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I love my bf sooo much, but I have a big problem. My mum hates him and she used to argue with him big time but now she argues with him. I talked to her, now shes trying to be nice, for my sake but I can still she's annoyed and angry. But i really apreciate it
Anyway, I always got upset when he wouldn't come to my house. I always had to be at his house and it always took a lot out of me because that meant I wasn't home much, especially when we have been together for over a yr.
Now I think Im having problems with his family. They have always sed little things here and there which have made me feel unwelcome but I have never taken it to heart. But then a few days ago I think something just clicked inside me. I changed my hair style and they were like yea it looks 'different' and then they started to talk in another language and I understood what they were saying because my dad comes from that country. They weren't saying the nicest of things. They think I dont understand. Then I was playing with his sisters kid and she started criticising me to my bf in front of me about how I was playing with her. I wasnt even doing anything wrong. I was just drawing with her. My bf stuck up for me. Im not the loudest of ppl and they are quite loud. I just felt soo upset and so uncomfortable. I pretended I didnt hear but I felt myself go red.
Do you think I should talk to my bf about it? Now i feel how he feels when he comes to my house. He hates coming to my house. Now I feel the exact same way in his house.
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Try taking to your b/f or try meeting in different places spend more time outdoors its great. xx
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anonymous -
Hey there, I went through the same problem so perhaps I can be of assistance.
With the problems with your mom, maybe she just needs to get used to him and get to know him a little better in order to accept him. Just have patience. :)
Through the first year of being together, I was too always at my boyfriend's house constantly (mainly because my parents didn't accept him yet). The best advice I can give you here is once your family begins to accept him, he will feel more welcomed to start coming over. The reason why he doesn't want to come over a lot now is probably due to the criticism and arguments between him and your mom.
As for the situation with his family, I went through the same also. It's hard to get adjusted to his family because there's always added pressure to give a good impression. I'd suggest that as hard as it is, you may have to step out of your comfort zone and strike up conversations with his family members. The reason why they criticize is because they don't know you very well, so they tend to assume, judge, and jump to conclusions.
Just hang in there, things will hopefully get better as time elapses. Just put in the extra effort to get to know his family regardless of what they say; prove them wrong.
And yes, I think you should talk to him about it because these conflicts involve the both of you.
Good luck! :)
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you should talk to him about it.. and then ask him if you could go to the movies or out to dinner alone instead... if you feel uncomfortable when your at his house just tell him... its not the easiest thing to do... but if he loves you he won't be offended and he'll try to make things better.. or if your getting frustrated with his family and you don't feel like being soo nice anymore... well.. when there saying rude stuff about you in that language just be like "ummm excuse me but i understand that language" and then leave the room... try and encourage your boyfriend to meet your mom again because you want him to feel comfortable around her and that she is much nicer... i had the same situation with my mom... except my boyfriend still came to my house... then we broke up and now we're back together and i told him my moms a lot nicer now and he agreed to try again.... good luck
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definetly say something. you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable. i think what his family is doing is wrong in so many ways and disrespectful. talk to your mom and try to get her to treat him better. still, i think you should confront him.
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