My parents are divorced.. my mom's boyfriend proposed to her a few months ago and ever since then they have been having major problems. They never get along, and they're having a lot of money problems too. It's like one day they're all lovey-dovey and flirting and everything, and the next day they're not speaking to eachother. My mom keeps saying that she doesn't know if she wants2 spend the rest of her life with him or not. But i really want them to get married. Is there anything I can do to help them out? I've already suggested couple's therapy but he doesn;t wanna go. Any more suggestions? My mom is always depressed, and its making me depressed and it;s really hard to live like this. plz help!!
XoxBroKeNxoX answered Sunday February 13 2005, 11:56 pm: sit down and have a talk with both of them. since couples therapy is out of the question, you (secretly) can be like a therapist, and theyl just think its you trying to help them. try to find out the core of their problems and try to figure out ways to deal with them. discuss healthy ways to dissapate anger. tell them how happy they should be to have each other, and how happy you guys could be as a family. but make sure marraige wont be a mistake, because if they dont want to and they do it for you, it wont be very loving, you know? just talk with them and tell them how you feel, making a little tear, or two will make them go "oh honey" or whatever, good luck. [ XoxBroKeNxoX's advice column | Ask XoxBroKeNxoX A Question ]
xsunshinexsmilesx answered Sunday February 13 2005, 11:22 pm: You said "My mom is always depressed..." at the end of your submission. Have you considered that perhaps this boyfriend isn't good for her?
I know you want them to get married, but consider a few things here:
1) is she depressed because of her boyfriend?
2) would she be better off marrying him?
3) do you want them to get married for your sake, or for your mom's?
It is very possible that your mom is still hurting from the divorce, and isn't quite ready to remarry. I could be wrong, though.
It might help you to talk with your mom about how you're feeling--I don't know how close you are to her, but it may help if she knows that you are supporting her, no matter what decision she makes (remember that this is her life, too). [ xsunshinexsmilesx's advice column | Ask xsunshinexsmilesx A Question ]
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