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mom
Why is it that every time I talk to my mother on the phone she somehow steers the question towards the fact that I'm not married? I thought she was all proud of me for being a tough independent woman but that all flies out the window when the subject of love comes up. My boyfriend and I are in no hurry to get married, and this is like a personal insult to her or something. I don't get it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.BUT YOU ARE NOT YOUR MOTHER AND YOU NEED TO TELL HER WHEN YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND ARE READY TO MAKE THAT STEP YOU WILL.WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT FOR BOTH OF YOU BOTH OF YOU WILL KNOW IT.NEVER BE IN A HURRY TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE THAT IS A BIG,BIG STEP AND YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO STAY WITH THAT PERSON TILL DEATH DO YOU PART.YOU MOTHER HAS
LIVED MOST OF HER LIFE OUT AND NOW SHE NEEDS TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A GROWN AND INTEELIGENT WOMAN AND YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN MIND UP ABOUT WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU.
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Let her know that you don't want to make a rush decision for her benefit and that you want to make sure who you marry is the right person. There's too many marriages out there based on the wrong reasons-MOMS GETTING THEIR WAY!! Tell her to wake up, it's a new century. Ask her if she wants you to marry for all the wrong reasons or does she want you to have a no fail loving marriage?
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Take into consideration the era in which she grew up. Marriage was the norm for decades. She likely wants for you what she considers the best situation due to her own upbringing.
But, if it continues you might suggest to her that the subject has been covered enough. You have made a personal life choice for now. You would be happy to talk with her on a different subject.
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say to her firmly "i'm not going to talk about marriage anymore, i'm happy with my boyfriend and we're not getting married anytime soon." and then the next time she talks about marriage hang up.
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She want's grandchildren! :-o!!!
It's a thing...just tell her that your not married and that at least you can take care of yourself...look at all you have done...YOUR AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN! woo-hoo!
at least she wants the best for you. that is what counts.
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Hey, I'm an eighteen year old single girl, and my mum is always going on about me not having a boyfriend. I think that maybe your mum wants what's best for you and only wants to see you happy - maybe she wants to make sure that the guy you're seeing at the moment is genuine and won't hurt you. But I think she probably is proud of you, for being tough and proving you are independant, but just has your best interests at heart. If you are uncomfortable with it, perhaps you can tell her that you're happy with the way things are, and you're in no hurry to get married, and then steer the conversation in another direction. Good luck, hope all works out :)
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I sort of had this problem...but it was more of the "Brandon likes you...go out with him! He's a nice boy." and I'm sixteen, so I'm not old enough to be married. It really is a mother thing. My mom wanted me to be independent, but then wondered why I didn't have a boyfriend. *Eyeroll* Have you asked your mom what you just asked us? She would probably be better at explaining this than us, since we have no way of getting into her head. However, I suspect she just wants to see a wedding. It's good that you and your boyfriend are taking your time. Go with your instincts, and if you haven't asked her this question, I suggest you do so. It'd probably clear up a lot. After all, miscommunication is a BIIIIIIIIIG killer of all sorts of relationships, including familial. =)
-Siren
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It's a mother thing. My mom always goes off on the "Nice Boy" tangent, even when we're talking about my high GPA, hard work, responsibility, etc etc.
If you learn how to block it out and not let it get to you, everything will be ok. If you want to find someone, you'll find them in time... don't make your mom rush you into anything.
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