|
depressed stalker
Last year at camp, there was this guy who's a little over a year younger than me that really really liked me and I guess I gave him the impression that I liked him as a friend. See, I was like the only one that was actually nice to him, and most people think he is reallyreally annoying, and so do I, but I didn't say it to his face. He was like in love with me or something and it drove me crazy how he was always following me around and stuff. Stupidly, before I knew he liked me, when he was collecting screen names, I gave him mine. When I found out he liked me, I figured he'd get over it during the school year and I wouldn't have to worry about it. I was really annoyed by his having to always hang around me, but turns out he was depressed and on meds and I didn't wanna ruin his life by telling him he drove me crazy. So when he brought up the topic of us going out, I told him I only liked him as a friend. He said that was better than nothing, and with the impression that I wanted to be his friend, (I suppose that impression was my fault) kept latching onto me and following me. The rest of that week at camp basically sucked but I figured he'd get over me. When I got back home, he of course kept IMing me. I figured he'd stop in a couple months. I didn't want to tell him I didn't really want to have anything to do with him, again, because of the depression thing. So I talked to him, and I really did give him a chance then, and I also did at first at camp, and I then knew for sure, for a fact, that I'd never like him and I really didn't want to talk to him. Howeverhe insisted I meet him at the mall on his birthday. I said I would, and decided after that, I would act like everything was alright, and we were friends, and then block him and claim that I lost IM in the middle of November if I saw him at camp. I've now followed through with the blocking him. But there is a very good chance that we will end up at the same camp session next year, and even though I no longer have to talk to him during the year, at camp he's going to assume we're best friends again. I don't want to hang with him AT ALL it's one of the few things I will not do to myself. But I can't really tell him that either because he's depressed and who knows what would happen. And I really have given him a chance, he's just not my type, and I feel bad for him because he's not ANYONES type. So I'd feel really guilty even if he WASN'T depressed. Please please reply. I have no clue what to do. I have asked so many people for advice, including a camp counselor whos a psychology major and always has a solution, and even she was stumped. If you can come up with anything please let me know. I also cannot just skip camp because it is the one part of the year I really look forward to and it's the best part of my life, but with him stalking me, it's not.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I would probably just say in a polight way " You really need to back off a little bit because I need my personal space" but in a nicer way.
]
alright this is a hard one but maybe just explain to him that you only like him as a friend. tell him you only want to be friends. he may be annoying but he also needs some help if he is depressed. just be a friend to him and thats it. if he asks you out..just say "no sorry..i just want to be friends." also encourage your friends to be nice to him..so he wont be as depressed..im sorry if i didnt help..but i tried my best! mauhh
]
arite listen im not 100% sure this would work but i guess it's better then nothing..i have honestly been in this position were this kid would bother me like crazy i'd blow him off or be like your so annoying when i was in a bad mood and he'd figure i was kidding or somthing he liked me for the longest time and i liked him at one point cuz he is cute but he's one of those kids were he's only cute sometimes and once you become close with him it's too close. he doesn't have te greatest life his parents are divorced he lives with his mom and his dad is a drug attic and i guess i always felt bad. he lies about a lot of stuff to make his life seem even worse but i always find out he's lieing and yell at him and i guess that's what always bothered me about him. i saw him walkin around once so me and my friend went up to him and were gona talk about it with him cuz he was alone but he was drunk so we couldn't we knew he'd forget everything. so i called him that night and was like listen i'm not sayin we can't be friends cuz i enjoy your company but sometime too much company is too much for me. sometimes you take it to the point were you dont leave me alone and it bothers me. he seemed really upset about it and the next day in school he wouldn't even look at me. for the next like week and a half he wouldn't talk to me or anything and i was actualyl really happy cuz i didnt have him breathin on my back every five seconds but one day like a month later he told my friend he missed me a lot and he still liked me. i went up to him to talk about it and he said that he just didn't want it to be like this so i was like well i didn't say we couldn't talk i just don't want you always on top of me and he actually understood. he said hi to me in the halls when i passed him called me once and a while and everything was fine..now your case mite not be that easy cuz you said that he wasn't really anybodys type but i'd just try it and if you find out because he's depressed he's gona do somthin like i hope not but like go suicide or somthin then you confront him and say there's other girls out there and go to the mall or somthin and find him a girl..that's what i would do i really hope i helped
]
Make sure that you're hanging out with the people that you actually do like and when you see him approaching tell your friends to make up something so you can tell him that you guys are on your way to do something and you'll talk to him later and just make it seem you're busy, and then if he trys to see you later just blow him off but do it in a nice way, ex: if he talks to you say something to one of your friends and act like you dont hear him, or say hold on a sec and then start talking and pretend like you totally forgot about him, he'll probably just decide to go away.
]
There is nothing worse than hanging out with someone because you pity them. If you pitied him before talking to him and he turned out to be cool, that fine, but just to let the leech hang on is not healthy.
Don't let him browbeat you into being with him. He is a control freak and using you for his benefit. If he's depressed he needs help, but you don't need him. He isn't going to die because you aren't talking to him. You need to send a very strong message that you aren't interested in being or hanging out with him. And you just have to continue to ignore him no matter how confrontational he gets.
]
id say if u dont like him os much ignore him
OR FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL HANG WITH HIM
ps i think its kind of mean u dont like him your probally the only friend he has thats why he hangs wid u all the time
Duh
happy thanksgiving love Ashley
]
Okay wow.... this is a tough one. But I would have to say to just either ignore him at camp, or tell him that you don't want to be around him as much. I can tell that you can't tell him he is annoying because of the depression but you could tell him to leave you alone for and while and only talk to you once and a while. It's better than nothing. By next camp session he might be over his depression, and you'll just have to not feel guilty. He would eventually get over that and you'll just have to deal with it. I hope I helped and good luck at camp!
]
More Questions: |