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Broken me? Or broken family?
My family has always had issues. I've tried to work at fixing them even though my family tells me constantly that its me, not them. We fight over how much work each other does around the house, we fight over who gets to watch what on TV, we fight about almost anything we can think of. I think that everyone in my family has little problems in their lives that they need to work on, but they all seem to think that it's my fault, when I believe all I'm trying to do is help get this family in line because no one else can. Could it all be my fault, or no?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I think it's hard for one person to try to take responsibility to 'fix' a family. Maybe this isolates you somewhat, which makes it easier for the rest of the family to point the finger of blame in your direction.
Have you tried a family meeting? Setting groundrules ahead of time helps - for example, no yelling, no lies, only one person talks at a time. One really good exercise is to pass around an object - while a person is holding that object, they can speak their mind and no one else can interrupt.
A meeting could be used to air your frustrations and hurt feeings, what you want from your family - and also how the rest of them feel, as well. Until everyone starts being heard and appreciated, it's going to be hard to patch up the relationships.
Simple solutions - schedules. Daily chore schedules, TV timetables, etc. You can't argue with black and white. The key is making sure every family member agrees to the schedules ahead of time; that way, no one can complain when they don't like it down the road.
Flexibility and communication are very, very important.
Good luck.
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ther is a lot of chojses in this you and your famly can tak a vakashen are you can have a meting like a big sarcil so you all kan talk a bout wat thay and you fill bout youall cant get maed youll just ned to make shanges
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There is no way that it is all your fault. Maybe you are being a little bit pushy. Are you actively trying to change who they are? Stop that nonsense. If there is blood involved, worry about it. Otherwise try to be the smart one and refuse to argue. Or instead of saying no, think of something else to say yes to. For example, you want to see something particular on TV. If you plan ahead, let them what they want for a show, but say in return I would like to watch X at 6. Just make little deals. Its not broken, you just need to do your part and everything will be better.
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unlike the other advice you've gotten i'm gonna say don't ignore them that only makes you look worse. make sure you do your part in the house, when arguments about what to watch break out don't pick a side at all instead just sit there as if you don't care either way. don't give them a reason to involve you in these arguments. try and be the voice of reason if it's possible. and if someone wants to talk to you, talk to them (like your parents) make yourself available and make it so they know what your thinking and where you stand in the house. be patient and don't let your attitude get in the way of letting you say what you need to. good luck
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i'm in a similar situation. everytime you have a fight with your family, it lowers your self esteem, and theirs too. that is what is making you question if it is you or not. it most definately isnt you though. i think maybe you and your family are a little preoccupied with things other then ur family lifes.. and this makes you confused and irritable. just try to avoid them as much as you can. or maybe talk to them about how much you hate fighting--
when theyre calm
xO- sara
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