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This is not so much a request for advice as an asking for feedback on a random gripe...
I've only recently noticed, after years of what seems now to have been denial, that most everyone loves being unhappy, simply because it is the easiest and most familiar way to exist. After several attempts at being a good friend to many people, it is apparent that my helpful thoughts are shunned, and my existence ignored should they find any reason to be angry at the world. After speaking with a close friend of mine on this subject, their reply to my disgust was 'No Shit, people hate the truth and happiness, because they know that these things are better than what they have always had, and will most probably ever have.’
This upsets me greatly, because it has always been my policy of sorts to tell the truth and be as helpful as possible...Though I noticed as a child that even my mother gave me strange looks for this.
My question is: has anyone else recieved hatred in return for honest attempts at being helpful, or something similar?
I feel as though I've been blindsided by this concept, it is extremely confusing.
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Of course, but it's more simple than you may think. Sometimes they don't love being unhappy. It's the attention they receive when people think they are. Other times it's this case of pessimism, where people perceive the worst. They do this because of, maybe, something bad that happened. And in part, it's not the feeling that's the worst part for them, it's the shock. They think feeling depressed willfully will protect them from being blindsided with pain. If people wanted to live the easiest and most familiar way, they'd never move out. The reason your helpful thoughts are disregarded may be because of how they perceive them. Everyone, as you know, views each situation differently. If an outsider knew a husband was beating his wife, they would immediately come to the conclusion that she should keep away from him. The wife, however, might thing that her husband still loves her, and that he probably won't do it again. To some (like you and me) the answer comes too easily, and we are not brainwashed by the feelings that people have towards certain people or situations. You know that you have a good policy, so don't change it because of the reactions you get. You may want to take other things into consideration before you try to help. Like the fact that people do, in part, fear change, and find comfort in what they're used to, even though they would be much happier in a different place. From what I've learned, it's better to help people find out for themselves, as opposed to telling them. Hopefully some of what I said makes sense, and I didn't read your question wrong.
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you think too much. Theres always going to be problems... all you can do about it is either show your face on jerry springer or shut the hell up.
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I see and feel your pain.. or gripe.. and yes I too have been there. The main problem is... the truth hurts! In order to get through life unscaved.. and without blemishs to our soul, we convince ourselves that "it's their fault" or "whatever.. life sucks then you die." The fact of the matter is... people chose to be unhappy because it gives them an understanding of why things go wrong in their lives. I'm so wise on this subject because I just lived through it. For 3 years I was clinically depressed and did not know it. My OCD, which I had no clue I had until I was 16, had gotten out of control and I ended up extremely sick and in the hospital because I knocked my immune system down to the point of almost no return. I learned from my experience.. that only you can make urself happy and unfortunately society has learned to blame others for their unhappiness and for lack of better terminology, "sucky lives." No one wants to hear the truth because it represents flaws in themselves that they do not want to acknowledge. My best advice to you about this is... keep doing what your doing but warn the person first by saying.. "I'm going to be truthful here and/or blunt... and if you really want to hear it.. I will say it.. if not tell me now." Well.. I hope this helps and remember... BE HAPPY and hopefully others will get the hint too! Hope this helps.
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i know how you feel
sum1 gave me a 1 for sumthin stupid, i don't remember now, but it was practically the same thing every1 else wus sayin and i said it first, i don't get it
and sum1 asked about weight lost, i gave them a site, and told them i wasn't tryin to be rude, and gave them a comment, and they are such jerks
i've never actually been BRUTALLY honest like Derfel or sumthin, but i've givin my honest opinions n stuf, and the people are like f*** off b****
grr it just makes me so mad
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Ever heard the term "brutally honest" or "hurting to help". Most of the time when you give a completely honest answer the reciever is going to get mad. Not because your being honest but because your telling them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. Half the time when someone complains about something or is having a problem they tell it to people not for help but for attention. They don't want someone to help, they want someone to be a good audience, to sigh and laugh at the cue times.
To answer qestion, your not alone. About everyone has faced a friend that has snapped at them for being to honest. Or had some random person give you a weird look for saying what you really want to say.
Don't worry about it and no matter what someone does or says, continue to be honest. It's better for them to hear the truth then to be lied at, and it will help them later even if they don't realize it then. luv yah, Em'lee
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yes i have been shunned for my honesty. people can be ignorant some times. so don't let it bring you down. girdy_goo15
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