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Physical attraction
I am a recovering, 47 year old, alcoholic who's only been sober for 1 year. In the past year I have made alot of changes in my life. I have always known, but could not accept, that I am a lesbian. So my whole life I have lived a lie. That was the reason for my drinking. Now that I am sober, I have come to the conclusion that in order to stay sober, I have to accept this about myself and be honest with myself and those around me.
My question is, I am attracted to my best friend
(girlfriend that is). Should I tell her? She knows about my problem and has been there to support me all through it. My other problem is that she is straight. I am afraid to lose her friendship but lately it is all I can think of.
Can you help me?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, I'd think carefully before telling your friend. Spend some time sorting out your feelings. It's wonderful that you've realized you are a lesbian and are working to accept that, and it could be best to do so without the extra complications of a relationship.
You also might want to evaluate WHY you are having these feelings toward your friend. If you're only just coming out and understanding your sexuality, it can be a natural response to have feelings toward a safe and supportive person. You know her well - she's your best friend - and you know she has stood by you in the past.
These feelings of closeness, and knowing her so well already, can lead to deeper feelings when you are in periods of uncertainty. Take some time to see if you are attracted to her for who she really is, or for your own needs. Either is fine, but it's best to understand where your feelings are coming from.
If you decide they are valid, then you need to think about how and when to tell her. If you know for sure that she's straight, then you'll want to consider what sharing this will do to your friendship. A good first step is to tell your friend that you are a lesbian - that gives her time to accept your sexuality and get used to the idea. It might be too much to come out to her AND tell her you like her - ease her into it.
At the end of the day, it's up to you whether you tell her or not. But spending your time being attracted to someone who is not attracted to you is a great way to keep yourself from getting hurt by taking an emotional risk. Find someone you can like who will like you back. You deserve that.
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there are two ways this can go. but telling her might make things awkard with you and her.I know because I have told one of my really good friends I was attracted to her and she wouldnt talk to me for a week or 2. I am a guy and I am not gay so I don't know if its harder telling someone your attracted to them. (I always do it for fun)
The other way is to tell her because you can't control who you are attracted to. Well At least I can't. And if she is understanding than she'll understand ecspecially since she is your best friend, hoping that friendships are the same at my age in high school. good luck with your problem
-lying dreamer
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Just tell her and explain that even if she doesnt like you like that you still wanna be her friend because shes just a really great person.
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You really shouldnt try to turn straight people gay, just like you shouldnt try to turn gay people straight. Tell her how you feel if you like it, expect rejection, thought.
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if she is straight then you shouldnt tell her your attracted to her, sorry its just that simple. you should tell her you are a lesbian though. are you sure she is straight? if you are then it would definitely make things unconmfortable.
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