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stranger
My boyfriend and I have been together for just under two years. We've had our problems and worked through them - we started dating when we were still in high school. (I'm about to turn 18, he's about to turn twenty.) We've always been friends and supported each other, knowing that high school relationships don't tend to last very long. Things have been good lately in the sense that we get along, we spend time with one another and care about eachother very much - but lately I've been bothered about where our relationship is going.
We do not and never have said the words "I Love You", and we both used to agree that too many people misuse those words, causing more problems. He has a bad past when it comes to "love" and relationships, but we've been together for two years. I don't expect him to love me necessarily, or to tell me he does when he isn't ready - but I sometimes doubt his feelings for me relationship -wise. We haven't been talking the same way we had been lately, and I tried talking to him about this and he just stayed silent, (his way of blocking out my questions.) The silence is getting to me. I've even tried asking him flat-out, "how do you feel about me?". He seems to think I shouldn't ask him, and won't tell me why he feels like he shouldn't answer. It's starting to make me feel like we've just hit the end, but we're so connected when it comes to being around eachother, we've been friends and more than friends for so long. In short, his actions are there most of the time, but the words are not. I sometimes feel as if after all this time, I've been with a stranger. We don't have 'fun' as much anymore, and he often seems completely enthralled with his thoughts and less enthusiastic about life in general when around me.
I really would like to be in a relationship where we can say "I love you" after being together for so long - or at least be able to be verbally affectionate. - But I don't want to force him or make him feel like he's being forced. I want him to be happy, too, but I sometimes feel I'm not getting the attention I deserve. Am I being over-insecure? Thanks for anyone willing to read this long thing, and help.
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Sounds like you need to reevaluate this realationship. It should be serving both of your needs and if it is not, then you must be able to talk about it and have a partner that is willing to do what you need to be happy. This might not be that relationship or it just might be ending under it's own weight of time. Not every relationship is meant to be a lifelong commitment. It is hard to recognize this and move on but to me, and from what you said about him, I can't help but feel he is taking you for granted and the both of you just might be caught up in being habits to one another and are not really lovers any longer. The habit of being with someone can mask a lot of problems for a long time. These problems may be rising to the surface now. If he will not go to couples counseling with you, go by yourself. You need help to figure this one out and if it is salvagable, then counseling will help you in that or in breaking it off.
Just because you have a long term relationship,doesn't mean you will have a happy marriage. I speak from experience. I married from a habit of being together and spent the next 16 years being miserable. Go for counseling and get the help you need to figure this one out.
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Well. You can pray...a lot about this, but maybe you guys need to let go of eachother. It may be hard, but it might be what you need to do. If that doesn't seem right to you then try livening up your relationship a little bit by taking some fun outings such as going ice skating or taking a walk through the park. The simple things in life, such as spending times with the people who mean most to you in life, are what makes life so enjoyable. ~*AmAnDa*~
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this happens alot...but in your case just get together with other girls or guys that youve always wanted to get to know this usually helps alot...
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ok, you and this guy have been together for 2 years and normally when people are together for months thats when they say i love you, i would figure that by now yall would say it to eachother because it would be crazy not to, 2 years is a very long time and it seems to me like yall are commited to eachother so why not say i love you ... maybe he wants to tell you he loves you but hes scared you dont love him or something, try playing hard to get, like if he trys to kiss you or something move away from him and make him kiss you on your cheek and then when he trys it again let him kiss you on your lips, thats one way of playing hard to get but there are also other ways as well, let him come to you and tell you how he feels, i'm sure that he will soon because being with someone for 2 years should make you want to tell the person who your with how you feel, although i'm prob not hitting the nail on the head right now but just try playing hard to get it would drive him crazy, i hope this helped you in some way, *feedback is greatly appreciated*...~Nikki
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well, i sorta know what you feel like. like for instance, my dad.he's not very touchy feely(like hugging volenterily)but just because he doesnt hug me lots doesnt mean he doesnt love me. this might be the case, like my dad your boyfriend might show that he loves you in other ways. you just have to look for them. like that he buys you lotsa stuff or something like that. hope i helped!
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...hard.. i think you might be a bit too over-insecure.. try thinking in his perspective... maybe he's not the kind of person who's really open to other ppl when talking about his feelings.. give him time.. he'll probably talk to you about his feelings for you sooner or later.. i hope i helped.. but then again wut do i no.. rite...??
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