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Can you help me
Hi I am Renee and my hubby Ray is working this job and he says it is for a better life for us but he is never home and when he is home all we do is argue, well he has cheated in the past so you know that runs in the back of my mind all the time but I took him back because I believe in my vows and it was great. Well now he works with this girl that is around all the time, and he comes home all hours of the night. My question is how do I make things right between us and get my point across with out fighting and make him understand me? I love him and I think I can trust him but I don't know how much. Please help me and tell me what I can do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't argue. Don't dwell on the past, because it will only put you in that mindset of depression and disbelief (drepression because he cheated and disbelief that you're still married, trying to pick up the pieces.) You have to plan what you're going do about your marriage very carefully so that neither one of you does anything to further damage your relationship. Here's what I suggest: Don't stay up at night to argue with him when he gets home. If he comes in way past dinner time, make sure that you're in bed getting a good night's rest. Fatigue and anger serves to start an arguement and drain your energy once it's over. You don't need that. Get up an hour or so earlier than him so you can unplug the phone, hide his car keys or fix him his favorite treat/meal and run a bubble bath. Yes, a bubble bath. Tell him that you want to do something nice for him since he works so hard and offer to scrub his troubles away in the tub. (It's called catering to a man's ego to get what you want.) And what you want is to talk to him about your future together. Be smooth. Don't open up with "I think we need to talk about last night...or five moths ago..." because every man sees it as a negative and will put their guard up in preparation for a fight. Instead, ask him what he generally wants out of life. (bathe him and talk at the same time.) Allow him to talk about his hopes and dreams, all the while you're politely inserting some of your hopes and dreams. This is an opening exercise for the real talk that you want to have with him. Spoon-feed him understanding and sensitivity when you get around to asking him to stay at home so you can work on your dreams together and watch the man open up to you like Oprah. But remember to be smooth. If you had just taken the keys and refused to let him out of the house unless you guys "talked about it", then it probably would have given him a reason to go out and get drunk or do something equally stupid. Make one of his days off a day just for the two of you and remind him (and yourself) of a time when the loving came easier than the arguements did. The whole point of this is to have your own kind of inexpensive theraphy. Try to do things like this as much as possible and I promise you that the late nights will eventually stop and that girl will be nothing more than a distant memory.
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First of all....I hear you love your husband.... But the question is, Do you love yourself? I respect you for wanting to abide by your vows, but that stance only works if you both are. Also, if you trusted him, none of this would be going through your mind.
If you want to have a conclusion to the issue, you are going to need to stand up for yourself...and demand his respect regarding this woman. I would also reccomend that you seek couples counceling. Most churches offer some type of marital counceling. Good luck and please let me know how it works out.
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HMM.. i would say that dont give him a reason to stray. when he comes home, he mihgt be tired so help him relax. dont argue with him. and if things are where u cant handle them, calmy talk to him. those vows you took do mean something. and he probaly just has stress and is tired
*-* PrI *-*
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try to get your dearest friend to talk to him for you he can let out anger or anything that is going on between you 2
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Well Renee...I think that if you can't 100% trust him, then you definately need some repairs in your relationship. If he cheated on you once, what makes you think he won't do it again? And if you guys barely see eachother n when u do , u argue....are you even happy? Hmm...to make things right between you, maybe you should try making things work. If you guys are about to get into an agreement, just dont fight bak...agree with what he's saying...do that a couple of times and if he loves you he will obviously see how giving and understanding you are...and he'll realize that wow she really loves me and listens to me....and that will make him want to be sweeter with you all the time as well. good luk!
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Thats a really hard situation..Have you two ever seeked professional help? Like marriage counciling, etc? I think that it would be a good idea to go do that. It's kind of an uneasy idea of him getting home that late at night and with that other girl always around..Since there is history or him cheating on you, you might need to watch out a little bit more closely..Remember, don't ever be naive and think that he will never cheat on you again,etc, because men will be men. Im sure you love him with all your heart, and he loves you with all his heart, but if I were you, I would do some checking out of where he really might be at the late hours of the night. That might be a little sneaky, but you think you're going to get the truth out of him if he really IS cheating on you?I dont think so. There is no shame in that..good luck,
love kristin
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Well first of all you should sit down with him and talk to him about your relationship. Ask him if he really wants this or if he isn't ready to be committed. Tell him how you feel and what you think he is doing and give him time to explain. I think you can trust him..maybe him and the girl at work are just friends, it may seem more to you but that is because you love him and you care alot about him! Sorry if this doesn't help!
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