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She Lies
I have a friend, who I met about 4 months ago, and now I've discovered all she ever told me was a lie. This girl lied about where she came from, what she does with her time, about her parents, and everything else in her life. I would lie to know how to comfront her about this without pushing her away.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Fiendship is based on trust. Without trust, two people cannot be friends, only acquaintances. Therefore, as I see it, this girl is not your friend. You are, at best, friends with the person you thought she was. You are under no obligation to comfort her, though I commend you for your kind heart. In fairness though she owes you big time and, if it was my "friend", she would have to work a great deal to earn even a grain of trust. Be very careful here, I have met people who sound very similar to this, and they rarely stop lying (often its compulsive).
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Why do you want to confront her? Do you want to still be friends with her? Do you want to expose her for who she is and be done with her? It doesn't sound like the later since you said you don't want to "...pushing her away" so I'll assume you still want to maintain a relationship with her. Well...I'm not sure what kind of a relationship you really have with a person who lies to you all the time. Relationships whether intimate or not are based on trust. When a person lies they violate that trust. Once trust is violated it's hard to regain. And even if it is regained it's never the same. Why is it that you want to maintain this relationship? ...On the other hand, we all have problems. Our job in life is not to judge other people. It's best to always assume the best about another person. She probably has a good reason to be doing what she is doing. Whether it is covering something up which could be a hurtful situation or something in the way she was brought up has damaged her value system. Either way it is how she is. So you have to figure out why it is you want to confront her and what you mean to gain out of this relationship. Once you can answer those two questions you'll have the answer on how to approach her. Just keep in mind you can't change another person you have to accept them for who they are. Never say to yourself, "well she'd be perfect if I can get her to change this one thing(it's usually more than one thing anyway)" She'll only change if "SHE" wants to not if you do. She may always be a liar and even if you confront her succesfully it may be something you have to accept to maintain a relationship with her. Hope I was helpful. That's my advice.
John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)
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Just try asking her. Its the best way to not get confrontational with her. She could have a very good reason as to why she is lying. She could be in a witness protection program or something serious like that. People sometimes have good reasons as to why the make things up. It isnt always to hurt someone or trick them. Just ask her. Im sure she has a good reason. Hope i could hepl Kelly!
p.sp. write me back and tell me how you met this person i would like to know. Keep in touch
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Well you can either trick her someway and catch her in a lie.
Or try being subtle and say "Hey I talked to your dad the other day and he says you're actually for Kansas, and I thought that you were from Idaho, I'm just probably confused"
Or just confront her about it be direct, tell her you know she lied ask her why and all.
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