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Letting Go
I'm 25/Female and stuck! I'm in a serious relationship, but still haven't completely gotten over my first relationship back in high school. That guy and I don't talk anymore, but he constantly visits my website, so I know he's at least thinking of me too. My question is, is it a bad idea to make contact with him, or am I setting myself for more trouble by just being silent? I guess it depends if you're practical or whimsical, and I'm a little of both.
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i can tell you right now if you 2 arnt over each other and you talk its not gonna come out good. since i dont know your bf i cant really tell u hes gonna get jelouse but there will be some jelousey there. i say dont talk to him it might come out bad. but if you think itll help get over him then talk to him
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The two of you no longer talk, he is constantly checking on your website, and you still haven't completely gotten over him.
I really can't think of a solution that will maintain your current relationship based on your situation. If you contact your ex boyfriend and he does still have feelings for you, then all you'll be able to think about if you continue your current relationship is what your life would be like if you were with your ex boyfriend. If he doesn't have feelings for you, then your situation hasn't changed: you're still hung up on your ex boyfriend, and it's not fair to keep dating your current boyfriend if he isn't really the person that you want to be with. Your ex boyfriend may not be the man that you'll end up with, but judging by your feelings it appears that your current boyfriend won't be that man either.
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I wouldn't get into contact with him unless you feel completely comfortable talking to him in front of your boyfriend. It could possibly be that your ex is kind of your "go to" guy whenever you start feeling unhappy in a relationship. If you ever really want to be with a person, don't start sneaking behind your current boyfriend's back because if you and the guy you're cheating with do get together, he's always going to know in the back of his mind you're a cheat. Plus, rebound relationships are always hellfire painful in the long run.
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be and will be at the right time. He is just checking in to let you know where he is if you need to reach him, and it ain't bad having a decent guy in your back pocket.
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High school was 7 or 8 years ago, depending on your age as a senior.
Just because he visits your website doesn't mean he's interested in you- maybe he just wants to keep in touch. Maybe you were important to him, and he just likes talking to someone from his past. It's refreshing.
Don't give up your relationship for your past one, unless of course you have complete reason to believe this guy still likes you, and you're ready to give up what you have for what you had.
--Jack
(17/m)
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Um, what would you be looking for by making contact? A second chance with lost love or a "Hey Dude, how's it going?" Also, do you plan on bringing up this plan to the guy with whom you're in a serious relationship?
See, you're setting yourself up for little trouble (but way less romanticism) by telling your fella' your intentions and then, if he doesn't implode, tracking the other guy down. But play fair, he might have an implosion at home too. Don't screw your girlfriend karma, but don't be silent because then it just festers and the High School memory develops charms in your mind that even he won't be able to live up to.
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if you cant get over him then you are stuck in the past find out about why he is visiting your website maybe he wans you back maybe he just likes your website you have to follow your heart it will lead you to the right decision take care
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In my opinion, you are in for trouble. If you and your ex-boyfriend broke up then there must have been a reason. If you get back together again then I'm sure that you will find another problem and end up breaking up. Then you may end up getting together and breaking up... AGAIN! Don't set yourself up for this, I've seen it happen in many occasions. Make sure you wait to find that perfect guy. You might want to consider becoming friends again with your ex-boyfriend though.
-Joce
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It depends what you're hoping will come of this. If, in your heart, you're hoping to rekindle your relationship with your high school boyfriend, I think there are clearly problems with your "serious relationship" that you need to address first. I mean, how would you feel if your current boyfriend tried to get back together with his ex behind *your* back?
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Are you really in a "serious" relationship if you think of your last love? Or maybe you just regret a few things...if so, just try not do them again with your current.
I don't see anything wrong with you and him being friends. But JUSY friends. Ok?
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