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Heyy, I wanted to ask you a question b/c you have good ratings, and you're a guy.
Let me tell you the reason I'm having a problem first: I go to a mostly girls school and so I never really had the chance to converse with guys, and I don't really know how to talk to them. And I am 17 years old if that helps :)
1) Is it weird for a girl to just randomly walk up to a guy in public and just start a random conversation??
2) How come if a guy sees a "hot girl" he'll just go straight up to her and talk to her, but if he sees a nice girl who's a little overweight he won't talk to her?
Ok I think that's it. I've never had a boyfriend (unfortunately) and I wanted to know how to go about meeting new people. Thanks a lot.
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well to answer question 1 i'll say that it's not weird. it's just how people make friends. i mean when you were a kid and knew nobody how did you go about meeting people? you went up to them and talked to them didn't you? that's what's you're supposed to do, go up to a random person and talk to them. otherwise you'll never meet people.
and for number 2: as a guy i can say that when i see a "hot girl" i usually don't go anywhere near them because 90% of the time they're bitches and just want a guy around so they can get free crap and a false sense of "love" from a guy who only likes her because she's "hot" i honestly look for girls who are a bit quieter, or a bit overweight, or something else. because those girls are the ones who will provide an actual quality relationship and probably a lot more as they are the ones who usually aren't sluts, or bitches, or gold diggers. but are nice, kind, and loving. really it's all based on the maturity of the guy moreso than anything else. and most guys at age 17 are dumbasses..then again i'm 19 and i'm a dumbass so go figure.
and don't worry, i'm not a very attractive guy either, i'm a bit overweight and hairy haha. i didn't have my first girlfriend til i was about 18. so i know where you're coming from, and if ya wanna talk hit me up on AIM or something. i'll help ya out.
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before i answer these questions, let me first say that the best places to meet new guys (or friends in general) of substance are in classes, clubs or extracurricular activities, as corny as that sounds. having something in common like that automatically sets up a conversation. that said...
1) yes and no. don't walk up to a guy in the mall and ask if he likes apples, at the risk of looking mentally challenged. DO approach a guy in public and tell him you like his shirt/jeans/hair/other and ask where he bought them. see, if you aboslutely have to approach a random guy in public, at least find something to seize on to start a conversation that isn't random. like, if you see a hot guy in a bookstore checking out a book you love, walk right up and recommend it to him. the less random you can make the encounter, the less awkward it will be.
2) you answered your own question, babe...if a guy thinks someone's hot, he'll approach her. life isn't fair, but men also can't read minds. how would a guy know the overweight girl is nice from across the room? that aside, just because the opposite sex isn't lining up at your door doesn't mean they're not interested. i've only been approached by one or two random girls in my life, which means i've had to do most of the initiating myself.
sad fact it is, but everyone judges by looks at least when they first lay eyes on someone. your best bet is to be as smart and charming as can be and not rely on your looks (pretty as they may be) to win him over. yes, it is possible to become sexier or more attractive to someone physically without changing your looks.
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Hey! Thank you so much for trusting me with your question. I am always glad to help. Going to an all girl or an all guy school makes things very tough when conversing with the opposite sex. Some guys just naturally have the ability to speak to women, some don't, same thing goes for girls, some have the gift, some don't. To answer your first question, no, it's not weird to strike up a conversation, it just depends on what type of conversation you start. There are some that will be blatently and obviously weird, that we won't go into, but if you just start on something neutral like "Nice day out today, isn't it?," that leaves alot more "maneuvering" room. If the guy is friendly, he will continue the conversation, if he isn't friendly, or maybe just in a relationship already, he may not respond, or he may be very curt. I don't suggest trying out some random pick-up line, that's for guys to use on girls at bars. It's usually a very stupid, pointless tactic that only really works for the small amount of guys blessed with the gift of "girl-gab." OK, on to the second question. To understand it, you first need to understand the typical modern male mind. Your typical all-american teenage male is a rather shallow breed of mammal. They go for looks, rather than substance, which is something that you obviously have. Ever heard the phrase "Only stupid people are breeding"? Think about all the teenage pregancies you have ever heard of. Probably the hot girl who decided to get a little too wasted, or just a little too out of control, the hot guy comes in, nine months later, all you have is a much too young mother and father who's lives are now ruined. Lots of guys are just out to get some with the hottest girl they can get. Its a bragging rights competition. Luckily, not all guys go in for it. There are still nice guys in the world. Not to toot my own horn, but yours truely here thinks that the blonde Barbies of our generation are ruining the genetic pool, while girls of great substance are too few to help keep the pool from going blonde. Sucks for us guys who look at more than the girl's body. Being even a little overweight in this day and age is like the kiss of death, unless you are a football player or someone really rich. We can thank no one else but the marketing and entertainment industries, who, because of them, we have girls getting boob jobs and liposuction instead of money for graduation presents. Hollywood has us believing that girls have to be pencil thin with at least 'D' cup breasts, and guys have to be completely ripped, toned, and athletic. Alot of the nicer guys aren't completely tone, ripped, and athletic. They may stumble over their words in front of the girls that they like. I know that from experience, I am not exactly the pinnacle of physical fitness, yet I maintain an active social life, even while I too am still single. I've had two girlfriends since the age of fifteen, haven't had one since before the age of 18, and I'm turning 19 in less than a month. The best advice I can give you is just to be as open and friendly as you normally are. Be yourself, some lucky guy will see how great you are! Good luck, and email me if you need anymore help.
