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Dealing with Trust....REALLY LONG
In December my dad lost his job. But about a month later became self employed. By then my mom had been suspecting that hes cheating on her... now my mom has confroted him about it((about 3 months ago)) and he has admitted to having a "friendship" whith the lady.He tells my mom that hes nothin with her JUST friends. So my mom asked him to please tell her to stop callin and to just loose all contact.Thing is my mom tells me everything and my dad has always been a role model to me... well mom and i went to his work when he wasnt there and set up a caller id well we found out that shes still callin at like 1am and 2am when hes sopposly painting a car. Sometimes dad doesnt come home till 3 or so. I see how this effects my mom who literally does EVERYTHING in the house and it makes me ANGRY! She crys constantly only shes like me and shell hide before she crys. Well ive been catching her and it hurts me soo much soo then i get really mad at my dad and sometimes all i want to do is Scream in his face and kick him out of the house! I want to tell him to please leave the lady hes having an affair with but i dont know how i dont want him gettin mad at me. Thats when my whole "indenil" stage pops up! i start to think that hes not and when she brings it up i get fusturated and ignore her or justr say some rude comment. Which makes her cry more! I just wanna know what to do without making my dad mad and my mom cry... should i write him a letter telling him how i feel???? ALSO my mom says she doesnt want me talkin to him about it but its effect my relationship with him... WHAT THE HECK DO I DO?
Ps. i have a boifriend and hes really supportive about this he gives me a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to me with but i feel like i cant be happy with my mom goin through her problems cause i feel like im rubbing it in her face HELP ME.....
Backed up in a corner
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well.. wow.
i think yu shoul sit them both down an talk to them both an maybe yu suggest them goin 2 a counciler or maybe yu shoul tell yur dad that hez hurtin yur mom an that yu don wan him ta do that so he shoul jus leave.. keep wit yur boyfriend bc he will help yu.. if stuff gets to bad jus go take a walk or jus get outta the house. but be there for yur mom when she is readi ta talk
hope it gets better.. if yu need anything e mail me .. xxpriti1npinkxx@aol.com
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A letter would be good. Leavee it some where he'll see before he goes to work. Sorry babe it sounds really tough but anyone can get through this. Explain in this letter how hes broken a lot of trust and how you used to look at him as such a good role model and now all that is shattered. Ask him for the sake of you to change his life styles... and make commitments to your mother. EXPLAIN everything you feel. Everything. DOnt leave out one little detail. Something needs to be done. And if he wont do it for your mom atleast he'll do it for his own daughter.
good luck hun.. if you need ANYTHING leave one in my inbox ill help you through. You can IM me anytime you want also. Good luck Hun!
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I think you should write a letter to your mom and your dad. In your dad's letter you should let hin know, not only how much his relationship is hurting your mom, but also how much it is hurting you. Also point out that you have always looked up to him, but his current behavior is making it hard to do so now. In your mom's letter, let her know that you will always be there for her, and tht you appreciate her trusting you enough to share everything her. But gently remind her that she's the parent and that you don't feel comfortable bearing all this weight on your shoulders. Just be open and honest with both of them. Tell them how sad, angry, and scared you are. I've often found that it's easier to get your thoughts down on paper, than it is to say them out loud.
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woAh MiSs tRust,
your situation is kinda ddeep i dunno what to do . i dont like to talk to me dad cuz hes really *lets just say not what other dads are* but if your parents get a devorce its not your fault. but talk to your dad. tell himhow you feel. n if he loves you. hell unda stand.
xox MAnda xox
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idk ur name but u sound lyk a kacey to me! lol ok heres wat i think u shood do kacey... i think u shood write both of ur parents a letter. then go frome there. w/e u do or think IT IS NOT UR FAULT wat is happening. so if u start to think it is... remind urself its not!!! well kacey i hope i helped!!
plx rate
lol buh bye kacey!!
~katie
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Aww, honey, that's awful...
I really think you should talk to your dad and just tell him exactly what's on your mind. I know your mom doesn't want you to, but I think you need to step in.
It's hurting your mom, and it's hurting you. You might have to tell him you know about the late night phone calls, but I don't think that's necessary.
He needs to stop doing this. All it's doing is hurting his family.
Your dad might get mad, but the way I see it, you have every right to speak your mind, and every right to be just as mad as he might get.
You could write a letter to him, if you'd feel more comfortable doing that than talking to him face-to-face.
I hope this helped, and I hope things work out!
-Siren =)
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Talk to your dad...or even that option up there. Write him a letter.Its so sad that your moms crying and by this time I would have definetely talked to my dad. Tell him that if he really loves your mom then he needs to stop talking to that lady and stop hiding things,because thats not what mirriage is about.Its about honesty,love,and loyalty. Tell him that.GOOD LUCK! i'll pray for your family.(not to sound preachy but im christian :) ANd I hope everything works out.Email me w/ the outcome k?i'd love to heard how everything turns out.
:.tasha.:
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I'm so sorry, I know exactly how you feel. My dad's had a girlfriend for 3 years and recently had a baby boy with her. (My parents are currently getting divorced.) You need to stand up to your dad. I was so afraid to for so long, but you need to write him a letter. Don't be purposefully rude unless you want to, but tell him what you told me:
"It makes me angry when I see what you've done to our family. It's not fair to lie to us. You're still my dad, even when you do wrong things, but I don't want to do ruin our family."
You might have to change it to make it sound a little more like you but it should work. Good luck and hang in there!
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wow first of all i wanan say sorry that is a very tough situation ur in and it is soooooo great that u r trying to work it out and not hurt anyones feelings or relationships at the same time. i think ur idea about writing a note is the easiest way. tell ur dad u need him in ur life to support u and help u with learning lessons about life and stuff that u need a dad for. and tell him all of ur feelings without being mean. just try to let him know that even thou its ur parents problem..that it affects u too. i hope this kinda helps..if u still need more help..leave one in the inbox
Twizzler
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I've been in a situation like this with my parents. Now you just have to realize that your dad is the one doing something wrong. Your mom must feel totally abandoned and unwanted. You have to try your best to be there for her bcuz you have your boyfriend to talk to, but she doesnt have anyone. Tell your dad how you feel this is ruining the relationship of all three of you, and anything else your feeling. Good luck and i hope things are alot better for you and your mom.
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