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Abortion.
I was always against abortion. I am 16 years old and pregnant. I have a boyfriend for 5 monghs now and we never had sex. The problem is that on a night out with a friend of mine "girl" I got raped. Somebody must have sleeped me that ruffy cause I do not remember anything and woke up the next day feeling like my head is going to explode. That happen over 45 days ago.
My parents now, we told them its my boyfriends and it is my fault cuase my parents have been through a lot and I really dont want them to know. I consider myself mature enough to battle with my own problems and mistakes. I consider it to be my fault since I was not carefull enough. Plus, them knowing would change a lot.
I definately do not want to keep that baby, I definately am not ready to become a mother especially on such an occasion and already too many people know. My parents want me to keep it even though we are not wealthy at all.
I know that after 3 months you can now longer have an abortion so I am running out of time. How do I convince my parents to let me do it? And...if they dont allow me to, I ll do it myself. What could change then? How will I be able to make them, accept my choice. My boyfriend has been really understanding with the hole situation and really helpfull. He is the one willing to give the money for such an...act.
I am ready to do anything it takes not to have that baby, If I have to punch myself in the stomach, I ll do it.
People from my church also know. They will never take me back after such a thing. My boyfriend sais he could move far away with me were we will work and go to school at the same time.
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Honestly, you need to get over your selfishness and realize that this child's life is not your own. The right is NOT yours to take that precious child's life that is at this moment, as I write to you, developing into a REAL breathing human being that will have feelings, a personality all their own, and a mother that this child will love. Ask yourself if you can live with the decision of killing your first child. Possibly you are killing one of the great politicians of the future, or a future soldier, or a future shaper of minds. No one's life but your own is yours to take. Your immaturity and your selfishness is showing. Grow up and face the consequences of what has happened to you. It isn't your fault that you got raped, but it is also not your child's fault. You need to understand that.
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Just on what you said towards the end: How can they not take you back after an abortion? I'm not sure which church you go to, but it would seem that most, if not all church (I'm guessing its Christian, sorry if its not), would preach some sort of forgiveness. There's a big problem if they don't accept you because of that. God never hates the person, he just doesn't like what they do.
I'm strongly against abortion, but I won't give you that argument. I will caution you that doing something to yourself could permanently damage you. I've heard a lot of stories where they tried to use hangers or other methods - they got rid of the baby, but with that the chance to ever have one again. Please think things through carefully, I'm aware its not easy.
That whole part about moving away to work and go to school... Not too sure about that. For people under 18 (I'm assuming he is), it's very difficult to just pick up and leave somewhere and start things up all over again.
I'll save the abortion advice for other people, I'm offering my thoughts on those other things. The church should accept you back, doing something to yourself could lead to serious complications, and the realism of picking up and leaving just doesn't hold solid when people will be looking for you. Think things through. Honestly, I don't see why more people don't consider adoption before they consider abortion.
There's more than a million couples on the waiting list for an adopted baby - you can't say its unwanted. There are more agencies available to help raising children financially and in other areas, than there are agencies to help women with the aftershocks of abortion. Anyways I'll leave it up to you. Hope that helped and good luck. Keep strong.
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tell them the truth i also dont belive in abortion its not ok but in your case there is an exeption this wasnt yoour fault and as far as the church thing goes i am catholic and tak my religion VERY seriously but i also have disagreements with the church so stand up and challenge your faith to become stronger goodluck :)
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Your first step is to phone up your local sexual health clinic. They should offer teens free appointments, or on a sliding scale.
You will be able to access accurate, relevant info about pregnancy and abortion from them. They should also offer you counselling - important to help you come to a decision, but also to deal with your sexual assault.
You need to do what is right for you. Your life now sounds heavily dependent on your parents' and church's opinion; this is a big factor as you still live at home. Still, you won't be there forever - but you will have to be okay with your choice.
Whatever you decide, please get some emotional support for yourself. Keeping a baby OR having an abortion will impact you, there's no way around that. And assault will probably have an affect on you, too.
Speak to a professional ASAP, and they will also be able to offer you support with how to speak to your parents.
Best of luck.
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I am so sorry that this happened to you. You really need to talk to someone, even a doctor, police, teacher, counselor, pastor, anyone that you trust about the rape. Even if you are a strong girl, it is your right to be protected and helped, not protect others. No part of the rape was your fault....NO PART OF THE RAPE WAS YOUR FAULT. If you try to abort the baby yourself, you will be putting your health and life in jeopardy. Abortion can only safely be done by a trained doctor. It might make a big difference in getting support from your folks, if you tell them the real truth about the rape. Do not let anyone else make a decision that is yours alone. You do have a legal right to get an abortion without your parent's permission. Some states require parental notification, but you need to at least go to a clinic and talk to someone who knows all the facts for helping you make your own decision and getting support. Your boyfriend is trying to help you, and is sweet, but this is your life decision and no one else's. You need to get as much information about your choices as you can, so you will be educated and informed with all the facts and make a choice you can live with. Give your parents a chance to support your decision, but if they still don't, promise me you will talk to a real doctor/go to a free clinic and not ever try to abort the pregnancy yourself. It is terrible dangerous and can be lethal! Get back to me if you need more advice about anything. I'll be here for you.
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I can see your dilemma.
In the case of a rape, I'm sure your parents and church would understand, or at the very least would be more supportive. You have to tell them. I sincerely doubt they would blame you for such a terrible thing happening to you.
Have you considered adoption? I know it must be very difficult for you, but it is another option. You aren't ready to be a mother yet, you said. But maybe someone else is, who can take care of this baby. It might be a good option to reconcile the situation with your church and your parents.
But either way, it is ultimately your decision.
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well you asked for an opinion basically and i gave you mine so i'd appreciate a better rating. thanks.
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Well, I am also against abortion but I do think it's ok when the circumstance it rape. no matter what you did that night, you didn't bring the rape upon yourself...a lot of women think they could have been more careful or less promiscuous looking to avoid it but it's never your fault. I think that if you tell your parents the truth, they will understand and might consider letting you get one. If they just think you were having sex with your bf then they're not going to let you. Maybe you should just have the baby and put it up for adoption. it's in you and it must come out somehow so why not let it out alive? don't punch yourself in the stomach or drink vinegar or anything... it might not die and then you will just have a sick child to live with and it will need someone to take care of it. it could harm you to try and kill the baby. if everyone knows you a pregnant you might as well have the child and give it away and then you wouldnt have to tell your parents the truth. just think about it, i can imagine its a realy hard time but stay focused and remember that you will live with this for the rest of your life no matter what you do. <3
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You may not like this answer, and I may not be paying attention to the major question, but if your boyfriend's willing to spend money to move away and all, you should be okay to take care of the baby.. This is a very difficult situation... and it all depends on your morals, but do not, I repeat do NOT try punching yourself or anything like that. Also, if a bunch of people already know, you shouldn't worry about your reputation i bring pregnant...
All I'm saying, is to think this over..
Kat<3
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First of all what happened to you is NOT your fault.
A crime was committed against you. A couple of crimes. Your drink was spiked and you were raped.
NEVER believe that anything that happened was your fault. I think you need to tell the truth so that people will be more understanding of your situation.
I don't know that you can talk your parents into allowing an abortion. The child is half yours and their grandchild. Knowing the truth of the situation could possibly help.
Please don't do anything stupid regardless. It isn't the babies fault any more than it is yours.
And the baby is more yours than the guy who hurts yous.
Good luck with it all. Tell mom and dad the truth.
That may help them at least to understand your feelings on things. :)
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