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Oh, the confusion.
Yeah, so I don't usually ask questions, but I'm curious as to what you all think I should do.
I've been thinking about, er...going all the way with my boyfriend. I'm sixteen. He's seventeen, turning eighteen in late May. I know I'm young, but...eh. He hasn't been pressuring me at all, so that's not an issue. He loves me, I love him, we're planning, if all goes well, to live together when we graduate. I trust him and everything, but I'm concerned about the risks involved. I could get pregnant...I'm not worried about STDs because no one in either of our families has ever had one. Oh, and we're both virgins, in case you couldn't tell...Lol. I'm also just thinking...my mom has always told me "if you ever want to become sexually active, you should come to me so we can get you birth control. I wouldn't be happy with you, but I'd get you protection. If you ever got pregnant, I'd make you have an abortion." I can't imagine actually talking to her about it. It would be so horridly awkward, and she'd be so unhappy with me...My mom and I are fairly close. I'm also not sure if I'm ready. I mean, we've come close a few times, and I sorta panicked. I've just been thinking about it more lately and it's starting not to freak me out so much. What should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm 19 and was in youer postion earlyer this year, youer mom no matter what she says DOSE NOT WANT TO KNOW YOU ARE HAVEING SEX, no matter what she says. I suggest going to planed parenthood, or youer local health deprment to get get birth controll, because you are under 18 thay might require a perantal concent form, to percribe you aney thing. but what happens between you and a doctor stays between you and the doctor. Sex is all so a big step in a realshinship, make shure even with birth controll pills, that you use a condom, pills are only about 75% effective on by them sels, with a condom it gos up to about 99.5%.
And just so you know STD's usally don't come from some on in youer family. A STD comes from what is's named for Sexually Transmitted Dease. That means you get it from having sex, wichis why even with clean people it is important to all way use a comdom. Having sex is a big responsiblity too once you start haveing sex you need to go to youer doctor to have a pelvic exame at lest once a year, and if you have maltple partners, if not now but in the future, you need to get tested for STD's regulary. ok well i don't want you to think this is some lecture saying sex is bad if its pre-marital, thats up to you. you should just know the facts befour you do aney thing. ok? and be SAFE. this is planed parenthoods web sight, [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Please don't think i'm a nut job just cuz i cant spell well, i have been thear and done that.
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Oh! I hope you get to read this!!! I am 21 yrs old and was in your same shoes when I was 16... which was not that long ago. It is very important that if you decide to have sex with your boyfriend that you do it because YOU want to....not for any other reason!!! Also, you can go to the health Department and get on birth Control without your mother knowing if you feel to uncomfartable to tell her. The service is FREE of charge and they will in NO way contact your parents. Another thing, just because neither one of your family members has ever had a std doesn't mean anything. Sex is a very big step and not something that you can take back! Make sure it is with someone you love and someone that you know love's you back.
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If you feel like you can't talk to your mom about it, even jokingly, you are not ready. And just because he wants to have sex doesn't mean you have to with him. He should respect what you have to say and not have sex. I think it's great that you're both virgins. Live it while you can.
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Be as careful as you can. Sex is not a stigmatic thing even though American culture both embraces and is repulsed by it. Many people are taught in childhood that everything relating to sex is wrong and dirty; then the media pressures emotionless, loveless scrumping.
You have given me hope that you aren't doing it for the wrong reasons. I was sixteen when I had sex for the first time, with my (at the time) 18-year-old boyfriend, and several years later we are still together. We waited six months into the relationship before we even tried anything. I have never been pregnant and I credit this to our careful use of contraceptives and monthly timing.
A woman should ovulate approximately 14 days after the START of her period, so the very end of the period and the beginning of the week after are the safest times to have sex in order to avoid pregnancy. Always use a condom, spermicide if you can get it, and be careful. Just keep your head about you, and if you feel like you want to progress your relationship this way, trust me--if you love the person you're with, it always gets better, never worse.
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Sex always has a lot of potentially awkward things associated with it. (No matter how old you are.) You have to ask yourself whether you're ready to deal with all the stuff like procuring birth control, the possibility of accidental pregnancy (which can happen even with contraceptives, of course), etc. And of course, talking about that stuff with your partner. If you think you can identify those issues and handle them, great, but if not, you probably should hold off a while.
(Oh, and I might have misunderstood what you were saying about STDs, but whether or not your family members have ever had one has absolutely nothing to do with whether you might get one. If you're both virgins, you're probably safe on that count, though.)
Finally, your mom may take it better than you think. (If you've been dating your boyfriend for long enough, I'd guess that she's been mentally preparing herself for the possibility for a while.) If you can be honest with her and show her that you're handling the situation maturely, she just may surprise you. :)
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It sounds to me like you're a very mature sixteen year old who is 'Ready' for sex. You're considering the risks and thinking logically about it. If you love each other, having sex is one of the most intimate ways of expressing that love, and you seem to realise that. If you don't want to tell your mother, though, ask your boyfriend if he'll go to the GP with you, or go alone if you feel comfortable. You can get the birth control pill on prescription (or at family planning clinics), and condoms are a good idea too. Good luck :)
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It sounds like you are what many would call "ready" to go all the way with your boyfriend. If you are willing to have sex with him just make sure, as you said, that it is protected. Use a condom, make sure neither your boyfriend nor you have any sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDs. Even though you SHOULD tell your mom the truth, sometimes you have to draw the line at stuff that your parents should and should not be participating in. It's perfectly normal to not tell your parents about your sexual life. I'm sure that when your mom was sexually active she didn't go around saying "Can I have sex with so and so, Mommy?" However, if you're comfortable telling her then that's just fine. All I can say is be safe and have fun!
-Joce
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Well if you feel comfortable having sex and your boyfriend does too then your mom shouldn't have a say in it. I know this isn't what you were asking but I personally think you should wait until you are older. Your pretty young now and you don't want to ruin your life if an accident does happen.
If you do choose to have sex with him then you don't need your moms help with birth control and things and can do that on your own. Be responsible though.
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