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This Poem
I'm not sure i got this poem sounding right; anyone please gimme a hand.
Fallen Hero
I looked up to a figure
I once deemed to be the best.
But as time slipped to the second,
My faith was put to the test.
Me hero was declined
Of his powerful throne,
Shoved to the side
And deprived of all he called his own.
I stood with the disappointed
Who late looked him on,
And surprisingly found myself
Not nearly as drawn.
As I turned my back,
Shaking my head,
He uttered his final words
And the next second he’s dead.
I found myself thinking twice
Of what I had once thought.
After hearing his words,
My attention, he begot.
“Take care of your hate,
“For soon you’ll regret
“For not helping the one
“To whom your actions were once set.
“Don’t be afraid of difference-
“That’s what makes us all unique.
“If we copied and begged sameness,
“Then all would be bleak.
“Cherish what you believe
“And this is the last I have to say:
“Don’t turn your back again
Like you’d done today.”
**!~Denice~!**
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ok that was way awsome i totally liked it. u r really good there is this site called poetry.com u should go there and enter this poem. u can win money like tons of it well any way keep up the good work it was totally awsome if u have more e-mail me at mealation@aol.com
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That is the best poem i hav ever heard
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very nice. the beat is off in a few places, like some of the others have said, but nothing a quick edit won't fix. It's got good rhyme and it's pretty good!
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Good-trix
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Congrats to the poet! I give you a 10. It seems like you worked really hard on that poem. I'm glad that you have a sensitive side in your heart. I hope you like my answer.
~Chelsea~
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it was really good. some parts were a lil off beat but other than that it was good. it kinda reminded me more of a song than a poem. keep up the good work...:)
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Hey! That's a really good poem! Keep up tha good work! =)
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thats cute
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It all sounded awesome except for the beat seemed to be a little off in the second stanza fourth line. Maybe if you shortened that line two beats it would be better, unless it's supposed to sound like that. It is really good!!!
Lizzy
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OMG!! DENICE I LOVE YORU POEMS!!!! THEY ARE SOOOOO AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wow!!! [ how come i haven't read that one b4?? u shuld've put "valentine kisses" on!! k
<<33 lotz
c ya
k-lee
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