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Proposal
I have been dating my current boyfriend for one year this coming month. We are constantly talking about marriage, but we are light in the pocket book. I don't make a ton, and he has about $12,000 in debt. Not to mention that his idiot sister talked him into buying a new car that he couldn't begin to afford so tack $25,000 on to that. I am trying to scrimp like crazy.
We have dated off and on for many years, and I want to be with him no matter about the money thing. He isn't used to saving money; he has been spending for a long time. He is trying very hard to stay on a budget. And I am very proud of him. I have squirreled away a small amount o cash but less than 6 months salary. I have no outstanding debts. What more can I do to save money and still continue to be healthy?
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Before you marry him he should be out of debt remember what debt he has you will have when you marry him so his credit becomes your credit.
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If you do get married, get a prenuptial agreement that will keep your assets separate even if your in a community property state.
Help him set up a reward system for himself. Let him know that your proud of him when he stays on budget. Maybe help him set up steps to remove himself from debt and save money.
If you don't want to get married until certain financial goals are met, let him know that. Then sit down together and figure out what can be done to meet those goals and how long it will take.
This is a tough issue, but it's not impossible. :)
Good Luck!
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YOU NEED TO START SITTING DOWN AND MAKING A LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE PAYED AND THEN START TO PUT AWAY MONEY COMING IN AND THE MONEY YOU HAVE FOR THOSE CERTAIN BILLS. THEN YOU NEED TO SPEND YOUR MONEY MORE WISELY. JUST WORK TOGETHER WITHG ALOT OF COMMUNICATION.
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My fiance has a bit of school debt and only a little bit of credit card debt (which will be paid off by him before our wedding in July). If he's showing signs of a responsible money handler, great! Keep on him, let him know that you notice that he's really trying and that you support him (psychologically).
Given his past and present, when you guys get married (or even now), I would create a savings account in your name and squirrel a secret stash for emergencies... Don't spend this money for any reason you might think is a good one (not for fixing cars or buying a new suit for a new job, or even medical bills). This is for a true emergency.
Other than spending your money wisely, that's the best thing that you can do. Every little bit counts so even when you think it doesn't, IT DOES. Use your bonus card at the grocery store and deliberately look for savings only on things you buy anyway (don't buy it just because it's on sale). Target and H&M have really cute clothes that are so much cheaper than anywhere else, same for TJMaxx, Ross, and Marshalls. Avoid paying full price for anything!!! Get Dial-Up or DSL instead of Cable internet access. Don't eat out to lunch, instead make your own lunches or buy frozen ones when they're on sale.
These are all things that I do and that I will undoubtedly continue to do for the rest of my life. Millionaires stay millionaires because they scrimp and save, it's true!
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You could ask your boyfriend to start saving money...or at least get rid of the debts he's got. The first step? Selling his new car and buying something more afforable. There are plenty of nice, new cars he could get for 10,000 less.
I think if you are putting away a chunk of money from each paycheck, you're acting in a financially healthy way. After all, you don't want to totally deny yourself while basically paying someone else's way.
I'd be very, very careful. People with spending habits take a long time to change - often suffering relapses along the way. If you were to marry your boyfriend, you could feasibly end up supporting his habits for the rest of your life.
I think everything has to be mutual - you BOTH need to be saving and planning for your future. Unfortunately, his debt is something that can't go away overnight. But with steady, careful budget planning, they WILL go away...and you'll save up money for a wedding.
Best of luck.
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i know money is a HUGE issue after you get married. See usually it is a spender and a saver..getting together..so you going to have to get clear on what are acceptable purchases or not(and tell the sister to BUY him that car!!..she wanted it..she should buy it from him!!)
See marriage is hard enough meshing together w/o adding money problems...but if you are pooling your resources and saving together..and CLEAR on what you can and cannot buy..i do not see why you cannot get maried,
BUT..any problems you HAVE before the amrriage will only be harder after..so i would go see a counselor and make sure you are right on track about your future...
if you have too many expesnes..it is hard to save..that you have got almost 6 months in the bank..i am REALLY impressed...most people do NOT have that!!
good luck!!
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