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ately I developed a liking towards a guy friend in my dorm.
Lately I developed a liking towards a guy friend in my dorm. Every time it was just the two of us together, or just the two of us and perhaps one other close friend, he would act very solicitous towards me--he would do small things such as put his arm around my shoulder, hold my books for me, etc. I have also had many wonderful conversations with him in his room and elsewhere. So I was hopeful until this week, when I found out that he has asked another girl to a date event and has feelings towards her. Now I wonder if he felt something towards me but was discouraged by my inaptitude in flirting--I have difficulty playing that whole game of hinting and whatnot. It's a foreign language to me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If it really seems like he's interested only in this other girl you may have missed the boat for now. Otherwise, don't mess around with the flirting. It's obvious that you're interested in him and trying to send him vague signals just isn't good for anyone. Guys are often very intimidated by that sort of thing and don't know whether women are interested in them or not. It likely has nothing to do with your abilities to flirt so much as everyone's inability to tell precisely what someone else is thinking.
The only way to be certain is to ask him out. Try something safe and only slightly more date-ish at first. I don't know your relationship so it's hard to suggest, but if you start things slowly and move towards a relationship from there the chances of overshooting the level of comfort and hurting your friendship will be lessened. If he isn't interested in that sort of relationship with you he'll probably notice and be able to let you down easily that he isn't interested in that.
Ultimately though the only way to deal with relationships is to be direct and honest about how you feel. This is important in all stages of a relationship, including those before it even starts.
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Hold steadfast onto your friendship; but also understand that the situation may feel awkward especially if this other girl turns out to be something serious. I feel strange giving advise on this as I went through something similar not to long ago...but I like to keep in mind that there are many, many fish in the sea. You may have lost your opportunity with him, but so what? Work on those flirting skills so the next hottie won't get away.
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Have you ever been interested in more than one person at the same time? I know I have. And if I'm single, it's pretty much a matter of going with whoever's showing interest in being with me.
That being said, from your description, it's difficult to say what his intentions are. He likes you. That much is apparent. Perhaps he felt a lack of interest from you, so went for the other gal. Perhaps he asked the other gal because he felt you wouldn't be interested. There are a million what-ifs. The only way to know which one is right is to talk to him. If you really like him, then it's worth your time to risk rejection and find out the story.
Next time you're together, ask him if the gal that he took to the date event is his g'friend. If you're really interested, but he's w/ her, just stick w/ being friends. That way, you'll get to know him better and when he's single again, if you're still interested, you can make it known that you're willing to go out with him.
Good luck.
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It is possible that he thought you were not interested in a romantic relationship if you didn't give any hints. I know where you are coming from not knowing how to flirt. I am like that also. If he has already asked this other girl it might be too late to flirt with him.
I good way to start flirting is with compliments. Everyone likes hearing good things about themself.
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sounds like a real jerk. He's definitly not worth your time. He sounds like a natural flirt to me.
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Well, don't give up on him. Be patient and see what happens... likewise, don't throw in your hand and attempt to hang your fate on one guy.
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