Best Wishes, Jordan-IronChefRogue1@aol.com or jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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Lol, I'm actually a really bad person to ask this as I am somewhat socially inept, so I'll approach this from 2 perspectives - academically, and my own point of view (means it'll be long).
1) Yes and no. If she's uncomfortable, it feels weird. If she's confident, it's not as likely to feel weird. As far as /being/ weird or not... let me put it this way. "Weird" is that which does not follow suit with the rest of society. Our society comes from some very chauvanistic roots in many respects. One of them is that a girl is not supposed to make moves, but wait for the guy to do so. Which I think is utterly inane, but that's beside the point.
The point is, society is only just getting to the point where it's no longer rare to see a woman approach a man, so in many respects it can easily still be seen as weird.
As for me, I'd love it if a woman just walked up to me and said something along the lines of "I felt like coming over and introducing myself just so I could talk to you." Then again, I'm rather weird like that. I also believe a woman should, if she has any desire to do so, feel 100% free to be the one to take the initiative. But that's probably somewhat due to the fact that I'm a little bit of a coward when it comes to these types of things (with the role reversed) because I really don't know what to do. However, the best advice I think a person can give on that (what to do, say, yadda) is "just be yourself" because if you're trying to be someone else, and they start to like you, they're actually starting to like someone else, not you.
2) All men are pigs. Including me. Now, of course, I mean that to be taken with a grain of salt in that there are varying degrees.
Men are sex-driven - they derive satisfaction from the physical aspect of a relationship more so than women (where women derive satisfaction from the emotional apsect moreso than men), on average. They're also less apt to consider anything other than physical appearance when it comes between a number of women who they do not know.
In other words, the statement "God only gave men enough blood to think with one head at a time" has some truth to it - rather than going after a mildly less attractive woman and spreading things out a bit, they all go after the more attractive woman (if you watch 'A Beautiful Mind' you'll see what I mean). They also tend to think with their lesser head.
Don't worry, this changes; men do actually mature. Some slower than others, but eventually, you know. And there really is hope for finding someone. A lot of men are able to look past physical appearances. Myself, for example, while I do not deny that more attractive women catch my eye far quicker than less attractive ones, there are a few points - if her smile is not genuine, her attractiveness instantly goes down; as long as she's healthy, it really doesn't matter whether she's just attractive or a goddess (I'll be honest, I could not be in a serious relationship with a woman if I had no physical attraction to her), and I typically don't prefer a goddess; and while I am interested in a number of women, the only woman I have a well-established interest in (aka, we've been friends for years and I would consider moving beyond friendship) may be "a few extra pounds" (more than I am), but I really don't care.
3) The fact that you've never had a boyfriend means that you've saved yourself a bit of heartache. Really, we're typically not worth it until around 20 anyway. And even then it's hard to find ones that are. And to meet new people, just put yourself in situations to do so. I went to fanime (anime convention) where I could be a complete dork, and get away with it (it was awesome... yet I only freaked out less than 5 people - very disappointing). Maybe you could go to... a billiards hall (if you like pool), a beach, an arcade, just walk around the mall, a coffee shop, or wherever people in your town go to hang out and you would enjoy yourself.
Feel free to ask for more or to IM me (AIM: c0lorlessgreen).
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Thanks for coming to me first of all. 1) It is considered wierd or odd if a girl walks up to a guy and just starts talking. They might think you are wierd, which is not something you want. 2)That's the way society is really as of now. Most men have been brainwashed that tiny wastes and big tits is the way to go, so therefore guys take that to heart and go after only the hottest girls. Chances are that if you do get a guy that has that mentality of just getting the hottest girls, then you won't be with him long and he will probably be a butt. The best thing you can do in meeting new guys is to just start some casual conversation with them. Ask them their name and go from them. You're better off talking to them slowly and getting to know them that way, don't rush it though. You might try winking at him or smiling at him from afar. This will usually get the guy's attention and from there he will probably initiate the conversation, but if he doesn't fall back on the casual conversation. Oh and don't forget to introduce yourself, you want him to remember the name of the angel he conversed with. Hope I helped.
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i know how you feel, i went to a mostly guys school for middle-junior high.
1)not weird at all, as long as you are at least marginally attractive you shouldnt have a problem here. i mean the convo shouldnt be completely random, like 101 uses for qtips other than sticking them in your ears, but something like walking up to a guy you have a class with and talking about the class is perfectly normal, most guys like girls that make the first move.
2)hmmm not many guys are like this, youll notice alot of guys just dont go up to random girls to talk because they are shy. ive thought about it and asked around and heres what it comes down to with looks, looking totaly hot but nothing else will typically get you the first date, and thats it. its the nice smart funny girls, wether or not they are a little overweight that get the good relationships. you might have to make the first move, or you might not but for the most part guys arent as hung up on looks as girls think they are.
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