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This friend
Ok, i have this friend, lets call her Jane. Jane used to be really friendly last year, and we were REALLY good friends. Now, we're still friends, but shes not very friendly anymore, she lies all the time, she steals away the guys i like, and shes just not the same Jane she used to be. What do i do? Do i tell her?
-Concerned Chick
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Aww that's so sad but I understand how you feel! It happend to me this year! I'm a freshman and since we've gotten into highschool it's been all mixed up. But there was this one girl lets call her Brianna...well brianna was not talking to me but we were like awesome friends last year so i talked to her about it and i was like why havnet you been talking to me latley and then we just started talking and now we are awesome freinds again. I dunno just confront "Jane" about it! Lots Of Love XOXO Brandi
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yeah well this sounds familar to what happened to me in 5th grade (*cough*hillary*cough*) but anyways just let it go i was really hurt when it happened to me but it just goes to show that shes not a real friend (check my column out and rate me..good luck;) <3)
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hey! you should definitely tell your friend. she might not realize that shes changing and/or stealing the guys that you like away from you. talk to her about how you feel about the whole change, but dont accuse her, otherwise she wont want to listen to you since you're accusing her of all these things. just tell her the facts, talk to her about it, and hope she understands. hope i helped, peace and love!
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If you and Jane are or were such good friends, then why can't you just be honest with her?
And how can you still call her your friend when she is doing what you say she is?
People change and sometimes friends grow apart. Which sounds like you and Jane.
YES, tell her. Be straight forward!
Confront her about everything she is doing, and if your friendship doesn't withstand the talk, then you two aren't really friends anymore.
If she owns up to what she's doing then maybe there is something deeper in all of this. She might be jealous of you.
If Jane isn't honest with you when you confront her, then just cut ties. You don't need a friend who can't be truthful to you.
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DEFINTELY. The most important thing in a friendship is communication. Who knows, your friend might not realize that she's been bugging you lately. In fact, you might even be bothering her. So I say you definitely talk to her. Just call her or talk to her at school one day and tell her that she's been acting different lately, and it's bugging you. Whatever you do, try not to yell or point out all her faults. Stay calm and hopefully she will too. And if she gets mad, look at it from her point of view.
After working things out, be sure to hang out more and have a special day just for you two, like old times. And if she can't accept the fact that she's changed a little and won't try to make your friendship better, then she wasn't a very good friend in the first place. Hope all goes well! Post me back.
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Hi Sweetie,
Jane's a bitch (sorry...) She could had been a really frienldly person but now.. she can't be trusted. You're really (and I mean reeaaalllyyy) sweet to call her a friend. You deserve better. She should know that and you should figure it out too.
I've been bitchy and cold to people (which I've come to regret and hated myself for it) so I really DON'T sympathize with her. However you should still give her a warning. Let her know that if she doesn't start treating you like a friend than you'll just have to go hang out with people who are actually good enough for you.
I'm sorry if I'm not help. I hope Jane changes and (...even if eventually) becomes a better person. Best wishes to BOTH of you. ~Blessed Be...
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Concerned Chick, you've gotta tell Jane what's going through your mind. She's not psychic - she can't know you think she's changed unless you tell her. Give her examples, and maybe tell her you feel like she's stealing away the guys you like.
You should always communicate your feelings if something's bothering you. Lack of communication is a BIG killer of all kinds of relationships, not just boyfriend/girlfriend ones. So speak your mind, chica!
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Since your her friend, you should tell her and maybe that would work. Tell her she's been acting different and that you don't like the different Jane. If that works maybe she will change. Good luck!!
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If you and Jane are still in highschool, you already know that there is tons of cliques. It could be possible that Jane wants to be in a different type of group or has started hanging out with people in a different type of clique. Another reason why she's changed might be because Jane is going through a ton of problems right now. It could be friends, family, boyfriend...etc. The only way you'll know what her reason for acting this way is to confront her. Tell her what you've asked. But please be cautioned about what she might think when you ask her. For instance if you say "I CAN'T STAND YOU ANYMORE!!! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM...ALL YOU DO IS LIE AND STEAL AND I HATE IT!!!!..etc. you'll come across as being harsh and bitchy. So she may react to that the same way. So it's a lot better to be respectful to her. Ask her firmly but calm if she's going through something and if she wants to talk about it. Go on about how you notice the difference in her personality, also mention everything you listed. (stealing guys you like, lying)
It's always hard to see someone you knew for a long time change within a short period of time. But you need to take care of yourself too...you're an important part of this. I'm not saying that you're the reason for her actions, but that your opinion matters most to you and maybe her if you speak up. Honestly, sometimes people change for unexplained reasons. And with that said she may never return to the way you knew her as. If that happened it would affect your friendship with her. This is a very typical problem...and a lot of people have been through this. Even you're good friends with someone it won't be that way forever. But on a happier note, she may understand what you're trying to tell her. Jane could stop what she's doing that's annoying you and try to go back to who she was before. No matter what...tell her you're there for you. You did this all out of concern. Let her know that. I hope everything turns out okay, let me know how it goes! :D
Love,
Mandee
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absloutely tell her. sit down with her and talk about whta has changed. dont make her out to be the bad guy though and defenatly dont go all doctor hil on her but a nice friendly balance is good and if she doesnt understand or want to change than maybe shes not really your friend.
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Hey girlie, I know how you feel. I had a friend just like that. They do that to get attention. I would tell her, but say something like, “Remember the good times we shared? I miss the old jane” she'll realize that someone misses the old her. Good luck with telling her : ). X0ox adriana
Holla acha girlie! : - )
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