okay this is really weird.. im 13/f and i juss found out one of my best guy friends is gay! he doesnt know me and my friend know.. but now me and my friend cant look at him the same.. were not aggaint gay people but i mean when we see him talking to another guy its kinda freaky cuz what if he is flirting with him.. i dont know he has had a girl friend and me and my friend thought he was gay because he hung out with all girls but we didnt want to believe it.. and we want to be friends with him still but this is all happening so fast and we dont know what to do!! can you please help us and help us find a way to not think of him as gay and think of his as we used to.. we will rate 5's
sincerley
just not the same*
alisonmarie answered Friday January 14 2005, 3:23 pm: How do you know your friend is gay? If he didn't tell you himself, then you need to be really careful about making assumptions. He could be gay, bisexual, OR straight.
If he IS gay, then what you need to realize is that he is the same. He's always been gay. He's always been attracted to other guys. He has not changed at all.
What has changed is the way you look at him. I think that a bit of time should help - it sometimes takes gay people awhile to get comfortable with their sexuality, and it can take their family and friends time as well. But even more than time, you need to talk to him.
If you are believing rumours, not really talking to him, or feeling weird about the situation, a good conversation can work wonders. If he's gay he could really need your friendship and support.
Of course there's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, but some people don't understand that. You can be the one holding his hand when he has problems - but you can't be there for him if you can't even talk with him.
NEVERLETG00 answered Friday January 14 2005, 6:51 am: well he's your friend, you shouldn't see him differently beacuse he's gay. theres pretty much nothing for you to do to change the way that he is.. even if hes talking to a guy and you think its flirting or if he was, it shouldn't be a big deal to both of you, beacause thats the way he is, xox Renee [ NEVERLETG00's advice column | Ask NEVERLETG00 A Question ]
dancinqueen08 answered Thursday January 13 2005, 6:48 pm: One, how do you know he is gay if he hasn't told you? Don't believe everything that you here. Two, gay people aren't a totally different species and they are not attracted to every guy they see just like you are not attracted to every guy you see. If you are really his friend, the whole gay thing wouldn't bother you. I guess just talk to him about it and either you'll become more relaxed or you will no longer be his friend. He's still the same person as he used to be just a different sexual preference, and his sexual preference probably won't even make a difference until high school. [ dancinqueen08's advice column | Ask dancinqueen08 A Question ]
xxBrOkEnxx answered Thursday January 13 2005, 6:39 pm: how do you know hes really gay??truthfully gay guys are the best i wish one of my friends would turn gay their a girls bestfriend...you shouldnt look at someone differently just because their gay.. [ xxBrOkEnxx's advice column | Ask xxBrOkEnxx A Question ]
babeoriental answered Thursday January 13 2005, 4:55 pm: well you do like for sure are certain that he's gay? don't assume anything. but if he is then i think gay people are cool and just becuase he may be gay doesn't mean he likes every guy he sees gay guyz are like girls and i'm certain we don't love every guy we see. and he might need someone so don't ignore him help him out [ babeoriental's advice column | Ask babeoriental A Question ]
iNsAnelyKrAzie76313 answered Thursday January 13 2005, 4:49 pm: First of all how do you know hes gay? and just think of it as a plus that hes gay . now you and him and your other girl friend can all sit around and talk about guys and he can help you explain why a guys being a jerk or soemthing cause he is one so he understands them better.and if you dont want to do that .then just confront him about his "gayness" maybe he isnt actually gay. i mean there are tons of rumors in middle school way to much drama for anyone to live with.and he probably isnt sure if he wants to be gay yet i mean he is only 13 or 14. maybe he just thinks he will have better luck with guys then girls. so maybe if you can get him a girlfriend he will change.it just all depends on so many factors.and when you do see him talking to another guy just remember its like you tlaking to a guy or guys talking to girls theres nothing wrong with it. [ iNsAnelyKrAzie76313's advice column | Ask iNsAnelyKrAzie76313 A Question ]
jamziix16 answered Thursday January 13 2005, 4:43 pm: i think you should talk to him about it. i'd probably have the same reaction as you. you need to talk to him about it.. but not in a mean type of way.. i'm sure you'll feel better once you consult him about it =) [ jamziix16's advice column | Ask jamziix16 A Question ]
Diona_Marie answered Thursday January 13 2005, 4:35 pm: Well maybe he is confused right now, give him some time to come around, if you are one of his good friends he will tell you. Just because he is gay doesnt mean you should treat him any different try not to let it bother you because you still arent even sure yet. Just because a guy hangs out with all girls doesnt make him gay. But if you must know write him a note or just ask him online i dont think he will take any offense to it. hope i help -Diona xO [ Diona_Marie's advice column | Ask Diona_Marie A Question ]
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