Ok see here is the problem,I really want a boyfriend but I am afraid I will not get one because i am what some people call gothic and what other people call punk or a skater.I dont know what to do!I really want a boyfriend i feel so lonely without one what can i do to get one without changing who i am or what i belive in? Also i dont like getting rejected i think it is akward.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? playahata_14 answered Thursday January 8 2004, 6:35 pm: Dont worry about what other people thank about you. You are who you are and thats all that matters. i never thought i would get a b/f but when i was just about to give up i found luv. he is so sweet and i am soo in luv with him and he has never felt this way b-4!! but my mom and everyone else always told me that when u least expect it youll find someone. if they dont like u for who u r... then you dont need them. you will find someone i promise. you wont have to change anything about you. there are plenty of guys out there in this world there are like 1 bazillion guys and you just have to look around further than you are. [ playahata_14's advice column | Ask playahata_14 A Question ]
SilverLilly answered Thursday January 8 2004, 3:34 pm: Find someone who is like you. or u can just go up to a person u like and talk to them but dont ask them out right out because that might scare them. Just because ur a goth/punk/skater doesn't mean ur different, when u try to find a boyfriend find someone who wont change you. [ SilverLilly's advice column | Ask SilverLilly A Question ]
christen answered Thursday January 8 2004, 11:13 am: Get a gothic boyfriend! or just find someone who you are close to so that they can help hook you up! it helps if you put out. [ christen's advice column | Ask christen A Question ]
metawidget answered Thursday January 8 2004, 1:31 am: I've seen couples of very differing styles before, and very different outlooks... sometimes they even work out... well, head over to Spacefem.com, do the boyfriend quiz, then I wish you the best in your endeavour. If it's any consolation, I'm definitely unGoth, nonPunk and skateless, and there are girls with those styles here and there that make me forget to breathe.
As for getting rejected, you kind of have to be ready for that. In the vast majority of cases, it will happen from time to time. But most of us don't like it either... although it is better than being left in suspense for weeks and weeks. [ metawidget's advice column | Ask metawidget A Question ]
rabidweasel answered Wednesday January 7 2004, 11:39 pm: hey i know what you are going through i too am what most people call "gothic" it has gotten me many look and stares but i have had no problem with finding people who belive in the same thing as me... keep looking look in places that you like go places that you enjoy and if you find someone there you guys obviously have somethig in common -me
alpha answered Wednesday January 7 2004, 9:59 pm: It doesn't sound like your problem is the lack of a boyfriend, to be honest. It sounds like you feel the people around you don't appreciate you for who you are. Trust me, a boyfriend is not the magic bullet for that.
If you want a relationship that's actually satisfying, that truly makes you feel less lonely, you have to take a step back. Focus first on making connections with the people in your world. (Why do you feel you have to change yourself to get someone to like you? It's easy to put people in boxes, and maybe they're doing that to you, but maybe you're doing the same thing if you assume they won't like you for you.) Start figuring out ways of getting to know people just for their own sake. Once you get comfortable doing that, you'll find it way easier to get close to a guy you're really interested in.
BTW, I'm assuming there aren't any other goth/punk/skater kids who are prospects for you? People who share common interests, who like the same bands, that kind of thing? Even if not, though, being a goth/punk/skater is only ONE side of your personality. You absolutely shouldn't have to change it if you're comfortable with it, but on the other hand, you should also explore other things about you that are interesting and cool and might help you find a place. Maybe you're a skater who also loves to sing. Maybe you're a goth who just happens to be a kickass martial artist. Maybe you've got the makings of a punk goddess of news reporting. You get the picture. The point is, you bond with people over the things you both find exciting, not just over personal style.
Oh, and as for getting rejected. Nobody likes getting rejected. Because it sucks. It's also not the end of the world, and it happens to EVERYONE (even gorgeous, popular, brilliant people) sooner or later. If you accept it as one of the normal hazards of being human, then it's a lot easier to move past it if it does happen to you. It's a lot less awkward, though, if you don't build up approaching someone into a huge deal. Yes, if you went up to someone and said, "I really, really like you, please be my boyfriend," and he said no, that would certainly be weird and unpleasant for you. On the other hand, if you ask him to come to a party, or see a movie, or do some activity that you both enjoy, and he says no, that's totally his problem and his loss. [ alpha's advice column | Ask alpha A Question ]
shay*shay answered Wednesday January 7 2004, 9:08 pm: Find a guy that is also refered to "gothic" or "punker". He'll know what you go through, but sometimes these things come when you least expest thm to.
-shay :-) [ shay*shay's advice column | Ask shay*shay A Question ]
amy1980 answered Wednesday January 7 2004, 8:50 pm: I would not change myself for a guy. You wouldn't really be happy. Find a guy who shares similar interests and hobbies.
Do realize that you can be a complete person without a guy. A boyfriend won't make you feel less lonely, it is better to work on your friendships, first. You must be complete in yourself before you can be happy in a relationship. A love affair is not a quick fix. [ amy1980's advice column | Ask amy1980 A Question ]
MichiruKaiou answered Wednesday January 7 2004, 8:22 pm: Well you can't rush these kind of things. Just be yourself, and eventually you'll meet that special someone. It may be long of a wait, may seem too long, but it'll be all worth it at the end. If you REALLY are rushing it, try a personals website. [ MichiruKaiou's advice column | Ask MichiruKaiou A Question ]
musicismyworld answered Wednesday January 7 2004, 7:48 pm: everyone is there individual self if someone really likes you they will like you for you wat for your time if you do things will be worth it everyone gets rejected atleast once dont think anything about it [ musicismyworld's advice column | Ask musicismyworld A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.