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A couple of problems
I've had this crush on this girl for quite some time. It's gotten to the point where I'll buy stuff I don't really need, nor do I really want, just to talk to her. She always seems happy to see me and always gives me a big hug before I leave. The problem is I have no idea how old she is. I'm not the type of guy who judges people who date younger or older people, but it seems to worry my when I'm involved. I'm 20, what if she's only 15 or 16. She looks and kind of acts young, so I'm worried. What do you think the dating age limit should be for someone like myself?
The other problem. Earlier today, I saw scars and cuts on her rist. It doesn't look like something an accident would have caused. I know she can't really die from cuts on arm, but the scars aren't exactly good for her either. How should I go about asking her where they're from? Is it even my business to ask such a question? What if she obviously lies to me about the scars origins? Should I just drop it then or what?
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just plain out ask her how old she is! i mean if you really like her, and it seems like she likes you too or at least thats my guess, then age shouldnt really matter unless she's like under 16 bc that would be a lil to much. about the scares thing, i wouldnt just ask her about it as like a random thing. after you find out how old she is, and get to know her a lil more, then maybe she would be comfertable telling you. i mean it could be from like something funni and simple, and you never know it could've been an accident, or it could be something serious like she's a cutter or used to cut. but yah, dont bring it up in simple conversation, something tells me the outcome wouldnt be that great!
hope i helped!
~Haley~
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Well i was 17 when i met my boyfriend who was 20 (he was going on 21).. It's a little age difference. But not too bad. I would say 16 should be the minimum. I mean honestly the age different between you and the girl isn't THAT bad it's just she's just at a younger age right now where her parents may not agree. Not if she was 20 and you were 25 that would be fine. But try to find out her age and stuff. Now as for the cutting goes. You can get hurt from cutting yourself. If you cut a vein (on your wrist) the wrong way you could bleed to death. I don't know how well you know her but i wouldn't think it would be very comfortable asking her about it if you don't know her well. I would drop it for now, if you two end up getting closer and you still notice cuts on her wrist then you could bring it up.
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Well, I think you can ask her age without sounding suspicious. I think there's nothing wrong with a 20-year-old dating a 15-year-old, partly because I'm 15, so I don't know if you should trust my opinion. You should ask her about the scars, because if you really care about her you should make sure that she isn't masochistic. If she obviously lies to you, you should make sure she knows that she can trust you, and you shouldn't go into it further than what she wants. But yeah, good luck with the girl.
I'll pray for you hun.
-Farren
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first thing you have to do is know her age so next time you see her just casually ask how old she is after a while of conversation. ask her out on a date or just to hang out one night if she is in the age range you are interested in. Also, the cuts on her wrists might not be anything now BUT when people cut or burn themselves its because they dont know how to take out there anger. This isnt good at all. Right now cutting might not be very serious but in a few months her cuts could turn to slits. She could end up killing herself, so if u really care then talk to her about it but only when she is comfterble around you. If she feels threated by you she will take it the wrong way and might not ever talk to you again. but trust me, cutting is serious.
good luck hunny.
xo. melanie
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Man, if you really think that you like her_alot_ then just ask her, if she knows how old you are, you have the right to know how old she is. And if she wont tell you, ditch it++++ she might just be a little girl with a crush on you, dont make your self look like the fool. ask her, then really think if you think that age is apropriate.
and if you think those cutz on her wrist are serius, dont let anything like that slip away from your mind. When you think you know her pretty well, ask her, talk to her about it. And if she is doing somting illegal, stop it!
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Ok...question number one. I'd say the age limit for you would be 17. Sorry, but it should be 18 BUT 17 is on the border so its ok. And if you really want to find out her age introduce a friend to her and have him/her ask how old she is that way it doesnt seme like you are unsure.
Ok...question number 2. Just simply ask her when you see the scars again "woa, that looks painful...what happened? I used to have a cat that scratched me up really badly." Just play along with it or something. Make it seem like a casual comvo. Hope I helped and good luck!
~*~*~Ren~*~*~
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If you're over 18, then you should not be dating anyone under 18. Legally, you could get yourself into trouble. Plus, it's just kinda creepy for a 20-year old to be dating a 15-year old. In your question, you seem to be uncomfortable with dating someone that young. Go with your instincts. Remember what you were like when you were 15? There is a big difference emotionally between a 15, or 16-year old and a 20-year old. Plus, if you have sex with a girl under 18, that's rape. Even if she consents. In some states, if an adult has sex with a minor under 16 it's also considered child abuse.
So, if you want to ask this girl out, just ask her how old she is.
As far as the scars and cuts on her wrist-- you don't know where they are from. It sounds like you don't know her well, yet her cuts and scars are pretty easy to see when you see her. If she has been cutting herself, she would probably try hard to hide the evidence. Maybe I've misunderstood, and she is a friend of yours. You could ask her about it. Just keep it low-key-- "I noticed your scars and cuts on your wrists. Did you have an accident? Are you OK?" But if you don't know her, except in passing at the store where she works, then that would be an awkward question to ask. Of course, if she is in trouble, and needs someone to notice her and help her, an awkward question doesn't seem all that bad, does it?
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OK.. first of all when i was younger(13/14) i had a 20yr old that i thought really liked me. it turned out he didn't. He made me do things that i didn't want to do.. but i did them anyway cause i liked him. I honestly think by your conserns and your worries that you DO like her. and that's all that matters. just make sure that you respect her and what she wants too.. she may not be as old and matured as you. some times its hard but things are left better alone till you know the person better and maybe a little more about her okay?
Trying to help,
tifany
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