local phone book.
You don't have to put up with this shit, and he needs to learn that this behavior is not acceptable. Don't threaten to leave and let him talk you out of it, just do it. Even if it means loosing the stuff you've left at his house.
Just in case the stuff I've said before wasn't clear enough:
GET OUT NOW
]
I know you prolly wont listen to my advice, and Im not goin to guarntee its the best advice. But he is NOT worth it, you DESERVE better than that crap. Dont let him lie to you and tell you he loves you, he doesnt or he wouldnt be at other girls houses, or hitting you, or relying on you for cigs,beer, and other things. He'd be out helping support himself. I know it hurts to let someone go because they cant realize their doing something stupid, but hes hurting himself and dragging you down in the pain too. Let it go before things get to where you cant get out. And as far as him hitting you once was ignorant for you to let him get away with it, but if you keep letting him to do it your stupid. Get out right now girl !
]
More Questions:<<< Previous Question: ????
| Next Question >>>
|
|