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Will he pay?
My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 years... and in this 3 years I have always bought the birth control pills and condoms (i know about prescription plans but i couldnt get one until like now) I have always tried to get him to buy or help pay for it but he never does, or always forgets just recently i told him he was going to pay for the next batch of birth control pills i was buying and he got all mad, and said i should pay for it? Is that fair? I think since it is for both of us we both should pay and seeing how i have paid PLENTY of money that he should put in some money? What should I do to help him understand?
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It's great that you are using condoms in addition to the pill.
What should you do to help your boyfriend understand that birth control is his responsibility as well as yours? Well, my initial reaction is that you don't have to do anything to help him-- help yourself and dump him. If he has no concept of personal responsibility, fairness and how to share you should break up with him. I'm struck by the fact that you have to ask whether or not it's fair that he refuses to help pay for birth control. Surely, you know the answer to that question. For crying out loud, couldn't he at least buy the condoms?! This guy needs to show some thoughtfulness, respect and maturity before he can be an equal partner in a relationship with any woman who cares enough about herself to not put up with such shabby treatment and immature behavior.
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tell him that if he can't help pay for the pills... he can't enjoy the sex.
that ought to get his attention.
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does he pay for other stuff? if that's all you pay for then i think its fine but generaly the guy buys the condoms. birth control pills are usually your responsibility. or you could give him an ultimatum "no more sex until you buy condoms'' should work well
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no. don't have sex with him unless he pays up. Just be like, oh sorry baby, i ran out of pills rubbers and money. Guess we can't have sex . . .
That'll change things very VERY quickly.
Good luck.
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Tell him that you won't have sex with him unless he pays, or at the least pays for half. It can be some pretty expensice stuff after a while. Or you could let him be a jerk, and go pick up some free condoms at the local health department. Or that's what you can do. But you should make him chip in. If you threaten to not have sex until he helps pay, and follow through with that threat, then he will eventually either pay, or dump you. And if he chooses to dump you over something as stupid as this, then it is sooooo not worth it. You're with a jerk (not to sound rude) I mean, he's not a very nice guy if he's not willing to help pay. I mean, would he rather help pay the expenses of the birthing process, and the next 18 years of a very needy childs life, or just chip in for the darn birth control? Maybe you should re think the fact of the guy you are dating.
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If he isn't willing to pay for the birth control, ask him how well he would like to share the cost of CHILD CARE. And if he isn't willing to put in his share, maybe you need to think about how you need to find someone responsible to have a relationship/sex with. I mean really. He "forgets" because you let him off the hook. He either pays for it or he doesn't get any. PERIOD.
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No it isn't fair. But you have to keep paying for it if you are intimate and not planning on children anytime soon. It's either that, talk to him about it and explain to him if he doesn't want a child he needs to help keep it the way things are by forking out a few bucks or abstain from being intimate (not to punish him but to make him realize you're not willing to risk getting pregnant and cannot afford pills or condoms). You also might want to bring up that helping you pay for it relieves the cost of having a child. Afterall, contreceptives are a lot cheaper than having and raising a child.
I know it's been three years for you, but if this is a trend with him (not sharing the cost of things) then you might want to consider ending the relationship. If he's like this now, he might never change. And lord knows you don't want to be the only one bringing in the money in the future,
Good luck and all the best.
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