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To tell or not to tell the husband
I just found out my husband has been cheating on me. We agreed to separate for a while because we can't live together right now. But he is still sleeping with this woman who is also married with children. He says he is not sure weather or not it is going to work out with her, that he doesn't know her, he is just living a fantasy right now, replacing what was missing in our relationship. He is getting attention he hasn't gotten from me in a while because our lives have been so busy. It doesn't make it okay, but our relationship is way to special to throw away and I want to work it out with him. We are going to couples counseling in a few months. I am having a hard time convincing him to stop sleeping with this woman, and I am thinking about sending this woman's husband the e-mails she and my husband have exchanged along with a letter I have written to him revealing the truth about what his wife has been out doing. But will this push this woman further into my husbands arms or will it make her and her husband focus on their own relationship instead of her focusing on hers with my man? Please help, I don't know weather or not to send it without everyone's advice out there!! Will it only cause more problems that will work against what I want (my husband back in my arms) or will it end the affair my husband is having?
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How long has the affair been going on 6months 1year thats makes a diffrence if his seen her for years you should bite the bullet and leave no one should be treated like trash I just got a divorce from my husband because of his cheating ways they never stop so leave him you will come out of it alot stronger. As far as the emails I would send them but only to make her suffer it will not help you in your sition.
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Hmm.. that's a little tricky. If you send the letters it will most definately make everything more dramatic. Though, if you know about this other women, then shouldn't her husband? Your husband will probably be made that you did this to her though, behind his back. It might just push him farther away from you and further your problems. I don't think you should do anything of the sort until after the counciling which you and your husband seem to need right now. If you two have a truly special relationship you should be able to outlast this problem. Hope the decision you make is the best for you, and I hope I helped.. :)
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he cheated on you! he betrayed you and your trust..also with another married woman..since he is still sleeping with her i would tell her husband because he has a right to know but they could probably get even more close...you should just go to the couples counseling for a little but once a cheater always a cheater,but if that doesnt work i would get a divorce because he did that to you..and i would think that you would get everything because he cheated on you..but thats your choice
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WOW!...you are a strong woman. For me cheating is a zero tolerance policy, i don't think i could be with a man who cheated on me just because its such a betrayl of trust. I think you are entitled to do as you please in terms of telling this other woman's husband. He has a right to know. I wouldn't necessarily send the emails unless he asks for them. Just make sure he knows about the affair. I'm sorry but you sound like you deserve someone who wont cheat on you and I really hope you are able to work this all out. Just make sure you know what you want-i know he's important to you and you love him but now its your turn to ask yourself what you want. do you want to stay with him? do you want to end things? really the ball is in your court. Best of luck...keep me updated. im sure a lot of other people will be interested to read how this turns out.
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Your husband looks to me like he's made it clear of one thing:He doesn't know what he wants,but he does know what he doesn't want. And unfortunately thats you. Too bad b/c you sound like a nice person. Sending the e-mail won't do much,the guy probably already knows about the bullshit going on b/w his wife and your husband. You love your husband,but it appears he doesnt love you. I say get a divorce. For one,if he cheats now,won't he always chase skirts? Two,you deserve somebody who won't cheat on you. Three,if he's not responsible for your marriage,why would he feel responsible about any kids you have or might have. I'm sorry.
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1. You're beautiful, strong and fabulous.
2. repeat this to youself over and over, because what follows ain't so great.
This man doesn't love you. If he once did, he doesn't anymore. Leave now. You cannot FORCE someone to love you, nor should you want to. This person does not care about you or your children, and you need to exit this situation as soon as possible. You CAN survive on your own. The other people are not your concern right now, and you don't need to bother with 'should I tell her husband'. Stand up for yourself, respect yourself, and leave him.
Honest.
XO
ABCTC
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okay.. i definatly think that you should tell him..
1. because you know how it feels to have the person you love to be cheating on you with someone else.. and he deserves to know.. and their kids deserve to have two faithful parents.. and maybe that way.. he can try to fix whatever is going on in his house
2. because you shouldnt have a guilty conseience about knowing something like that and not telling..
3. maybe this guy decides that he is fed up with this.. she will probably (if she loves him) break things off with your husband and try to start over to regain her husbands trust.. and your husband will come back to you..
and.. some not asked for advice.. i think that you.. while your seperated.. let him know that you love him.. but your not going to be walked on.. i mean.. even if yall are seperated... that doesnt mean he can just go and sleep around with other married women!! i think that you should give him a choice.. because the marrage counseling isnt going to work if he is still not giving up this other woman.. because obviously he doesnt care about having both relationships.. tell him that your not gunna take it.. and if he doesnt change.... then walk.. and go and date other people.. dont let him keep walking on you.. your better then that...
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her husband will probably leave her if he find's out. It's funny how women will put up with a man cheating on them and breakin there hearts, but a man won't put up with that shit. Wake up! he's sleepin with a woman that aint you, if he cared about you sooooooo much he would be with you. sorry but the truth hurts.
**additonal*
HEY GIRLFRIEND, THIS IS THE MOM OF THE GIRL THAT WROTE YOU THE ADIVE ABOVE, I AM 45, MARRIED RECENTLY AND HAVE LOT OF LIFE EXPERIENCE UNDER MY BELT, LET ME TELL U YOUR LETTER WAS DISTRESSING TO ME, FIRST OF ALL, SOUNDS LIKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP W/HUBBY IS ONLY SPECIAL TO YOU, NOT HIM,TELL HIM TO GO FOR IT, U DONT CARE, IF YOU LET HIM KNOW U CARE HE WILL SURELY NOT COME BACK TO YOU. AND NO 2 TELL HER HUSBAND, ITS ONLY FAIR AND HE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW.dONT TRY TO TELL HIM TO STOP SLEEPING WITH HER, IT WONT WORK. IM SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT,BUT YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE THAT DOSENT INVOLVE HIM, AND IF SEES YOU HAVE MOVED ON HE WILL COME CLOSER TO COMING HOME THAN IN ANYOTHER DAY, BY THE WAY, IF YOU CAN "GET" THE OTHERS HUSBAND THE NEWS, DONT LET ANYONE KNOW YOU TOLD IT,. BUT I WOULD DEFINATELY MAKE SURE HE KNOWS. HOW MANY KIDS DOES SHE HAVE AND DOES SHE WORK,.? ANYWAY, I WISH YOU WELL, DONT LET HIM MAKE YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD DOWN, YOU ARE WORTH A LOT MORE THAN THAT, THERE IS LIFE AFTER A ROTTON HUSBAND AND BELIEVE ME HE IS ROTTON!
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